Alatar, beleive me, I am no less sorry than you that you cannot have the opportunity of carrying your own child.
However, just because men aren't able to do this, why should that automatically mean that a terrible burden is placed on women in this regard? For thousands of years, the only power most women had was the fact that they could bear children and men could not. And even then, when women have no choices about whether or not they can/want to have children, it's no power at all.
So maybe you can understand why women, even today, consider this something of a touchy topic when men appear to be trying to tell them what they should and should not do with their bodies?
If someone told you that you were selfish for not wanting to put yourself in the way of physical and psychological harm that you were under no real obligation to suffer...well, I have to think you'd look at them a little oddly as well.
In any case, you say that there are two sides to the story, which yes, I understand...I beleive that's why most couples, before choosing to spend their lives together, discuss the matter of children and who wants/expects what from their partner. So really, I don't see this as being a do-or-die issue...sometimes there will have to be compromises made, and if either party feels strongly enough on the issue to break it off with the other, well...that's just the way life goes. One can't be expected to sacrifice something so important and essential to themselves, either way.
That said, you don't seem to understand 'our' side of the issue. You really appear to be just brushing off our concerns, if they aren't medical, as something shallow and selfish and childish, which, quite frankly, I find insulting.
First of all...the whole physicality issue...clearly, when compared to the love of children and such that many people have posted about in this thread, losing one's former physical appearance is a smaller issue. However, if you look at society at large, and even the way in which individual people view each other, looks are, like it or not, a huge part of life. Just from the "Body image" thread in this forum, it's quite clear that even the most beautiful and intelligent of women can have deep seated issues about the way they look. Pregnancy is often something that will change a woman's shape, not for the better. With all the emphasis that society places on looks, you still blame women for not wanting to deal with this? Sure, you can say society shouldn't be this way, as I think most people would agree, but it is society's fault, and not an individual woman's.
I would say though that shape alone is among the least of the issues that women are thinking of when they say they don't want to go through pregnancy. Surely you know of the other kinds of physical problems, some of them permanent, that it can cause. These are pretty scary things that I can't imagine anyone would voluntarily wish to happen to them...so again, you blame some women for not wanting to take the risk? I don't want to have a career in a dangerous field like the Army, police force, or firefighting where the risks of death and injury are increased - does that mean there's something wrong with me, that I'm selfish and foolish? I really don't think so.
And you seem to be discounting the psychological aspects as well - what about the chances of post-partum depression or psycosis? Or even just the increased hormones and mood swings of pregnancy? I have, despite not being pregnant, seen these things for myself, as my sister suffered greatly from depression after the birth of her last child. So I'm to be blamed for not wanting to put my mental, as well as physical, health on the line?
I have sympathy for men in that their reproductive futures do depend on women, yes, though women's also depend on men in a similar, if not equal fashion. But I can never know what it's like to be a man. And you, no matter how much time you spend with pregnant women and mothers and midwives, can't know what it's like to be a woman and be facing that kind of choice. And I think that's all anyone was trying to say when they told you to 'shut up because you're a man.'
And if you actually read all of that, I congratulate you.