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A place to talk about weight and "attractiveness"

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LalaithUrwen
Post subject: Re: A place to talk about weight and "attractiveness"
Posted: Thu 04 Feb , 2010 2:38 pm
The Grey Amaretto as Supermega-awesome Proud Heretic Girl
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:hug:

No, it's not, and, in some ways, it can more quickly lead to health problems than being overweight.

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None_Elf_Ear
Post subject: Re: A place to talk about weight and "attractiveness"
Posted: Sun 07 Feb , 2010 11:50 am
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It absolutely effs up your mind to begin with; but then again, it's the past we're talking about, in my case. Though with former anorexics you never really know if there's a limit.

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Jaeniver
Post subject: Re: A place to talk about weight and "attractiveness"
Posted: Thu 11 Feb , 2010 7:59 pm
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I'm so sorry I missed this thread. This is a very interesting topic.

I never used to fuss much about my weight. I was always underweight and had people asking me wether I was eating properly. Gah! , yes I was skinny and didn't have much meat on me so I could eat whatever I wanted. High metabolism I think.

Now it has changed though. I am not saying I am fat because I far from am obese or anything. I would be what you consider a healthy right weight. Everytime I bring it up that I am not that happy with parts of my own body people immidiatly tell me to shut it because they wish they had my body because I am so thin, I have no giant ass etc etc. For about a year now I am noticing I am gaining weight. I have gained a few kilos which really isn't a big deal but all the extra kilos are going straight to my stomach. I never had a flat stomach but now my stomach is even showing through most of my t-shirts. On top of that I am developing love handles. multiple ones. I feel concious looking at myself in the mirror when I am putting on shirts and I see my belly fat where a year before it was not showing. It just looks weird because the rest of me is indeed slim and maybe even skinny. I have no ass, no volupteous curves. Just a stomach.

I've been trying to eat healthy, banish all the nasty foods like crisps, fast food and sugery goodness. I bought some gym equipment and joined a Zumba class. Now I am not that great when it comes to discipline. I don't like to work out so naturally, I still don't see any results which leads me to not like what I see in the mirror even more (downward spiral).

Of course my boyfriend says I shouldn't make such a big deal out of it and that I am gorgeous but I would really like my stomach to be just a tiny bit more toned, just to go back to what it used to be.

Today I went into a lingery store to buy some items to surprise my significant other for Valentine's. I tried on something cute but it looked far from cute on me. I looked like a stuffed saucage! Mner, gone was my romantic mood.

Anyway, just wanted to join in on this interesting topic and rant about the stupid outfit in the store ;).

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LalaithUrwen
Post subject: Re: A place to talk about weight and "attractiveness"
Posted: Fri 12 Feb , 2010 2:51 am
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Trying on clothes can be so depressing. :(

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elfshadow
Post subject: Re: A place to talk about weight and "attractiveness"
Posted: Fri 12 Feb , 2010 3:29 am
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Hi Jae my lovely. :love: :hug: I definitely understand what it feels like to just want to be a little bit skinnier. I, of course, look at you and think, "She's so beautiful, how can she think that??" but I also know what it's like to come from that perspective. I know I am not overweight enough to be unhealthy, but it is hard looking at all those people who are skinnier than I am and wishing I could look like that. :( And boy, do I know about clothes shopping. Whenever I visit my best friend, she always wants to go shopping and try a ton of things on. Well I enjoy shopping, but I hate trying things on. I usually just look for shirts that are a bit bigger than I think they need to be, so I don't have to try them on, and I avoid shopping for jeans at all costs.


