board77

The Last Homely Site on the Web

The Cult of Cheerfulness

Post Reply   Page 1 of 1  [ 13 posts ]
Author Message
Dave_LF
Post subject: The Cult of Cheerfulness
Posted: Wed 19 Apr , 2006 7:26 am
You are hearing me talk
Offline
 
Posts: 2950
Joined: Mon 28 Feb , 2005 8:14 am
Location: Great Lakes
 
I don't like introducing threads, especially when I'm not prepared to discuss the new topic at length, but I was directed to the following pair of articles today; they struck a chord, so I thought I'd share:

http://www.apria.com/resources/0,2725,4 ... 78,00.html
http://www.guardian.co.uk/comment/story ... 40,00.html
Quote:
"Right now," notes Barbara Ehrenreich, "America is in the grip of a cult of cheerfulness, which I first became aware of five years ago when was being treated for breast cancer. I was launched into this pink-riven culture back then. There is this sense that if you just have a positive attitude you can control your circumstances entirely, which is an idea that has no scientific basis at all: there is no evidence that positive people are more likely to survive cancer, for instance. And, in this culture, you can never be angry. Even if something terrible has happened, you have to put on a smiley face."
Quote:
Increasingly it is becoming unacceptable to voice legitimate distress. If you lose your job, become chronically ill, or fall prey to loneliness or depression, you are likely to be told - often abrasively - to look on the bright side. With unseemly haste, people rush to put an optimistic gloss on a disaster or to suggest a patently unworkable solution. We seem to be cultivating an intolerance of pain - even our own.
It's odd because I think they're absolutely right; but only with regard to public behavior. In private, and in places that feel private even though they aren't (read: the internet), you see people just seething with anger and/or wallowing in unhappiness. It feels similar to the paradox of hypersexed movies and TV shows coupled with severe sexual repression in "polite society". Perhaps it's just passion in general that's being kept in check?


Top
Profile Quote
Lord_Morningstar
Post subject:
Posted: Wed 19 Apr , 2006 11:21 am
Offline
 
Posts: 2420
Joined: Thu 03 Mar , 2005 8:22 pm
Location: Queensland, Australia
 
I tend to find it a matter of sociability more than anything. A person who complains isn’t much fun to talk to or be around, while a person who can find something funny or interesting in misfortune is.

_________________

[Space for Rent]


Top
Profile Quote
Lidless
Post subject:
Posted: Wed 19 Apr , 2006 3:12 pm
Als u het leven te ernstig neemt, mist u de betekenis.
Offline
 
Posts: 8261
Joined: Wed 27 Oct , 2004 8:21 pm
Location: London
 
The Brits have been this way for centuries. Only tea is involved as well.

_________________

[ img ]


Top
Profile Quote
LalaithUrwen
Post subject:
Posted: Wed 19 Apr , 2006 7:34 pm
The Grey Amaretto as Supermega-awesome Proud Heretic Girl
Offline
 
Posts: 21756
Joined: Thu 24 Feb , 2005 3:46 pm
 
Well, there is something to be said for your own mental health if you can look at the silver lining in bad things, with the caveat that ignoring genuine pain and distress is detrimental to your health (one word: shingles!).

I guess I look at it this way. The everyday downs of life? Look at the bright side and try to ignore the downside. Otherwise, you'll drive yourself insane. If you let the little things get to you, how will you react when something big happens?

For more serious issues, it is much healthier to allow yourself to work through your feelings. I prefer to do this in private, however, and not in public. (I consider this place private, in its own way, and that's why you'll find me venting here on a regular basis.)

Let It Go -- Great Big Sea

Hey man, you don't know what you're missing
You count your curses and forget about the blessings
Don't you think you should learn a little lesson
What are you waiting for?

Hey man, what makes you so special
Can't seem to find the angels for the devils
Don't you think that if you learned to love a little
You'd live a whole lot more

Chorus
Let it Go Let it Go
This is smaller than you know
No bigger than a pebble lying on a gravel road
Let it Go Let it Go
Got to leave it all behind you
Give the sun a chance to find you
Let it Go

Lift you head, there's no time for crying
You made your bed but don't think its fit to lie in
Wasted on the ground when you know you should be flying
What are you waiting for?

Bridge
How can a man not see
It seems so clear to me
You've just got to live and learn
Smile at the simple stuff
This road ain't long enough
To miss a single turn



And I'll have Irish Breakfast Tea, sugar and cream, if you please.


Lali

_________________

[ img ]


Top
Profile Quote
Meril36
Post subject:
Posted: Thu 20 Apr , 2006 4:36 pm
User avatar
Offline
 
Posts: 869
Joined: Thu 01 Sep , 2005 7:06 pm
Location: Lancaster, CA
 
Lidless wrote:
The Brits have been this way for centuries. Only tea is involved as well.
That becomes much funnier when you consider that "tea" is my siblings' codeword for sex.

_________________

Trying for profundity only limits depth.

With all the anger in the land, how long before the judgement day? Before we cut the fat ones down to size? Before the barricades arise?

Visit my art gallery at deviantART.


Top
Profile Quote
ToshoftheWuffingas
Post subject:
Posted: Thu 20 Apr , 2006 4:48 pm
Filthy darwinian hobbit
User avatar
Offline
 
Posts: 6921
Joined: Fri 11 Mar , 2005 12:52 pm
Location: Silly Suffolk
 
You mean us Brits have been getting it wrong all those years?


