This is what I wrote in response:
Andri wrote:
I just came back from a maternity ward where a friend of mine had her baby two days ago. I went to visit and see the baby. He was so adorable...just like a little monkey!
I watched her as she held him and hugged him - such a lovely picture. She then asked me if I wanted to hold him but I said no - I felt really frightened at the thought that I would hold something so tiny and fragile.
So, I have this sincere question that I would like to ask. To all mothers and future-mothers alike.
How does a woman decide to have a baby?
Don't you (or didn't) you get overwhelmed by the responsibility?
Andri, thinking about the responsibility comes last.
We always wanted at least one child. And we tried for four years. Then I was told that I had too many male hormons and my husband was told that his semen-threads were too slow.
So we went through some severe depression-like feelings until we decided to take up an insemination. It worked first time, and we were happy to have Jana. We never thought it would work without help, so I really was surprised to find out at the Oxford Moot in 2003 that I was pregnant. (And yes, it was that very weekend that I found out)
So, we weren't deciding for Fabian, he decided for us. And though he steals a lot of my sleep, I adore him sooo much.
We decided for Jana, because we wanted the joy a child can bring into your life. We never thought about the sorrows. We think about them now, when it's too late. Sometimes, when both are really tearing our nerves apart, we look at each other and say "Can you tell me why we wanted to have kids?" Moments later they make us laugh and they're absolutely sweet angels.