At a certain point, Voronwë, you have to decide that you've done all you can to facilitate a discussion and explanation, and that you no longer bear the responsibility for the outcome.
It's not closure or (what would be better) a solution of the problem; it's frustrating not even to know what the problem is; but you can't go on beating yourself up. You know you tried. We all know you tried. Maybe Farawen was trying as hard as she could, too, but couldn't find a way to make her feelings clear.
And sometimes even when the problem is clearly stated, the only solution the other party will accept is one that's simply impossible to implement. There's no final answer then, either.
You know all this, of course. But I know from experience with tangles like this that it sometimes helps to have things spelled out. You've done it for me, God knows.