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yovargas
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Posted: Sat 14 Jan , 2006 5:29 pm
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I'm pretty sure I remember that I used to see the ol' "Warning: may cause epileptic seizures" sign when starting up video games back in the day. I don't think they put them on anymore though.


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elfshadow
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Posted: Sat 14 Jan , 2006 5:40 pm
Kill the headlights and put it in neutral
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It's like the Japanese TV show in The Simpsons that was specifically made to cause seizures. :D

Another funnyweird story:
Quote:
GILLETT, Ark. - In most places, a politician has to kiss babies in order to succeed. Arkansas politicians have to eat raccoon.

The small east Arkansas town of Gillett doubles its population on the second weekend of every year as candidates and political junkies gather for its annual Coon Supper.

More than 60 years old, the event has become a required stop for anyone seeking or holding political office in Arkansas. Originally started as a fundraiser for high school athletics, it's now the ultimate meet-and-greet for the state's politicians.

"If anybody wants to be in the political scene in Arkansas, it's a must to attend the Coon Supper," said Phil English, the master of ceremonies.

Friday's supper was especially busy since it's an election year. Both announced candidates for Arkansas governor - Asa Hutchinson and Attorney General Mike Beebe - attended to shake hands, talk politics and, for those with the stomach for it, eat barbecued raccoon.

"Raccoon tastes like raccoon," English said. "I've never heard of any elected official or politician who didn't like 'coon."

Over the years, legends have developed about back-room deals made in Gillett, and political gossip is as plentiful as the several hundred pounds of raccoon served in the high school gymnasium.

U.S. Rep. Marion Berry, D-Ark., whose district includes Gillett, hosts a party at his farm before the annual dinner. He credits the gathering with his own political fortune and said he's witnessed far too many deals in his own living room before the supper.

"If it weren't for the Coon Supper, I probably wouldn't be in public life today," Berry said.

The gathering even earned a mention in former U.S. Sen. Dale Bumpers' speech defending Bill Clinton during impeachment proceedings in 1999.

Bumpers recalled a 1988 flight he and then-Governor Clinton took to DeWitt, on their way to the Coon Supper that year. The plane crashed on an icy runway, but neither were injured.

Bumpers called the supper "a political event that one misses at his own risk."

Tickets for the supper usually sell out weeks in advance, with candidates and parties buying blocks for supporters and colleagues.

Unofficially, the supper is a political shindig but organizers are careful to keep politics out of the evening's program. Only elected officials are allowed to speak at the gathering, so aspiring politicians don't have a chance to make any stump speeches - but go to be seen.

Organizers spent the last few days before the supper preparing between 600 and 800 pounds of raccoon meat for the supper. As the supply of the animal dwindles and as palates change, the amount served has dropped from the 1,800 pounds or so that has been served in past years.

Though the event has a rich history, some have raised questions about how much longer it will be able to continue. The Gillett schools were consolidated into another district two years ago, and some wonder if the 120-student high school can survive. Losing the high school would mean losing the dinner's host.

State Sen. Shane Broadway, D-Bryant, said he doesn't think Gillett will allow its school or the Coon Supper to disappear completely: "This is the one place where I don't see that happening. You have a community here that will fight to keep this school."

Linda Cover, who helps prepares sweet potatoes served with the raccoon, said the feast is considered an unofficial holiday for the Delta town.

"Around here, the holidays start with Thanksgiving and they're not really over until after the Coon Supper," said Cover.


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Lord_Morningstar
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Posted: Sun 15 Jan , 2006 11:25 pm
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Come on, people, we need to keep this up!
Quote:
Arresting trend in Russian parties

January 16, 2006

MOSCOW: When Denis Matsuev, one of Russia's best-known pianists, turned 30 recently his friends wanted to give him a party he would never forget. Instead of ordering cake and champagne, they arranged for him to be arrested.

As part of a carefully planned practical joke, Matsuev was met at a Moscow railway station by real armed police, placed in their van and threatened with torture. "I was so scared I nearly passed out," he said.

But instead of taking him to prison, the police delivered Matsuev to his friends, who had put a piano in the back of a truck so he could play while driving around under police escort.

Matsuev, who claims to have enjoyed his $35,000 birthday treat, was a victim of the latest trend among Russia's rich and powerful. Apparently bored with everyday excess, they are paying thousands of dollars for ever more elaborate pranks organised by a company that caters for the most bizarre sense of humour.

They have used police to plant drugs in the cars of loved ones, watching as the dupes are arrested and taken to jail.

One Moscow businessman was detained after a kilogram of "heroin" was found in his Mercedes. He was locked up in a cell for several hours with actors posing as criminals and questioned by an investigator who threatened him with a 15-year jail sentence.

