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The Problem with Board77

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wilko185
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Posted: Thu 21 Jul , 2005 10:06 am
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Eruname wrote:
I don't think it's because people can't get along here or there's something wrong here, I think it's because of the way we have this board set up.
There's some truth in that, but I don't think lots of drama is inevitable with this system, is it? There are self-modded boards where it just doesn't happen.

[edit - a new page, sorry... ]


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Axordil
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Posted: Thu 21 Jul , 2005 1:39 pm
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I think the drama is inevitable in one fashion or another if people actually care about each other AND the dictum is to let people work things out, whether the board is self-managed or not.

But let us not forget that when a drama is finished, people leave the theatre slightly better off than they were going in...if it's real and not melo-.


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Primula_Baggins
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Posted: Thu 21 Jul , 2005 1:45 pm
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wilko185 wrote:
Eruname wrote:
I don't think it's because people can't get along here or there's something wrong here, I think it's because of the way we have this board set up.
There's some truth in that, but I don't think lots of drama is inevitable with this system, is it? There are self-modded boards where it just doesn't happen.
I agree that our structure doesn't make drama inevitable. It's the combination of our structure with our recent history.

I'd guess that the self-modded boards you mention are ones whose membership formed quietly around a mutual interest and that probably have no major schisms or explosions in the fairly recent past.

That's the future of board77, I hope and believe, but it's not yet the present fact. Time and patience will get us there.

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MariaHobbit
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Posted: Thu 21 Jul , 2005 6:08 pm
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Wilko wrote:
[edit - a new page, sorry... ]
You know what? I actually counted the posts on the preceeding page before posting, just so I wouldn't be the one to do that! :LMAO:

Now we'll just have to shoot for 142 pages.....


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halplm
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Posted: Thu 21 Jul , 2005 8:03 pm
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Clearly the problem with B77 is that we can't all agree to end a thread on the right page... :neutral:

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Primula_Baggins
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Posted: Thu 21 Jul , 2005 8:18 pm
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Time and patience and banning halplm. :P

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WampusCat
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Posted: Thu 21 Jul , 2005 8:30 pm
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Every board I've joined has engaged in high drama. (Is it me?) :Q

My problem is that I find the drama so intriguing that I end up spending all my time reading the implosion threads rather than participating in the general life of the board.

I tell myself that it's because I care so much about the board and its members, which I do. But sometimes I suspect it's the rubbernecking-at-the-wreck-by-the-side-of-the-road syndrome. What I love about b77 is that so often the drivers of the cars that collided climb out, exchange words, curse the damage, shake hands, and get to work together on making necessary repairs.

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Axordil
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Posted: Thu 21 Jul , 2005 8:31 pm
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Quote:
What I love about b77 is that so often the drivers of the cars that collided climb out, exchange words, curse the damage, shake hands, and get to work together on making necessary repairs.
It astounds me how often it happens too. :)


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truehobbit
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Posted: Thu 21 Jul , 2005 8:38 pm
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Ax wrote:
I think the drama is inevitable in one fashion or another if people actually care about each other AND the dictum is to let people work things out, whether the board is self-managed or not.
Exactly my opinion, Ax! :)
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Clearly the problem with B77 is that we can't all agree to end a thread on the right page...
I think the problem is that we can't agree to ever end a thread at all! :P

Well said, Wampuscat! :)

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Frelga
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Posted: Thu 21 Jul , 2005 9:39 pm
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Why end it? There's somethign charming about the thread entitled "The Problem with Board 77" being at the top of the Business Forum and going on for 43 pages. At least, it's charming now that people stopped yelling at each other for a while.

