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I can find more worthy themes to be depressed by. Isn't it moderately common that attractive young women marry old millionnaires? It's the way of the world. I doubt if either party to the agreement want or expect any emotional bond from this.

I find that sad as well, Tosh.

I guess I'm just pragmatic about it.

One night later (or more realistically, 2 minutes later), and this girl will be set for life. Her children will be set for life if she plans right.

I would do it, and for much less. *shrug*

And I don't think I value my own virginity/sexuality any less than anyone.

I'm pretty sure I can't add anything else to the conversation without sounding (more?) self-righteous.

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Virginity isn't something to be auctioned off (nor is it something to get drunk and lose to a stranger, but I know it does happen). True, first times aren't going to be that great, but they're supposed to be somewhat special.

Clearly it is something to be auctioned off. Call me a cynic, but I don't agree with the romanticized notion of the first time. For some, the first time has to be special because they believe that virginity is special. It isn't. For others, the first time is the hump you must get over to cross into a world of fun.

My first time sucked. It was not special. It wasn't traumatic, but it sucked. There was bleeding, there was pain. I was surprised by the bleeding. I thought that wouldn't happen to me. $3.7 million would certainly have sweetened that deal on my end of things.

She's trading something she has for a lifetime of security. Women have been doing this for centuries. What's got everyone shaking their heads is how blatant she's being about it.

I lost my virginity to a stranger while drunk. So I guess that makes me not as special or something, eh. Nah, I don't regret it. I'm just glad I got it over with. Easier to be able to enjoy sex, I think, now that I don't have to worry about whether or not the first time will be any good. I'm happy for anyone who saves their first sexual experience for a spouse, or serious significant other, or someone they have fallen in love with. But it doesn't have to be that way for everyone. I don't think I ever would have done what this girl did, but it was her choice. I made my own choice. We all make our own choices. I realize that some may look down on me for my choice, but hey, ya can't please everyone.

So, while I doubt that I personally would have done what this girl did, I certainly can't blame her...nor do I judge her. As others have said, I think it's kind of ridiculous that some guy would be willing to pay so much just to pop some random girl's cherry. But so much the better for her, I guess, that she has all this money. There are much worse things a person can do to earn $3.7 mil.

I guess my feeling is that just because women have been doing this for centuries doesn't make it any less sad or wrong. (And I mean "wrong" here in the sense of not so much morally wrong as cosmically wrong. Or human rights kind of wrong.) It wasn't any better when noblewomen had to do it throughout the ages to secure kingdoms, make treaties, or whatever. It was sad then--for sex to be a commodity--and I think it's sad now.

Of course, I have a very Christian view of sex. It's something glorious (in its ideal state), created by God for men and women to share as part of their married life. It's symbolic of the relationship we have with God. (That's the abbreviated version.)

Whether you agree with that or not, I think that should make it clear why this whole thing makes me sad. Sex is a Big Deal to me.

And I don't wish this lady any ill will.

ETA: Nor do I think any less of anyone else who has a different view of this whole thing. We simply disagree. It's not a sanctimonious thing.


Lali

My first instinct to never post in the thread was correct as my words have apparently been misinterpreted by everyone.

ETA: What Lali said last.

Normally US prices are cheaper than in the UK. The going rate there is five double barcardi and cokes.

*Happy not to have paid out USD 7.4m in my lifetime*

My first experience wasn't that special at all. It was, in fact, a spectacular failure. I didn't get hurt (thanks bike riding ) but my boyfriend did, lol and it only lasted all of two minutes in which neither of us got any satisfaction. Oh, and it was my idea. On the other hand, my boyfriend at the time was a really great guy, and even if the experience itself wasn't amazing, I can't think of another way or another person that I would've wanted to have the experience with.

As for the value people place on virginity - my boyfriend a few years later (the asshole jerk one) couldn't stand the fact that he wasn't my first... or my second. The fact that he was my fifth bugged the hell out of him, and he constantly tried to make me feel guilty about it. I never did. Other than him and what happened to me when I was fifteen, I've thoroughly enjoyed pretty much all of my sexual experiences.

So long as this girl enjoys herself, does it the way she wants to do it, and doesn't allow anyone to ever cause her to feel guilty and ashamed of how she went about it, I don't see the problem. Nobody is forcing the decision to do this on her, nor is she forcing the idea on anyone else. Anyone trying to force their morals on her... well, we all know morals are relative. Unless it's a moral issue that causes actual hurt to a person outside of herself, she should be left to do what she wishes to do with her own body.

It is her body after all.

No harm, no foul.

Oh, I don't pass any judgment on the girl. Not at all. It's certainly not something *I* would choose to do, but it doesn't seem as if she is being coerced or forced and she is going about it in a safe and legal way.

My amazement is reserved for the MEN who would pay this ridiculous amount of money so that they could be "the first" with a TOTAL STRANGER.