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Ara-anna
Post subject: Re: A place to talk about weight and "attractiveness"
Posted: Fri 12 Feb , 2010 3:45 am
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I think sometimes we are too hard on ourselves, which in my case could be due to media/society input. I remember back in my early 20's I struggled with my weight, to be a certain weight because that's what I was supposed to weigh. As I got older the struggle never went away, but about 2 plus years ago I went in an had a test done. The test actually weight my muscle mass, internal organ weight, bone mass and I found out the entire time I was struggling in my 20's I was actually making myself underweight for my body by almost 20 pounds. I think that that bad body image made me almost give up at times. Now my body image is different, not so much as looks, but more along the lines of is it healthy. I guess gravity and age makes me look differently at my body, unless I jump in the way back pool of youth my body is not going to look like it did in my 20's. It looks better than it has in years, yes, but again I didn't do what I have done in the last few years to look good, I did it too be healthy. I have too many other health issues to not treat my body kinder.

Kinder doesn't mean looking like a super model, that would do more harm than good at this point. Kinder is to forgive the stretch marks and the little flabs that just won't go away with exercise, those aging issues. I find that getting older frees me to be more forgiving of my flaws. My body isn't going to be 20 again and I have some life scars to prove it, I used to worry about those scars, now I embrace them. They mean I have lived, and that's a ton better than the alternative. :)

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Jaeniver
Post subject: Re: A place to talk about weight and "attractiveness"
Posted: Sat 13 Feb , 2010 8:14 pm
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Elfshadow you truly are too kind ;) :love: :oops:. Yes trying on outfits can be a pain.
I did end up buying some nice lingery which were appreciated very much so that made me feel better after the previous day.

Do you truly think it's because of today's society we are brainwashed into thinking this way or is there some other strange factor why we are never truly satisfied with the way we look. I am so facinated by this subject.

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*E*V*E*N*S*T*A*R*
Post subject: Re: A place to talk about weight and "attractiveness"
Posted: Sat 13 Feb , 2010 9:02 pm
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Even if I'm not brainwashed, I bet enough others are to make it count. ;) I'm kind of neutral on my looks: sometimes I look cute, other times I want to smash my face into the mirror. But I don't often feel REALLY shit about myself until I'm ~outside~. Like, in a crowd or being introduced to people. Suddenly it's like being interrogated under a bright light by the FBI or something. They look unimpressed, I'm confused and sweaty. :P




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Ara-anna
Post subject: Re: A place to talk about weight and "attractiveness"
Posted: Sun 14 Feb , 2010 3:58 pm
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Jae

I think we are brainwashed to a point. I think a good deal comes from the media telling us how we should look and perhaps part comes from the medical industry telling us our BMI has to be this to be healthy. When in fact everyones BMI is very different for each person. And up until the 1920's the rounder fuller female body was the standard of beauty. I think it had something to do with the survival of the species, as in a slighter woman was probably more likely to die carrying a child due to malnutrition, where as a woman with meat on her bones had enough money and or food to be something desirable to have children with. I might be wrong, but if we look at the paintings of women thru history until that time, they were always rounder, fuller and had tummys. :shrug: Even the fertility goddesses of the ancient world were usually heavy set or represented by a hippo or something like that.

What I am saying is the human view of attractiveness changes, at this point we as a society find thin young women attractive (Victoria's Secret models, Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue, ect). Well some people do, some people don't .

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Riverthalos
Post subject: Re: A place to talk about weight and "attractiveness"
Posted: Sun 14 Feb , 2010 10:07 pm
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Beauty (in terms of grooming and physical appearance) is a display of wealth and health. The standards are set according to what, at the time, is the most difficult and expensive look to attain. In the old days, being plump was for the rich people. They could afford to eat those calories but not burn them off in a day's hard labor. These days, it's flipped around. Being plump is easy. Being thin isn't. And, of course, the ideal is about impossible for an ordinary person to reach. But we pay a lot of money and time trying...

You know what's really interesting? It's kind of rude to ask someone about their weight, especially a woman. But I've dropped a noticeable number of pounds in the last year (can't give you a number as I've banned scales from my life :P) and people remark on it by saying "You look good!"

