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The Megan Meier Suicide: A Case Crying for Justice

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LalaithUrwen
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Posted: Tue 04 Dec , 2007 3:34 pm
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Well, the whole situation is sad. I'm disappointed that they couldn't hold this other mom at least partially responsible somehow. I wonder if Megan's parents will sue her.

Sure, there could've been all kinds of contributing factors, but we know that this major incident occurred and then she killed herself. One is directly related to the other, even if there were other outside factors. It would be hard to charge the mom with negligent homicide or something, but it would've been nice to see some kind of judicial retribution for her despicable behavior.

And if Megan was battling depression at this young age (even younger) that says to me that she is one who either has a serious chemical imbalance (not her parents' fault, unless you count genetics) or she suffered some serious childhood abuse (no indications of that yet). I'm really uncomfortable blaming the parents in this case. My gosh, my heart breaks just thinking how much guilt her mom must already carry around. :(


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vison
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Posted: Tue 04 Dec , 2007 3:36 pm
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You missed my point, 10ft. I didn't express it very well. And a lot of people disagree with me, anyway.

A 13 year old girl should not have been on any such website. 13 year old girls are difficult creatures. I simply fail to understand why anyone would let a kid that age be involved in an online "relationship", and particularly when her parents knew she was having difficulties to the point that they had changed her schools.

The adults in this child's life "failed" her. I don't think the online thing was the sole reason for her suicide and you are absolutely right that she likely didn't tell her parents everything that was going on in her life. But regardless of that, look at the importance her own mother gave this!!! Thrilled that her daughter had a boyfriend! An invisible, made-up one, as it turned out, but there were other bad outcomes possible.

But there is osne "risk factor" that can be kept away from kids, and that is these ridiculous online friendship groups or whatever they call them.

As for the other mother, I think it's too bad you can't burn people at the stake any more.

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MariaHobbit
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Posted: Tue 04 Dec , 2007 3:53 pm
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vison wrote:
As for the other mother, I think it's too bad you can't burn people at the stake any more.
I'm still voting for tar & feathers, which is a tad more cruel than I thought it was, according to wikipedia:
wikipedia wrote:
TARRED AND FEATHERED AND RIDDEN OUT OF TOWN ON A RAIL - "At Salem, on September 7, 1768, an informer named Robert Wood 'was stripped, tarred and feathered and placed on a hogshead under the Tree of Liberty on the Common.' This is the first record of the term 'tarred and feathered' in America. Tarring and feathering was a cruel punishment where hot pine tar was applied from head to toe on a person and goose feathers were stuck into the tar. The person was then ignited and ridden out of town on a rail (tied to a splintery rail), beaten with sticks and stoned all the while. A man's skin often came off when he removed the tar. It was a common practice to tar and feather Tories who refused to join the revolutionary cause, one much associated with the Liberty Boys, but the practice was known here long before the Revolution. In fact, it dates back even before the first English record of tarring and feathering, an 1189 statute made under Richard the Lionhearted directing that any thief voyaging with the Crusaders 'shal have his head shorne and boyling pitch poured upon his head, and feathers or downe strewn upon the same, whereby he may be known, and so at the first landing place they shal come to, there to be cast up.' Though few have been tarred and feathered or ridden out of town on a rail in recent years, the expression remains to describe anyone subjected to indignity and infamy." From "Encyclopedia of Word and Phrase Origins" by Robert Hendrickson (Facts on File, New York, 1997).

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Jude
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Posted: Tue 04 Dec , 2007 4:01 pm
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I wouldn't support either of those punishments. I had hoped that our society had moved beyond such barbarisms.

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tinwe
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Posted: Tue 04 Dec , 2007 4:23 pm
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There’s always drawn and quartered, although part of the process would be impossible for a woman.

And if you can get out to sea, keelhauling might be an option.

No, I'm not being serious, no matter how much someone might deserve it

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LalaithUrwen
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Posted: Tue 04 Dec , 2007 5:04 pm
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vison
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Posted: Tue 04 Dec , 2007 5:15 pm
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I wouldn't burn anyone at the stake for real. I agree with Jude. Tarred and feathered was never a light punishment! Those were merely imaginative ways of putting people to death, that's all.

But the trouble with people like the woman who victimized Meagan, is they have no conscience. They are sociopaths or even psychopaths, and god help anyone who gets in their way. She will not be lying awake at night tormented by guilt, but Meagan's poor mother will. For the rest of her life.

I don't mean to be too harsh to Meagan's poor mother. She would feel guilty no matter what! But I just hope that people take a lesson from her agony. It confirmed my conviction that my boys don't need to be involved in these friendship groups and when they ask, no doubt they will ask again as time goes by, I will remember Meagan and say no again.

It's hard to say no to kids sometimes. You want them to be "happy" and "fit in", but in the end, it's a parent's job to be firm and protective.

