How apt. How serendipitous! If anyone can wade through the following, advice would be appreciated.
One of my grandsons now attends a private Christian middle school. This was his choice, not mine, and while we pointed out to him that he was going to have to take Bible study, he's finding that it is more than he was prepared for. Today he had to hand in a paragraph containing 10 "points" about the Bible. According to him he was supposed to say whether the Bible "is true or not". Unfortunately I was out last night and so I couldn't help him get this sorted out until this morning and we were caught up in the usual getting ready for school rush, etc., but it was, nonetheless, illuminating.
Now, let me begin by saying that while it is obvious to anyone who has read my posts that I am not a Christian, I don't go around trumpeting my lack of belief to my grandchildren or telling them that Christianity is all crap, etc. When T first asked if he could go to this school I said something like, "You know, grandpa and I aren't Christians, but we are respectful of the beliefs of the people who run MEI and if you go there, you have to be respectful, too. You can say to your Bible teacher that you are not a believer, but you can't say 'it's all bs'." He was cool with that at the time, but today I find *sigh* that it's just not that simple. He's 12, not 42, and while we can say, "We told you so", what would be the use of that? What I want to be able to get him to understand is that it won't hurt him to learn about the Bible, or to memorize Bible verses, etc. If he is pressured to convert, I suppose that's a different thing, but so far, that's not the issue, and it may never be the issue.
He said he didn't want to say the Bible wasn't true, because then he'd get flak from the teacher. I said, "T, if you think the Bible isn't true you can say that, but you see, your teacher wants 10 points on the subject and you have no points, you're just saying you don't think it's true."
"Well, it isn't, " he said.
And I said, "Why do you think that"?
He got all upset. "It's just all bs," he said.
And I said, "But T, you have to have reasons for saying that. How do you know that?"
This was going nowhere, and he was getting more and more upset, so I tried to find out WHY he was so upset.
We got the Bible out and I said, "I think this is the most important book in Western civilization."
And he said, "It's all crap. That's not true, that it's the most important book."
So I said, "Why do you say that? Do you think Grandma would lie to you? It IS the most important. I'm not saying to you that I believe it to be the word of God, but it is the most important book in Western civilization, and you can use that as one of your 'points'."
If you guys could have seen the look on his face!!! Accusatory, angry, condemnatory, disgusted . . .
So I went on to say that I think it is a history book containing much true history and some not so true. That the laws of the Bible were some of the earliest written down, showing how people could live together in peace and respecting each other. (More savage looks!)
In the end he got about 7 "points", roughly scratched down by a very angry boy. He says he won't get full marks for it since it's not neat and in paragraph form, and I guess that's true, but the issue for me is: is a 12 year old boy capable of studying the Bible under these conditions? He says he doesn't believe in God, but he can't really say why, of course. He's just repeating what he hears from others. When he asked me, I said I didn't, but we had what I thought at the time was a long and thoughtful discussion on the subject; where I said I had come to this conclusion over many years and that while I wasn't a believer I know many people who are; they aren't "nutbars" or "retards", but friends who have different beliefs.
Many of his friends are Christians, if a 12 year old can really be a committed, understanding Christian. (I don't say that to him, you understand, but I am not at all convinced that any child of 12 can really understand ONE WAY or the other about religion.) It was to stay with these friends that he wanted to go to this school and while we had misgivings, we believe it's important for a kid to like his school and be with the friends who are important to him. More than that, they are a nice bunch of kids and we know their families, etc., so we agreed to send him to this school. His "best friend" however, is not a Christian, is 15, and goes to a different school. I suspect this is the source of the contempt and disgust, but that's a whole other thing. The kid is a good kid, but he's older and more sophisticated and outspoken, etc., and has a lot of influence on T. But T has to learn to think for himself, and at 12 that's not always easy.
So we share the driving with another family and this week it's my turn to drive. The girl we take with us is one of T's friends. I brought up the conversation about this homework, but it turned out that her Bible class had different homework. Taylor said to her, "Are you a Christian?" and she said, "Yes," but the conversation went no further because we were at the gates of the school.
*sighs again*
I like this school very much. It is, in most ways, an excellent school. The teachers are a great bunch, enthusiastic. It has a terrific sports program.
But.
Are we being realistic here? Am I expecting too much when I hope that T can learn to accept Bible study as "just another subject" and deal with it as he deals with Math or French? If he should decide to become a Christian, I'm fine with that. I don't want him "pressured", though. I don't think that's right. But I also don't think that's the issue here.
Anyway, that's enough. Any thoughts?