The escapade cost his friends $118,000 and included a stunt in which the businessman was tricked into believing he would receive an award from President Vladimir Putin.

One popular choice is to invite friends to a party at an isolated country dacha on Moscow's outskirts. After a while the host vanishes, the phone lines are cut and the guests are locked in from the outside. For an extra fee an actor posing as an axe-wielding maniac can break in.

"Our clients are people with money, influence and taste," said Sergei Knyazev, whose company sets up the hoaxes.

Knyazev was inspired by The Game, a Hollywood film in which Michael Douglas plays a businessman whose brother pays a firm to spice up his regimented life with dramatic events.

The latest addition to Knyazev's catalogue of options, which has yet to be ordered, is called Robinson Crusoe. For $47,000 a group of up to five friends are invited on to a yacht and shipwrecked on an island with no food or shelter.

The Sunday Times

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Onizuka Eikichi
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Posted: Mon 16 Jan , 2006 1:35 am
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yovargas wrote:
I'm pretty sure I remember that I used to see the ol' "Warning: may cause epileptic seizures" sign when starting up video games back in the day. I don't think they put them on anymore though.
Actually, they've gotten back into that. It's more of a general health disclaimer now, but yeah. They put it in all the manuals and in Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance the VERY FIRST THING that is displayed on your TV when you put it on is a health warning thing that won't disappear until you press "start."

They even give advice like "take a 15 minute break every hour" and "Stop playing immediately and get a doctor if your body starts twitching or acting funny." Stuff like that.

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sauronsfinger
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Posted: Mon 16 Jan , 2006 3:24 am
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LM
great story from Russia. I think if somebody did that to me I would have died from a heart attack . The cost of these things is nearly beyond belief.

Elfshadow
my favorite line from your story is
"racoon tastes like racoon"
like Robert DeNiro said....this is this - this is not something else.
perfection.

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There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs. - John Rogers


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sauronsfinger
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Posted: Mon 16 Jan , 2006 1:07 pm
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Quote:
Lawmaker aims to lower urination penaltiesAssociated Press
ST. LOUIS -
Ken Ortmann, an alderman who owns a local tavern wants to lower the penalties for public urination before the Feb. 25 Mardi Gras Parade.
Ortmann said his bill would allow police to issue different citations for public urinators who try to be discreet than they might for those who are more open about it.
"There's a difference between going in the middle of the street, in front of God and country, and somebody who is behind a Dumpster," Ortmann said.
Public urination is now classified as lewd and lascivious conduct, which carries a penalty of 90 days in jail, a $100 to $500 fine, or both. Ortmann's proposal doesn't change the maximum penalties, but he hopes the actual penalty would be much less.
But public urination remains plenty offensive to residents of Soulard, where some homeowners leave their sprinklers on to discourage Marti Gras partygoers from relieving themselves on their lawns.
"That's what portable toilets are for," resident Mary Linden said. "We don't appreciate going out and seeing it - the people are often belligerent."

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There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs. - John Rogers


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MariaHobbit
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Posted: Mon 16 Jan , 2006 4:55 pm
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Why is that kitten's single eye open? Kitten's are born with their eyes closed. :(


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Ara-anna
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Posted: Mon 16 Jan , 2006 5:46 pm
Daydream Believer
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First people to find the Americas.... :scratch:

Native American #1: They say they are the first people to find America.
Native American #2: Alriiiiiiiighty then.
Native American #1: They say they are Irish.
Native American #2: Greeeaat.

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Dave_LF
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Posted: Mon 16 Jan , 2006 9:18 pm
You are hearing me talk
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yovargas wrote:
I'm pretty sure I remember that I used to see the ol' "Warning: may cause epileptic seizures" sign when starting up video games back in the day. I don't think they put them on anymore though.
Not in the game itself maybe, but Nintendo at least puts an entire little booklet full of warnings in each and every case.


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Lord_Morningstar
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Posted: Tue 17 Jan , 2006 6:45 am
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Quote:
Parrot lifts lid on woman's affair

From correspondents in London
January 17, 2006


A TALKATIVE parrot was being blamed for the break-up of a couple's relationship after squawking the name of the woman's secret lover, British newspapers reported today.

Ziggy, an eight-year-old African grey, prompted a confession from 25-year-old call centre worker Suzy Collins that she was having a four-month fling with a former colleague when the pet blurted out: "Gary, I love you."

The bird had previously said "Hiya, Gary" when Collins' mobile phone rang and made kissing noises when the name was mentioned on radio or television but its owner, Chris Taylor, from Leeds, northern England, laughed it off.

But the computer programmer – who bought the bird as a chick and named it after singer David Bowie's alter ego, Ziggy Stardust – said the penny dropped when the couple were snuggled up on the sofa before Christmas.