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Voronwë_the_Faithful
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Posted: Thu 21 Jul , 2005 10:39 pm
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Axordil wrote:
Quote:
What I love about b77 is that so often the drivers of the cars that collided climb out, exchange words, curse the damage, shake hands, and get to work together on making necessary repairs.
It astounds me how often it happens too. :)
That's why this situation has been so incredibly difficult for me to deal with. I would like nothing better to try to work with Farawen to understand what I did to upset her so greatly. Every other situation that I have been involved with here, or even observed from outside, has been able to reach a positive resolution by means of the parties involved engaging in dialogue. All I can do is periodically polite request that Farawen attempt to do so as well. I know I can't force her to do so, but unless she does I will likely never achieve any kind of satisfactory closure. :(

However, that does not mean that I discount or devalue the incredible support that I received from my friends here. There are many truly amazing people here and I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to be here with you all. :love:


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Primula_Baggins
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Posted: Thu 21 Jul , 2005 10:53 pm
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:hug:

At a certain point, Voronwë, you have to decide that you've done all you can to facilitate a discussion and explanation, and that you no longer bear the responsibility for the outcome.

It's not closure or (what would be better) a solution of the problem; it's frustrating not even to know what the problem is; but you can't go on beating yourself up. You know you tried. We all know you tried. Maybe Farawen was trying as hard as she could, too, but couldn't find a way to make her feelings clear.

And sometimes even when the problem is clearly stated, the only solution the other party will accept is one that's simply impossible to implement. There's no final answer then, either.

You know all this, of course. But I know from experience with tangles like this that it sometimes helps to have things spelled out. You've done it for me, God knows.

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Rodia
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Posted: Thu 21 Jul , 2005 11:03 pm
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edited because it insulted.

Last edited by Rodia on Fri 22 Jul , 2005 6:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Eruname
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Posted: Thu 21 Jul , 2005 11:33 pm
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Rodia wrote:
and is distressed that no one else really caught on to what she meant by it. There must have been a million thoughts going through her head between then and now, and that doesn't make things easier.
I think that describes many of us accurately...remember what you said earlier?:
Quote:
It makes me want to scream, because I have no clue how to convince you otherwise.
With another person leaving again, this is still exactly how I feel.

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Voronwë_the_Faithful
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Posted: Thu 21 Jul , 2005 11:50 pm
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Prim, :hug:

Eru, :hug:

Ro, :hug: :hug: (but don't tell Gimli :P)


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Rodia
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Posted: Thu 21 Jul , 2005 11:57 pm
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I know, Eru. I feel like a traitor because I almost sound like I'm saying there is no problem...well for me the problem is that Fara sees a problem. GARFGHAKLHSKJHS!!! I don't know. It's beyond me right now.





V!!and TWO! TWO HUGS FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Voronwë_the_Faithful
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Posted: Fri 22 Jul , 2005 1:22 am
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You've earned it my dear. After your previous post in this thread, I almost wrote to ask you to marry me, until I remember that I already had 20 years of connubial bliss behind me. ;)

Not to mention the fact that it might have slightly annoyed Gimli :P


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Rodia
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Posted: Fri 22 Jul , 2005 6:05 pm
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Farawen is very angry with me about what I wrote. I'm going to edit it but if anyone else thought, like she did, that it was insulting her intelligence, please take my word for it that I had no such intentions. I guess it didn't sound much like it but I was trying to help. I probably chose my words wrongly.

I'm sorry.


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Axordil
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Posted: Fri 22 Jul , 2005 6:09 pm
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It wasn't insulting from where I stood, Ro, but I evidently have skin thicker than the average rhinoceros. :neutral:


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Rodia
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Posted: Fri 22 Jul , 2005 6:16 pm
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It's happened to me before, so I think it's probably how I choose my words. I don't know. I kind of want to be angry but that never makes anything better. And I was making assumptions.

Actually, fuck it, I'll be angry. Farawen, I'm sorry I hurt you. But you know I like you. You know I consider you a friend- maybe we're not real close but still. You should know I wouldn't...well actually why should you know I wouldn't mean to insult if I did. :(

How does one tell the difference?

Fuck. :(


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