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Family Radio predicts Rapture: 21 May 2011

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Jonny
Post subject: Re: Family Radio predicts Rapture: 21 May 2011
Posted: Sun 08 May , 2011 9:39 pm
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Elsha, start prayin. NOW.

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“And the ship went out into the High Sea and passed into the West, until at last on a night of rain Frodo smelled a sweet fragrance on the air and heard the sound of singing that came over the water. And then it seemed to him that as in his dream in the house of Bombadil, the grey rain-curtain turned all to silver glass and was rolled back, and he beheld white shores and beyond them a far green country under a swift sunrise.”


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Riverthalos
Post subject: Re: Family Radio predicts Rapture: 21 May 2011
Posted: Wed 11 May , 2011 3:44 pm
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Are you certified?
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re you ready for the Rapture? It could come any day now and getrapturecertified.com wants you to be ready. Tending your spiritual garden, holding vigilant against false prophets, and avoiding homosexuality are givens for anyone hoping to make the big leap on Judgment Day. Less obvious, however, is the possibility that even if you do all those things and accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, you still may get left behind.

That's where we come in. The theologians at getrapturecertified.com have developed the only afterlife credentialing program that guarantees that if you successfully run the gauntlet of our rigorous certification process you will go to Heaven when the Rapture comes or your money back. Plus 25 percent of the purchase price. Try getting one of our competitors to match that offer. They can't.

So browse our site, learn what we can do for your soul, and, when you're ready, take the Rapture Certification test to earn your very own official Rapture Certificate.
So wrong. And so funny.

The test is ridiculous. I passed, BTW. :damnfunny: :damnfunny:

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Jonny
Post subject: Re: Family Radio predicts Rapture: 21 May 2011
Posted: Wed 11 May , 2011 3:53 pm
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:damnfunny: Love it!

That reminds me of a similar website I once ran across. It was a service that looked after your pets once you got raptured. It was "guaranteed run by Athiests" so that you could be sure they would be left behind to look after your beloved cats and dogs :)

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“And the ship went out into the High Sea and passed into the West, until at last on a night of rain Frodo smelled a sweet fragrance on the air and heard the sound of singing that came over the water. And then it seemed to him that as in his dream in the house of Bombadil, the grey rain-curtain turned all to silver glass and was rolled back, and he beheld white shores and beyond them a far green country under a swift sunrise.”


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MariaHobbit
Post subject: Re: Family Radio predicts Rapture: 21 May 2011
Posted: Wed 11 May , 2011 3:54 pm
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Google "post rapture pet care" and "rapture pet sitting" . Those are quite amusing.

http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/
Quote:
Notice of Rate Increase: Due to the increased activity associated with the May 21, 2011 Rapture prophesy we have increased our service rates for all new contracts submitted as of 1/13/11.
That's quite an industry out there. So many sites devoted to post rapture pet care offers. :nono: Just send them a wad of cash, and your pet will be rescued!

edit: crossposted with Jonny. There are a lot more companies out there now! It's a big worry for people who expect to get raptured, apparently.


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LalaithUrwen
Post subject: Re: Family Radio predicts Rapture: 21 May 2011
Posted: Wed 11 May , 2011 4:51 pm
The Grey Amaretto as Supermega-awesome Proud Heretic Girl
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Heeey. I don't speak Latin, per se (ha!), but I don't think this on the certificate (which I earned with a 100%, btw <smug> )means anything nice:

Insania Diplomatis

:suspicious:

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MariaHobbit
Post subject: Re: Family Radio predicts Rapture: 21 May 2011
Posted: Wed 11 May , 2011 6:30 pm
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I couldn't get past question one. I can't honestly pick either choice, so I can't move on in the test. :roll:

They oughta have an option, "I worship nothing".

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LalaithUrwen
Post subject: Re: Family Radio predicts Rapture: 21 May 2011
Posted: Wed 11 May , 2011 6:35 pm
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Ah, but I think everybody worships something. I do think that's true. You may not phrase it as worship, though.

One definition of worship is "adoring reverence or regard."

