Maybe the word I'm looking for is not pacifist, then. I'm trying to figure out just how non-violent a group of people can be and still survive. I don't mean having a first reaction of non-violence, and if that doesn't work, use violence. I'm asking if there is a way to survive as a society or as a person in a society without condoning any violence, for any reason.
It is often said that we have a fight-or-flight reaction to all agression or dangerous looking situations. Why can't we have something else - like negotiating or outwitting or shielding?
Well, I suppose the closest thing you could have then would only be effectively wielded at the "local" level, with such processes as shunning or banning from the community for those who would try to incite deliberate violence, much the way that certain tribal peoples or even certain religious communities now do when they declare a certain member "dead."
Some of the American Indian tribes and the Amish come to mind here. The problem here is that there needs to be some sort of "outside world" where the shunned individual then is deported to. Or, the concept of invisibility could be employed, where the member is not forced out per se, but noone is allowed to recognize their presence any longer.
I do think that first one needs to have a very clear cut definition of what violence entails and consists of. Physical actions are not the only type of violence, words can be far more destructive and incidious at times. Also, how would said society then deal with things that might be beyond a particular individual's control, such as those with certain psychiatric conditions, or autism, diminished mental capacity, or other "non-deliberate" types of possible predispositions to a violent act?
I can see how this is easy to achieve on a small scale, but the larger the groups become, and the more diverse in the views that are existant, the more impossible the task becomes. If it were as simple as saying that there were definite genetic blueprints for predispositions to violence that could somehow be undeveloped or suppressed throughout one's formative years and/or entire life, it would be different. But, it is so much more complex than this.
Another problem that starts to creep into the equation is where does the individual themselves have the right to act as they see fit and when does society step in and start to control the individual. There is a balancing act there, too much in either direction leads to anarchy or to totalitarianism.
And, I will be brutally honest myself here. If someone came barging into my home and threatened one of my children, for example, can I honestly say that I would attempt a non-violent form of action to try and thwart the perceived threat? I cannot answer this question.
Very interesting topic.