Thing is, I didn't look bad before the weight loss either. Or, at least, I didn't think I looked bad. :scratch: And it's not like I was really wanting or trying to lose the weight either. It just happened. Massive life changes, even the ones I want and anticipate and plan and prepare for, do that to me and I got hit with some doozies in the last year or so. All positive, but not exactly minor. And it occurred to me this past week that the shrinking act is slowly continuing as gauged by how my clothes fit. I've also been feeling cold and hungry all the time, another sign my weight's changed. Now some of this may be because I spent ten days climbing mountains in Ecuador, but really, the signs were there before the trip as well. Anyway, I'm going to watch it. I think part of what's going on is the life changes of '09 were accompanied by some changes in my eating habits. Weird things happen when you change jobs, I guess, but I can live with it.

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eärendil
Post subject: Re: A place to talk about weight and "attractiveness"
Posted: Sun 14 Feb , 2010 11:30 pm
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Ara-anna wrote:
What I am saying is the human view of attractiveness changes, at this point we as a society find thin young women attractive (Victoria's Secret models, Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue, ect). Well some people do, some people don't .
See that is where it is sneaky... my beloved's niece was approached by Victoria's secret US when she was 13 to model for underwear for women. Her mother refused although it was very good money, but she said her daughter was too young to go catwalk in underwear. So basically the models are younger than 16 and 20y.o and older women fantasize about having a teenager's body. I am sorry you cannot be 20, 25 or 30 y.o with no hips and no curves where they are most visible.

As far as I am concerned I try not to obsess about it. At one point in my 20ies I was 130lbs; everybody said I looked great, but guess what I felt weak. I was not strong enough to play volleyball anymore; despite a heavy protein diet I lost muscles.
I am now a size 10 and I am happy about it, and my bf keeps telling how beautiful he thinks I am so what do I care about the others eh ;) :P :P.

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*E*V*E*N*S*T*A*R*
Post subject: Re: A place to talk about weight and "attractiveness"
Posted: Mon 15 Feb , 2010 1:16 am
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It's worth pointing out that where women are concerned at least, they feel pressured to look like supermodels, who themselves weren't stick-thin until Twiggy came along in the 60's. The heroin chic look pushed it even further in the 90's with people like Kate Moss, who was considered an anti-supermodel because at 5'6" she was really short and lacked curves. So if that has been the desired figure for the last twenty years, it's reasonable to assume someone else will cause a stir because they are different and the public is ready for it.

Some countries and agencies are cracking down on the sickly look because of all the model deaths due to eating disorders in recent years. However, you also get Lara Stone being called fat since she actually has breasts, the fashion world freaking out over Gemma Ward gaining 10 or 15 pounds, and everyone else reacting to Jessica Simpson's mom jeans. :roll: So hey, not there yet. But hope remains. :P




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eärendil
Post subject: Re: A place to talk about weight and "attractiveness"
Posted: Mon 15 Feb , 2010 4:34 am
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See I was thinking along the lines of Laeticia Casta. She was a French supermodel, worked with Victoria Secret for a long while. She was as dumb as one can get but she was and still is a beautiful woman who assumed the curves.

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Riverthalos
Post subject: Re: A place to talk about weight and "attractiveness"
Posted: Mon 15 Feb , 2010 4:41 am
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I lost all patience with fashion and Hollywood after I saw both Liv Tyler and Kate Winslet being labeled as fat in the press. And that was before the Jessica Simpson thing. WTF??

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*E*V*E*N*S*T*A*R*
Post subject: Re: A place to talk about weight and "attractiveness"
Posted: Mon 15 Feb , 2010 5:22 am
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Could be the pose, but that doesn't look curvy to me.

River, Winslet has had the "fat" label as long as I've known her! ie: since I saw Titanic haha. I know she wore corsets in it, but I saw her costumes at an exhibit and... if those tiny numbers are fat, I'm Napoleon frickin' Bonaparte.