Bugger!

_________________

[ img ]
[url=http://www.flickr.com/photos

Norwich Beer Festival 2009


Top
Profile Quote
TheEllipticalDisillusion
Post subject:
Posted: Thu 20 Apr , 2006 5:05 pm
Insolent Pup
User avatar
Offline
 
Posts: 5381
Joined: Wed 09 Mar , 2005 8:31 pm
Location: Many Places
 
I like to express a healthy dose of negativity and anger when called for. It keeps me sane. I'd go insane if I was always positive and not ranting about what pisses me off (and that list can range from religion to politics to idiot fashion trends).

Sure, it's nice to keep positive in the bad times, but sometimes, with regards to cancer, I think it's misunderstood at times. Keeping positive might make you more pleasant, but it's not going to be your Duke of Wellington against the Bonaparte that is cancer.

I read the first article and I think I might actually pick up that Ehrenreich's book. I tried to get into the corporate world, and I was asked by my parent's if I put on that fake cheerfulness... it angered me then (and I ranted to many about it) and it angers me now.

:rage: Keepin' healthy.

_________________

The 11/3 Project


Top
Profile Quote
Klonkku
Post subject:
Posted: Sat 06 May , 2006 8:10 am
Blade Runner
User avatar
Offline
 
Posts: 625
Joined: Tue 18 Jan , 2005 7:58 pm
Location: In Rabanastre, buying potions.
 
Why should you force yourself to look at the bright side right-away? If you ask me, negativity should be processed thoroughly before one even begins to search for the silver-lining.

It is easier to find a meaning to a tragic event or illness after the subject has been processed within one's mind. Depression is usually a very welcome feeling. And why should one be afraid of showing depression, sadness and anger? They're as human as smiling is.


Top
Profile Quote
Mummpizz
Post subject:
Posted: Sun 07 May , 2006 6:32 am
Gloriosus
User avatar
Offline
 
Posts: 1805
Joined: Wed 08 Dec , 2004 11:10 am
Location: history (repeats itself)
Contact: Website
 
Because depression makes you even more depressed, limits your productivity not only in matters of work, your social interaction with others becomes restrained, and you end up as a lonesome bitter dullard in a corner, forgotten by the world.

My recipe: become a lonesome bitter dullard in a corner with a connection to the internet, so you can bother others without showing some fake heinous grin you've onlky put on so society doesn't kill you.

_________________

– – –


Top
Profile Quote
vison
Post subject:
Posted: Mon 08 May , 2006 4:30 am
Best friends forever
User avatar
Offline
 
Posts: 6546
Joined: Fri 04 Feb , 2005 4:49 am
 
"If life hands you a lemon, make lemonade!" they say, grinning cheerfully.

Well, sometimes the lemon is rotten. Sometimes you don't want any fucking lemonade.

That's my thought for the day.

_________________

Living on Earth is expensive,
but it does include a free trip
around the sun every year.


Top
Profile Quote
Riverthalos
Post subject:
Posted: Mon 08 May , 2006 5:05 am
bioalchemist
Offline
 
Posts: 5205
Joined: Wed 16 Mar , 2005 2:10 am
Location: at a safe distance
 
I think people deeply underestimate the importance of stewing, pouting, and feeling sorry for yourself when the shit hits the fan. It's all part of the process of coming to terms. Looking on the bright side is great when you're stuck in traffic, missing your keys, spilling chocolate ice cream on a pale blouse, etc., and I think that's where the cult started, but now we've hit a point where being upset about anything, even things that, under the rules of common sense, require some tears and maybe a few f-bombs.

I've been through some great learning experiences, but when's all said and done, some of those great learning experiences still sucked hairy ass and I still get distressed when I think about them too much.

All that aside, maintaining a strong will to live has been shown to raise your chance of a favorable outcome in the case of severe illness of injury. I'm not sure that translates into a permanent happy face though.

_________________

"He attacks. And here I can kill him. But I don't. That's the answer to world peace, people."
-Stickles Shihan


Top
Profile Quote
MariaHobbit
Post subject:
Posted: Mon 08 May , 2006 2:05 pm
User avatar
Offline
 
Posts: 8041
Joined: Thu 03 Feb , 2005 2:39 pm
Location: MO
 
River wrote:
All that aside, maintaining a strong will to live has been shown to raise your chance of a favorable outcome in the case of severe illness of injury. I'm not sure that translates into a permanent happy face though.
From what I've read in Bernie Siegel's books (he's a cancer surgeon) the patients that do best aren't the most cheerful ones, nor the most "accepting" of their fate. It's the ornery, cantankerous patients that take charge of their own treatment. The ones that argue with their doctors and nurses. It's the "difficult" patients who are the ones who tend to beat the odds. So he says, anyway. :shrug:

_________________


.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

[ img ]


Top
Profile Quote
Riverthalos
Post subject:
Posted: Mon 08 May , 2006 3:29 pm
bioalchemist
Offline
 
Posts: 5205
Joined: Wed 16 Mar , 2005 2:10 am
Location: at a safe distance
 
I met some very cantakerous, feisty, pised-off patients while volunteering. They had a pretty strong will to live. On their terms no less.

_________________

"He attacks. And here I can kill him. But I don't. That's the answer to world peace, people."
-Stickles Shihan


Top
Profile Quote
Display: Sort by: Direction:
Post Reply   Page 1 of 1  [ 13 posts ]
Return to “The Symposium”
Jump to: