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More Bad News.....She's gone to join my Dad

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Eruname
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Posted: Sat 19 Mar , 2005 6:27 am
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Your mom has some courage to do that! I'm glad that she chose the right thing for her health. I'm sure this will take some weight off your shoulders knowing that she'll be cared for. :hug:

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Leoba
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Posted: Sat 19 Mar , 2005 1:44 pm
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That must be a huge weight off your mind Sunsilver.:)

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crystal_seed
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Posted: Sat 19 Mar , 2005 2:48 pm
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Sunsilver- I was on vacation when you wrote your mom had a stroke, and only knew something was amiss because of a comment you made in another thread. :(

I am happy for you and your brother that it worked out with the nursing home. I wish your mom a good recovery of functions. I can imagine her body is working to repair itself, as with strokes- it takes time to determine the lasting damage.

And reading this thread, I am once again shocked at the state of the health care system. :Q You did the right thing!
Thinking about you and praying for you :hug:

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Sunsilver
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Posted: Mon 28 Mar , 2005 7:42 pm
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As we expected, my mom passed away peacefully in her sleep sometime early this morning.

We knew she was going, when she lost awareness and began to breathe very rapidly earlier yesterday. We had her minister come in and give her last rites. The last thing I told her before I left the hospital that it was okay to let go and join my Dad, who died early in May of last year. They would have been 60 years married this July.

Rest in peace, Mom. You gave it a good fight. I'm glad you were able to live the way you chose, right up until the last few weeks.

Visitiation is tomorrow. Funeral is Wednesday. The movers come tomorrow, to move the last of my stuff out. I have a painter working here (my cousin, so I trust him to leave him to work alone) and my dog is coming home from the vets tonight. Eulogy to write, phone calls to make, flowers, etc. etc. Can you hear me going crazy??

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oldtoby
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Posted: Mon 28 Mar , 2005 7:54 pm
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Oh, I'm so sorry :hug: Thank god she passed in peace.
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Can you hear me going crazy??
Well if it gets too much pop in here and we will smother you with hugses for as long as you need. (I knnow I will anyways) :)


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Axordil
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Posted: Mon 28 Mar , 2005 8:00 pm
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Don't let the business of death overwhelm what you need to do, sunsilver, which is grieve for a good life. So few of us have any say so in the manner of our passings...your Mom got a gift in doing so.

And I am humbled by your willingness to share your feelings.

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WampusCat
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Posted: Mon 28 Mar , 2005 8:16 pm
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Sunsilver, take a deep breath. Take many deep breaths, or at least as many as you can with all the virtual hugs you're getting. :hug:

So many losses!

I hope you find that peaceful center within yourself where the hectic things-to-do fall away and you can rest in grateful communion with the lives that have touched yours.

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The Watcher
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Posted: Mon 28 Mar , 2005 8:22 pm
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Sunsilver -

I have held off saying things that may be misconstrued, but your mother passed very much the same way that my own grandmother did just four years ago, she had been in poor health with numerous bleeding problems, due to a very low clotting factor, followed by a series of debilitating medical problems that left her just a shadow of herself, and on top of that, towards the very end, unable to recognize any family members except her own two daughters, the rest she could not remember. She passed away at age 92 on March 3, 2001. She went peacefully, and had hopefully not suffered too much, all of the really serious problems had only happened within the previous fifteen months. She had a living will, which my mother and aunt fully honored.

We did not have a funeral but instead chose to have a life affirming memorial service. The internment was extremely private, only a handful of family attended, because for us as a whole, it was more important to remember my grandmother for who she was, and what she did, and the family that she left behind to remember her by. She had been predeceased by her husband in 1947, and then her eldest child and only son in 1993. She was survived by two daughters, nine grandchildren, and 24 great grandchildren, plus numerous other relatives. It was a wonderful celebration of her life, we all managed to get there from all over the country, and thankfully, all of us had had the time to come to terms with her deterioriating health and her happiness at being able to move on. As the oldest grandchild, I remember all too well what she was like when she was vital and full of life, and she knew ahead of time that her time was coming, and I will always remember her as she was, not at what her body had made her become at the very end.

Peace, Sunsilver. As long as those that lived are remembered, they are never ever gone, and your mother is in a better place, I am sure of it, even not being a Christian any longer, but her spirit has been freed and is able to rejoin those that have already moved on.

You are left to deal with the pain and the heartache, but, take some time to remember and grieve and appreciate and love and know that you are not alone. She sounds like she had a full life and a remembered life, and after all, what could be more important in the long run? She has those that knew her to carry the memories forward. If she could want anything, I am sure that this would be the best epitaph that she could have. To know that she was loved and made a difference to the people she cared about in the long run.

{{{{hugs}}}}

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Anthriel
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Posted: Mon 28 Mar , 2005 8:30 pm
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Wow, friend... I'm so sorry about your loss, and the pain it brings.

I wish I could be there to help you move! Or paint! I'm a darned good painter, really I am! Help you pick out flowers! Dust! Vacuum! Walk the dog! I love dogs!

I'd even cook, if it came right down to it, although you might want to pass on that, in general... ;)

The point is, all I really CAN offer you is virtual hugs, and hope that that helps, at least a little. You really are a special person, Ms. Sunsilver... and it really is tough to see such a neat person go through such profound and repeated pain.

:hug:


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Griffon64
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Posted: Mon 28 Mar , 2005 8:36 pm
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:grouphug: Sunsilver ...

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Frelga
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Posted: Mon 28 Mar , 2005 8:43 pm
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Sunsilver - :hug:
I'll be thinking of you.

I would second what Axordil said - your business now is grieving. I hope you accept all offers of help, and I hope you receive many of them.


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vison
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Posted: Mon 28 Mar , 2005 9:01 pm
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My sympathy and the kindest wishes of my heart, Sunsilver. :hug:

Your mum was a lucky woman to have you as her daughter. In time your memories of your life with her will only be sweet, just now the pain is too fresh. Let yourself grieve and feel the pain, it is necessary for healing.

:hug:

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ToshoftheWuffingas
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Posted: Mon 28 Mar , 2005 9:03 pm
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You have had your fill of grief. There will be a lot of things claiming your attention now and I hope they don't make you crazy but keep your conscious mind busy. Later when you have the calm to reflect slowly you will be able to remember what the people you have lost have done in their lives and how they have helped to make you the person you are.
You have a lot of friends here.


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Lacemaker
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Posted: Mon 28 Mar , 2005 9:20 pm
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All my sympathy, and a big :grouphug:

She will help you get through this.


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Nin
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Posted: Mon 28 Mar , 2005 9:42 pm
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I wish there was something I could really do for you.

More than thinking of you and sending you many smiles and hugs.

I hope you will get through this, and I am glad to know you.

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MariaHobbit
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Posted: Mon 28 Mar , 2005 9:51 pm
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She certainly had a nice, long life. I'm glad her pain is over, but I sympathize with the sorrow you must be feeling. :hug:


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Pippin4242
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Posted: Mon 28 Mar , 2005 9:52 pm
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I'm glad it was peaceful, Sunsilver. I wish I knew what to say, but I just don't.

I'm thinking of you. :(

:hug:

*~Pips~*

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Berhael
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Posted: Mon 28 Mar , 2005 9:57 pm
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Oh Sunsilver :( I hope you have peace and tranquility away from grief soon, I can't think of anyone who deserves it more than you. :hug:

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Voronwë_the_Faithful
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Posted: Mon 28 Mar , 2005 10:06 pm
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Sunsilver, my sincere condolences.


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Primula_Baggins
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Posted: Mon 28 Mar , 2005 10:12 pm
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Sunsilver, I'm so very sorry for your loss. I hope it can help you to know that a lot of people are thinking of you and praying for you.

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