Unfortunately, it's mostly impossible to separate media (Hollywood, fashion, pop culture, etc.) from "real" people because one is a reflection of the other reflecting the one's reflection. It's both worlds away, and part of your daily life. I mean, most of those supermodels are white, right? Doesn't mean that's the only way to be beautiful, but societal perceptions and yadda yadda. Sorry, my sleep medication is kicking in. Ahem, I do wish many things could be written off as ~crazy Hollywood~ but either through influence or imitation, they kind of get you in the end. :roll:




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nienna
Post subject: Re: A place to talk about weight and "attractiveness"
Posted: Mon 15 Feb , 2010 7:47 am
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Sophie Dahl almost succeeded as a (UK) size 14 model...but she gave in and shed the pounds too... :(

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Pippin4242
Post subject: Re: A place to talk about weight and "attractiveness"
Posted: Mon 15 Feb , 2010 2:30 pm
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*steps in despite not having particularly strong feelings about her own body.

Nothing like dating a woman to make you feel more confident. I'm really not too sure what I weigh or how big I am at the moment, although I'd hazard a guess at UK-10 for my top half, and UK-12 for my big arse. I like having boobfies, so I don't really want to lose weight, but on the other hand, I'd personally feel more comfortable if I didn't chub up quite so much on the belly every time I lean over. But Max really doesn't seem to mind, thinks my mum's weird obsession with my weight can go fuck itself, and just generally makes me feel so happy about how I look that I forget to check whether I've put on five stone since I last wondered about it.

You know those dreams where you're naked in public, and you don't notice until it's late, and you're totally mortified? Had one of those the other day - I'd walked down to the garage to buy some milk - and I realised on the way back that I was starkers. This bloke was looking at me, trying to tell me I wasn't wearing anything, and I was just like "Don't make a fuss, I only went to buy some milk." Like some kind of bizarre anti-anxiety dream. :LMAO:

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eärendil
Post subject: Re: A place to talk about weight and "attractiveness"
Posted: Mon 15 Feb , 2010 6:36 pm
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Kate Winslet lost something like 20lbs to star in Titanic, she said afterwards that she would not do it again...
Liv Tyler has also trouble keeping the weight off. And her sister is a beautiful plus size model.


As far as I am concerned I grew up feeling conscious about my weight. At the age of 15 I arrived in holidays wearing some comfy trousers because we had an 8hr drive from Paris to my grandparents' in Provence and the first thing my grandfather told me was "you are already fat, why do you wear something that makes you look even fatter." I was a size 10 at the time and pretty much the same heights I am today.

Even this Xmas, the first thing he said after saying hello nice to see you was "say, you look less fat than last year, you lost weight?" to which I answered laughing "sure grandpa, lost at least 2lbs thanks for noticing"... Not true, I did shed 10lbs since Xmas last year because they finally figured the dosage for my medication but still.

But I am not caring anymore... I am actually struggling to keep my sister putting on some weight without pressuring her because she is borderline anorexic and that is because she was like me a little chubby as a young teenager and was told by her grandfather that she is too fat one too many time I guess. There are other elements obviously one being an asshole breaking her heart in the meanest way... but still. You end up believing what you are being told so many times. I did... and had eating disorder for a couple of years; I was stuffing myself until I threw up...

Being attractive is not only about the way you look but how your "aura" reverberates no matter what the Maybelline ad with Ellen de generes says (and I was shocked to hear such a woman say that)...

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I Endure in order to Reflect
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I seal the Matrix of Endlessness
With the Cosmic tone of Presence
I am guided by the power of Spirit

Who can say if I've been changed for the better, but
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I have been changed for good


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*E*V*E*N*S*T*A*R*
Post subject: Re: A place to talk about weight and "attractiveness"
Posted: Mon 15 Feb , 2010 7:00 pm
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Kate Winslet gave in too, the last five or so years. But at least she's always had those hips, and didn't look unhealthy or anything.




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