"We were watching telly when Ziggy blurted out, 'I love you, Gary' in Suzy's voice. I started laughing but when I looked at Suzy, I could tell something was up. Her face was like beetroot and she started to cry," the 30-year-old said.

"I felt sick to my stomach. She told me that she'd been seeing someone she'd met at work called Gary and that she wanted to finish with me.

"She said she was going to tell me anyway but she didn't know how and couldn't find the right time. I've not idea who this Gary is. I was devastated. Suzy left that night and I've not seen her since.

"She came back to collect her stuff when I was out. I hope I never see her again."

Ms Collins told newspapers she was not proud of her actions but admitted she never liked Ziggy in the first place.

Mr Taylor – already divested of a girlfriend – has now given away Ziggy.

"I couldn't get him to stop saying that bloody name ... what else could I do?" he said.

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The OG Borry
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Posted: Tue 17 Jan , 2006 7:37 am
The best things in life are not things
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parrot soup :blackeye: *arrgh* (<- just for fun)
Borry


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Jude
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Posted: Tue 17 Jan , 2006 3:39 pm
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Copied and pasted from the Ottawa Citizen:
Quote:
Pet parrot turns stool pigeon, exposes secret love affair
'I love you, Gary,' kissy noises alert boyfriend


Alan Hamilton, The Times, London; with files from The Daily Telegraph

LONDON - When Chris Taylor's pet parrot repeatedly called out the name Gary, his suspicions were aroused. He didn't know a Gary.

And, when Ziggy the parrot made slurpy kissing noises every time he heard the name Gary on television, Mr. Taylor wondered if Ziggy was trying to tell him something about some other pretty boy. The penny dropped when, one romantic evening as Mr. Taylor cuddled his girlfriend, Suzy Collins, on the sofa, Ziggy blurted out: "I love you, Gary."

What gave the game away was the fact that Ziggy spoke the fatal phrase in Ms. Collins' voice. Even by the standards of African grey parrots, Ziggy is a mimic and a half, and from his cage in the corner he had heard every bill and coo of a secret love affair.

A chill ran down Mr. Taylor's spine. He turned to Ms. Collins, whose cheeks had flushed to beetroot. As she dissolved in tears, she was forced to admit to a month-long fling with Gary, some of their intimacies conducted in the house she shared with Mr. Taylor, while he was out at work, but Ziggy wasn't.

She couldn't deny it; every time her cellphone had rung, Ziggy had piped up in perfect imitation of her: "Hiya Gary."

Feathers flew, the relationship was over, and Ms. Collins, 25, a call-centre worker, was sent packing that very night from the house in Leeds, northern England, she had shared with man and bird for a year.

That was sad enough, but what is even more heartbreaking is that Mr. Taylor has had to part with Ziggy. Hearing the bird constantly squawking the hated name of Gary in the voice of an ex-girlfriend was just too much.

Ziggy has found a new home thanks to the good offices of a local parrot dealer; Mr. Taylor, 30, a computer programmer, is adjusting to life on his own.

"I wasn't sorry to see the back of Suzy after what she did, but it really broke my heart to let Ziggy go," he said yesterday.

"I love him to bits and I really miss having him around, but it was torture hearing him repeat that name over and over again."

He believes Ziggy was looking after his master's interests as the bird never really took to Ms. Collins, nor she to him. It might have been jealousy, which can flare so easily in a household of two males and one female.

"Ziggy was one in a million; he was a loyal friend, and I have no doubt he was looking out for me," Mr. Taylor said.

The name "Gary'' was first uttered by Ziggy about two months ago and Ms. Collins denied knowing anyone of that name.

Mr. Taylor thought it hilarious and assumed it was just another thing that had been picked up from the television.

He said: "Whenever he heard the name Gary on the telly he would start making these big, slurpy kissing sounds.

"I didn't have a clue what he was trying to tell me.

"In fact I think I even joked to Suzy that he (Gary) must be her bit on the side.''

The bird was nothing if not multi-talented.

He was, according to his former master, a master impressionist, who could exactly imitate Mr. Taylor's friends, copy voices from television and radio, and do convincing impersonations of the doorbell, microwave and alarm clock.

Mr. Taylor acquired him as a chick eight years ago and named him after the David Bowie character, Ziggy Stardust. He taught the bird to dance while it sang: "Put on your red shoes and dance the blues."

Ms. Collins, who is staying with friends, admitted her fling yesterday, but refused to identify Gary.

"I'm not proud of what I did but I'm sure Chris would be the first to admit we were having problems. We had spoken about splitting up several times and I think it was inevitable."