Some people adore themselves, their families, their spouses, their jobs, money, God, Satan, nature, academia, food, etc. The list is endless really.

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Jude
Post subject: Re: Family Radio predicts Rapture: 21 May 2011
Posted: Wed 11 May , 2011 7:22 pm
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But the question presents a false dichotomy of either God or Satan, which is nonsense. I couldn't do the test either.

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MariaHobbit
Post subject: Re: Family Radio predicts Rapture: 21 May 2011
Posted: Wed 11 May , 2011 7:32 pm
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Worship has an element of obeisance to it that isn't matched by just loving or admiring something or someone. I really don't think anything I do in my life can honestly be described by the word "worship". I'm not an atheist anymore, but if there is a higher power running this reality.... well, I haven't seen anything that indicates such an entity wishes to be worshipped or even acknowledged. :shrug: So, I don't.

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Riverthalos
Post subject: Re: Family Radio predicts Rapture: 21 May 2011
Posted: Wed 11 May , 2011 8:04 pm
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It's too bad you guys can't just lie your way past question one 'cuz what follows is absolutely hilarious...especially the one about who Jesus is. :LMAO: :LMAO: :LMAO:

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LalaithUrwen
Post subject: Re: Family Radio predicts Rapture: 21 May 2011
Posted: Wed 11 May , 2011 9:12 pm
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That one was funny, as well as the question about the 80s sitcom star.


I'm sorry, though, that I don't have any brain cells for a philosophical discussion on worshiping things. :(

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vison
Post subject: Re: Family Radio predicts Rapture: 21 May 2011
Posted: Wed 11 May , 2011 10:29 pm
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I thought they were taking the mickey, actually.

Definitely taking the mickey. :cool:

Last edited by vison on Wed 11 May , 2011 10:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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vison
Post subject: Re: Family Radio predicts Rapture: 21 May 2011
Posted: Wed 11 May , 2011 10:54 pm
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LalaithUrwen wrote:
Ah, but I think everybody worships something. I do think that's true. You may not phrase it as worship, though.

One definition of worship is "adoring reverence or regard."

Some people adore themselves, their families, their spouses, their jobs, money, God, Satan, nature, academia, food, etc. The list is endless really.
I don't "worship" anything. There are people and things I love, but "worship"? Nope. Not even "adore". Love is the word.

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LalaithUrwen
Post subject: Re: Family Radio predicts Rapture: 21 May 2011
Posted: Thu 12 May , 2011 1:34 am
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If you say so. Like I said, I don't have the energy for a deep discussion. I stand by my opinion, though.

Of course, we all know what personal opinions are worth, so there you go.

:toast:

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vison
Post subject: Re: Family Radio predicts Rapture: 21 May 2011
Posted: Thu 12 May , 2011 2:37 am
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Well, you did explain the royal teeth. :P

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LalaithUrwen
Post subject: Re: Family Radio predicts Rapture: 21 May 2011
Posted: Thu 12 May , 2011 3:03 am
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True.

Even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while.

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vison
Post subject: Re: Family Radio predicts Rapture: 21 May 2011
Posted: Thu 12 May , 2011 3:45 am
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lol

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Jude
Post subject: Re: Family Radio predicts Rapture: 21 May 2011
Posted: Sat 14 May , 2011 11:28 am
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A more accurate prediction from The Daily What:

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Crucifer
Post subject: Re: Family Radio predicts Rapture: 21 May 2011
Posted: Sat 14 May , 2011 4:34 pm
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Love that, Jude!

I couldn't get past the first question in that test either, but I chose Satan for the lolz. Question 2 is hilarious!

On the worship thing, I guess you could say I worship music, in the way that many people worship a deity. But I don't worship a person (or personification)...

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Dave_LF
Post subject: Re: Family Radio predicts Rapture: 21 May 2011
Posted: Tue 17 May , 2011 1:31 pm
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Jude wrote:
A more accurate prediction from The Daily What:

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It may take 5 billion more years to actually supernova, but it will heat up enough to ruin life on Earth long before that--low estimates give us less than 1 billion :neutral: .


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