Estel, while I think your asshole jerk boyfriend was way out of line in his resentment, I can understand the "specialness" factor of having your first time be with someone you care for and who cares about you. (My first time was also my boyfriend's first time - neither of us knew what we were doing, the whole thing lasted less than 2 minutes and we never did get very good at it; we were young and quite innocent and having intercourse just never got to be a habit. But we really loved each other and so it was all fine...)

Ahem. But what is the attraction of being "the first" with someone you don't even know, and likely won't see again, ever? Why is that worth several MILLION dollars? And who pays that kind of money? What kind of mind-set does the guy have, honestly?

Maybe the men in here can shed some light on the question.

Dawnnamira wrote:

My first instinct to never post in the thread was correct as my words have apparently been misinterpreted by everyone.

Not by me. Don't sweat it, hon.

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ETA: What Lali said last.

Jewel, the story reminds me of something I watched on Channel 4 a couple of years ago. (It would be Channel 4. ) About a woman in her mid-forties who was a committed Christian and still a virgin and basically ... just pretty fed up with that state of affairs. So she paid for a male escort to deflower her. And emerged a satisfied customer.

Which, you know, I don't judge her for. I just felt really sad that she felt that was the only way out for her: I mean, it was safe and legal, the way she went about it but it was just soul-less.

But what I found truly bizarre was this woman's apparent need to tell her story on national television. Not that she was getting millions of pounds for it or anything. But I mean, here's the thing. Here is someone totally fed up and frustrated and embarrassed about still being a virgin at age 42 or whatever ... so she decides to do something about it. OK, I understand that. What I don't understand is the decision is to then share this extremely intimate decision with millions of viewers.

Maybe because I'm a very private person and the thought of divulging stuff about my private life on national TV would be complete anethaema to me. Clearly it isn't to other people ...

P.S. I must make it clear that the actual encounter wasn't filmed.

Ok, I made plain that what the girl does hasn't concerned me in the least. Indeed, good luck to her. On the other hand, any bloke who enters into this bargain (no, you dirty minded lot I didn't mean that) is seriously creepy.

I do wonder how much envy plays into this story. Lets face it, this woman is getting a fortune for what most people give away for free. She is going to end up with more money that most wage earners make in a career. It sounds pretty shrewd to me.

Di of Long Cleeve wrote:

...About a woman in her mid-forties who was a committed Christian and still a virgin and basically ... just pretty fed up with that state of affairs. So she paid for a male escort to deflower her. And emerged a satisfied customer.

Well, you know, I can understand this completely. I mean, there are times when one might feel (virgin or not) that it's been a DAMN long time since ANYTHING and could I just get LAID already? And one would think (or hope) that said male escort knew what he was doing and since you were paying, you'd be assured of getting a pleasant and satisfactory experience.

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: I mean, it was safe and legal, the way she went about it but it was just soul-less.

Yeah, but one can have a willful suspension of disbelief. Like going to the theatre, almost. Maybe what she wanted wasn't readily available and she felt that this way, it would at least be...well...not a total, inept disaster.

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What I don't understand is the decision is to then share this extremely intimate decision with millions of viewers

People seem to love to air their dirty laundry in public. Witness the Jerry Springer show, etc. She likely got paid something for her appearance. Now someone will offer her a book deal or a made-for-TV movie. And people eat this kind of thing right up. If they didn't, no one would go on TV to tell their own, lurid story.

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P.S. I must make it clear that the actual encounter wasn't filmed

.

Oh, I'm sure that's not far off. A REALITY show in which people lose their virginity in a variety of interesting and entertaining ways. Mark my words...it'll happen. And people will WATCH it.

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But what is the attraction of being "the first" with someone you don't even know, and likely won't see again, ever?

Not having that particular impulse I can't really say but my impression is that this is in a way a remnant of animal instinct in us. Sexuality in general seems a part of our lives where we go on animal instinct a whole lot and I for one say there's nothing wrong with that. This is who we are as a species and I don't think it does any good to fight our selves. If I were the one designing us I might've made some different choices but overall I still think we're pretty cool.

That said.....this guy's an idiot.

Jewel, my asshole jerk boyfriend was more than an asshole jerk in just this. That's a person who I regret ever having sex with, when it was willing, and when it wasn't. Sometimes I think that if I hadn't had taken his virginity in the first place, I wouldn't have been an unwilling participant in sex with him later on.

There's a difference between it being special, and it being put on a pedestal. The latter is, in my mind, actually quite dangerous.

Estel wrote:

There's a difference between it being special, and it being put on a pedestal. The latter is, in my mind, actually quite dangerous.

Totally agree.

Yov, in the past, the reason a bride was supposed to be virgin on her wedding night was that was the ONLY way the husband could be sure any offspring resulting from the subsequent intercourse were his. And going further back (to the "animal instincts") I suppose that it's basically the same idea. Have sex with a virgin and you are assured that the seed spread is yours - no one got there before you. It's all about propagation and increasing your line.

Now it's about something else. But I'm not sure what.

I think it's about being first. Guys can get hung up on the damnedest things (so can girls, for that matter). Also, virgins are less likely to have STDs. And there might be a power thing involved as well.