She added: "I'm surprised to hear he's got rid of that bloody bird; he spent more time talking to it than he did to me. I couldn't stand Ziggy, and it looks now the feeling was mutual."

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Melkor and Ungoliant in need of some relationship counselling.


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cemthinae
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Posted: Wed 18 Jan , 2006 1:02 pm
TTBK's cemmie
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From my ISP's headlines:
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Two-Year-Old Called for Jury Duty

Monday, January 16, 2006
NEW BEDFORD, Mass. - Kaylee Reynolds had a problem when she recently received a summons to serve on a jury. She wasn't old enough to read it.

The 2-year-old has quite a few years to go before she reaches the minimum age of 18 to serve on a state jury. Lucky for Kaylee, Massachusetts Jury Commissioner Patricia Reynolds seemed willing to let it slide for a while.

"We'll give her a 16-year grace period," Wood told The Standard-Times of New Bedford.

Wood guessed the mix-up could be traced to a local census form. If the form has a blank or mistaken birth date, July 4, 1776 is filled in.

"With that date we'll know it is wrong," Wood said.

Besides her questionable understanding of the concepts of guilt or innocence, there are other reasons why it's best to wait for Kaylee to serve. Her mother, Patricia, says Kaylee gets really cranky if she doesn't get her noontime nap
What's awesome is she now has 16 years to come up with ways to evade jury duty!

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sauronsfinger
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Posted: Wed 18 Jan , 2006 1:36 pm
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centhinae

Suddenly the OJ Simpson verdict makes perfect sense. The people did not have the sense of a two year old. Kaylee Reynolds would have done a better job.

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There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs. - John Rogers


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Jude
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Posted: Wed 18 Jan , 2006 1:54 pm
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They must have napped through all the evidence.

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cemthinae
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Posted: Wed 18 Jan , 2006 2:02 pm
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SF, clearly a case where the knowledge of guilt & innocence needed no establishment!

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MariaHobbit
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Posted: Wed 18 Jan , 2006 2:23 pm
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That poor, poor parrot! :bawl:

Birds form strong emotional bonds with their owners, and for the man to just give the bird to someone else is horribly cruel. The bird didn't know it did anything wrong.

Scumbag man. He could have taught the bird some new, more exciting word or phrase to take the place of the word, "Gary".

:rage:


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Tinsel_the_Elf
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Posted: Wed 18 Jan , 2006 5:57 pm
* trolley dodger *
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Clone your own Kirk! William Shatner sells his kidney stone for charity

The puns are endless. :D

Shatner kidney stone goes for $25,000

GoldenPalace.com is buyer; money to charity


LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- An online casino has a piece of Capt. Kirk.

Actor William Shatner has sold his kidney stone for $25,000, with the money going to a housing charity, it was announced Tuesday.

Shatner reached agreement Monday to sell the stone to GoldenPalace.com.

"This takes organ donors to a new height, to a new low, maybe. How much is a piece of me worth?" he said in a telephone interview. (Watch what else Shatner said comes with the stone -- 1:56)

GoldenPalace.com is noted for its collection of oddities, which includes a partially eaten cheese sandwich thought to contain the image of the Virgin Mary.

"This is a bold new addition to our fleet," GoldenPalace.com Chief Executive Officer Richard Rowe said in a statement.

The money will go to Habitat for Humanity, which builds houses for the needy.

"This would be the first Habitat for Humanity house built out of stone," joked Darren Julien, president of Los Angeles-based Julien's Auctions, which handled the sale.

Shatner, who played Kirk on the original "Star Trek" TV show and won an Emmy for his role on "Boston Legal," passed the stone last fall.

The stone was so big, Shatner said, "you'd want to wear it on your finger."

"If you subjected it to extreme heat, it might turn out to be a diamond," he added.

Shatner said the idea of selling the stone came up after "Boston Legal" raised $20,000 for Habitat for Humanity. With the money for the stone, Shatner said there is about enough funding to build half a house.

GoldenPalace.com originally offered $15,000 for the stone but Shatner turned it down, noting that his "Star Trek" tunics have commanded more than $100,000. His counteroffer was accepted.

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LOTR Caption Competition #24--->Sauron Gives Isildur the Finger.


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sauronsfinger
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Posted: Wed 18 Jan , 2006 6:16 pm
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The really shocking thing about the stone article was Shatner stating that a Star Trek tunic sold for over $100,000.00.

Some very stupid people just have too much money.

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There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs. - John Rogers


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Ara-anna
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Posted: Wed 18 Jan , 2006 6:30 pm
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Hey I would of taught the bird to say negative things about Gary and Suzy, basically something along the lines of Gary and Suzy can kiss my ass.

And a two year old called to jury duty...amazing. She is probably also registered to vote and has a drivers liscense.

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