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The Watcher
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Posted: Wed 05 Dec , 2007 12:53 am
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MariaHobbit wrote:
Even mentally stable, *good* teens don't tell *good* parents everything, now that my 20 year old is telling me some of the stuff she did as a teen. :neutral:
And it is exactly that!! Teens do not want their parents as friends for the most part, in fact, the privacy of a teen is something that is inviolate to said teen, I remember acting much the same way when I felt friendless and super obsessed with why I did not fit in at exactly those same ages, and even when I outgrew it, I resented my parents horribly for intruding on my privacy, which I will say that they did fairly and mostly quite mildly. My parents in NO way ever contributed to my sense of not fitting in or depression, it was just a part of my psyche and growing up all gawky and awkward and being labeled a nerd when that was the least desirable label out there for me, maybe because in my heart I was never truly one. Yes, my mother and grandmother suffered from depression, but not the chronic types, just the normal "life is sort of overwhelming you at the moment and you are trying your best to deal with it" types. the two times I got treated for it, that was my diagnosis as well, I could not let go, I felt guilt about everything, and I had this huge need to feel like I was in charge and calling the shots, which was far from the case, and when I say this, it was only about my own life, not controlling others or anything else.

All I can say is that Tina Meier has been most forthcoming, she will feel the personal gult and hurt for every day for the rest of her life, so will Ron Meier, and their pretty daughter who was only just starting to try and figure out who she was and what she wanted to be and to just feel accepted will never have that chance. Yes, there is a chance Megan would have done the same thing to herself if no one had ganged up on her on a made up MySpace account, if she had not been insulted and personally wounded by comments that she was already all too vulnerable to be reading and dealing with, Tina and Ron Meier relive the what ifs every day.

Lori Drew, on the other hand, knew that Megan WAS depressed, knew what actions were taking place on the Myspace account even if she herself was not making the comments, and then tried to hide every other persons's involvement, including her own child and an 18 year old employee. Should she and her family be social pariahs? YES. I guess I am so caught up in this case because it is bad enough when real life peers cut you to the quick, but to have "made up" ones do it all in the guise of a deliberate false friendship simply sickens me, especially since the person behind it was still Lori Drew. Someone her age simply should have known better and have stepped in from the get go when the issues arose between her daughter and Megan, instead of thinking ths "cloak and dagger" mentality would be good revenge.

Yes, Lori, it worked fantastically. What are you going to do now to deal with your own daughter? Now that she is also a social pariah, how do you, Lori, deal with that small outcome? Everyone knows pretty much where the hateful messages came from, so, how do you as a parent step up to the plate? Hide your face, ignore the press?

To be honest, this whole case disturbs me so much that I think I should not comment further either. Let us just say that I certainly do not blame either Tina or Ron Meier, except for giving in to the pleas of their oldest child to simply be allowed to try and fit in.No it did not work out, but it was not for lack of parental concern or trying to keep up with it for their daughter's sake.

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MariaHobbit
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Posted: Wed 05 Dec , 2007 3:48 pm
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I don't really support actual tar and feathers, as stated in the wikipedia. :sick: That's just really horrific. Cold tar, feathers and kicking them out of town naked during a ice storm would be about right, I think.

Nooooo.... I guess not that, either. A lawsuit that costs them everything they own, maybe...

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Ara-anna
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Posted: Wed 05 Dec , 2007 3:59 pm
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Oh and Lori Drew had her attorney on the Today show yesterday, and who did Lori blame....the 18 year old employee, the other kids involved, but she did not step up at all. In fact she recanted her story about knowing that Megan was unstable and said that she had no idea that Megan was unstable. The Meier’s said she knew and that she had given Megan her meds during a vacation that Megan attended with the Drews.

The whole not taking any responsibility and back peddling from Lori Drew said everything to me, she is now trying to cover her own ass at the expense of others and most likely her own daughter. Of course she is going to say she had nothing to do with it....and the prisons are full of innocent people too.

The Meier’s have divorced and have had other issues happen since Megans death. The story Mrs. Meier’s has told is that she told Megan to get off the net right after she received the 'world would be a better place with you in it' message, but had to take another daughter to the orthodontist. Megan had told her mother she was off the net and didn't want to go with her and her sister to the orthodontist. According to the Mrs. Meier she felt Megan should have come with her to the orthodontist but Megan wanted to stay home, and that she left Megan because Mr. Meier was on his way home. Mr. Meier came home at or around the same time that Mrs. Meier left the house and he found Megan in her closet. From my understanding it was about short amount time between the time Mrs. Meier told Megan to get off the net and Mr. Meier finding her.

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vison
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Posted: Wed 05 Dec , 2007 5:56 pm
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Why would this woman go on TV? I just don't get it. Poisonous cow.

