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Sunsilver, I don't really know you so I hope you don't think I'm intruding. I'd just like to add my condolences and to let you know that for whatever it's worth, I'm thinking of you.

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Wishing you all the strength you need to get through the tough times ahead.

I chose to be absent here for awhile and missed this very sad news until now.

Sunsilver, dear Jane, my thoughts are with you. I wish you strength and love and comfort. You have shown such grace in the face of loss. My sincerest condolences and in the words of my tradition - may her memory be a blessing to you.

For some reason, Impenitent, I find the words of your tradition very moving. Thank you.

And thank you everyone for you condolences. Right now, I'm too busy to feel very much pain, though I did cry last night when I went to the old house, and began to take apart our big queen-sized bed in preparation for the movers. Those tears were mostly for the one I shared that bed with, though. I hugged his pillow to me, and wept and wept, raging at God, remembering all those nights of sleeping with one eye open, because Roger tended to get up at night, and wander, and he had trouble managing the stairs after having the stroke. He also often needed help changing (the bladder cancer made him incontinent, of course.) Fortunately, my mom was spared that indignity.

Just to add to the stress today, the mover stood me up. He was trying to reach me on my cell phone last night, but I never though to check for messages. (I normally use the cell phone mainly for work, and anyone who knows me usually leaves a message on my home phone as well as the cell, as I leave the phone in the car at all times. When he couldn't get through to me to confirm, he scheduled another customer into the time slot. I was quite upset at first, but once I understood that he did not have my home phone number (either old or new), I forgave him. We rebooked the move for the 31st, which will give me a few more days to get things organized here, which is not such a bad thing.

Anyway, a carpenter is coming at 8 am tomorrow to fix one of my kitchen cabinets, and I still have an eulogy to write, so I'd better sign off and go to bed.

Some good news: my geriatric German Shepherd is home, her lipase levels are normal, and the diarrhea is cured. She's not quite her spunky self yet, but being starved for five days will probably make any dog lethargic. She was skinny before, and now is nearly emaciated. I hope I can get some weight back on her soon.

The bad news? The vet bill came to nearly 3 times the original estimate: $1,486.50.

Ouch. Not sure I'm going back to that clinic again, once she has a recheck done in a week's time.

Sunsilver

I am thinking of you, especially today.

Good news about your German shepherd. Hopefully she will recover soon.

That's a bummer about the bill!

My deepest condolences, Sunsilver.

Sunsilver

That's about what the bill was for my dog when he had pancreatitis, so it's probably not unreasonable (but painfully high!). Now I call him my golden dog. And one of the cats who ran up a similar bill is my golden cat.

One thing about loss is that it tends to reactivate your grief over other losses. There will be more tears, but eventually a life that seems to be falling apart will re-emerge whole and joyful.