As for the poor Meiers, they are never going to be happy again.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not "blaming" them. They did their best according to their lights --- but it is their lights I disagree with.

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Ara-anna
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Posted: Wed 05 Dec , 2007 6:23 pm
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she sent her lawyer on TV to say she didn't know anything about any of it basically. I was huh...the computers used were in her house and her business....and she told the 18 year old employee, daughter and daughters friends to help with the harrassment, yet she had nothing to do with it.

And I don't let my kids on the net unless I am home and they are 17. And its for completely different reasons...my son is a 17 year old kid and I don't need tons of free porn downloaded ;)

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10FTTALL
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Posted: Thu 06 Dec , 2007 1:28 am
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Why did she go on TV? Well, there are thousands of bloggers and readers that have been convinced that she actually should be tarred and feathered. There are dozens of people who advocate charging her with a capital crime, and dozens who have advocated stalking her residence and terrorizing her family. All for something she did which, regarding intent, was probably the same as eavsdroping, or diary reading to check on what people were saying about her daughter. She wanted people to know she didn't send any mean messages herself, which is a big deal. We can Monday morning quarterback and 20/20 hindsight all day, but only in your imaginations can any of you prove she had knowledge of the mean messages, or that she was trying to lead Megan on. If Mrs. Drew needed help to set up the account, then the girl that helped her knew the sign in. It is said that the tone changed, so it's pretty clear to me that the younger girls decided to mess with Megan by logging in. Say what you wil about things happening in her house or business, but unless I'm sitting beside someone, I couldn't tell you what they're doing on a computer. Maybe some of you are different and have special abilities.

The only person to blame is Megan. I may have missed it, but the worst "mental problems" I can find her diagnosed with is ADHD. Without starting a seperate topic, I'll just say that ADHD is not really high up on the chain of mental disorders, and a certain percentage of victims are tenuously diagnosed just because they are assholes. I don't think there's anything to make us believe Megan's true fragility was known to anyone, let alone, Mrs Drew.

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vison
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Posted: Thu 06 Dec , 2007 2:03 am
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Sure thing.

I think I'd like to hear your point of view when your children are, say, 30.

Just sayin'.

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10FTTALL
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Posted: Thu 06 Dec , 2007 2:19 am
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I really do respect other opinions about this opinionated topic, but what you wrote leaves me very confused about what you disagree with; or why it would change after my kids are grown. I'm pretty sure I'll feel the same, I won't be looking for people to blame if they do something stupid. And if, God forbid, they have mental problems, I will certainly not let them lie to participate in whatever anonymous social web gatherings that are en vogue.

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TheEllipticalDisillusion
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Posted: Thu 06 Dec , 2007 2:55 am
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The worst disorder you can diagnose? What are your credentials to diagnose mental disorders, 10fttall?

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10FTTALL
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I wrote:
but the worst "mental problems" I can find her diagnosed with is ADHD.
No, read carefully: the worst I could find. I read several stories found on a Google News search. In other words I couldn't swear to the authenticity of the statement, and I quite possibly could be wrong, but I hear about "mental illness" and "depresion" and it seems they are talking about her being medicated for ADHD. If somebody knows of a diagnosis of something more serious, I'd be very interested to know about it. I know plenty of people with ADHD that have experienced rejection and dissapointments, and yet, somehow, they managed to refrain from killing themselves. I'm just saying that the school of thought that "Lori Drew should've known that starting a Myspace account would result in Megan killing herself," is wrong. From what I've seen, Megan's diagnosed condition was not one where people would think, gee if I piss her off then, bang, that's going to be all for her.

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TheEllipticalDisillusion
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Posted: Thu 06 Dec , 2007 5:32 am
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Are those people you know also thirteen?

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10FTTALL
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Actually, yes, I know at least 2 that are currently 13. What is your point? Are you saying that thousands of 13 year olds with ADHD are killing themselves, but you just think think I don't know about it?

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TheEllipticalDisillusion
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I'm not saying anything. I was just doubtful of your opinion. Is that not allowed?
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but you just think think I don't know about it?
I am skeptical about people who fail to offer any kind of credentials (i.e. medical doctor, psychologist psychiatrist), who make statements about what they would diagnose.

As I see it, regardless of whether the thought of the girl's suicide went through Lori Drew's mind, she is a still a heartless piece of shit and quite frankly deserves all of the negative press that her actions have thrust upon her. It isn't a matter of knowing that a myspace account would kill a little girl, but knowing that messing with the mind of one much younger and inexperienced than her is irresponsible and not the kind of actions an adult should engage in.
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but only in your imaginations can any of you prove she had knowledge of the mean messages, or that she was trying to lead Megan on.
She isn't intelligent enough to know that she was leading on a 13 year old by sending messages from a myspace account that was not her and was pretending to be someone else? Sad.

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