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Nostalgia and ecstasy

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*E*V*E*N*S*T*A*R*
Post subject: Nostalgia and ecstasy
Posted: Wed 21 Jun , 2006 1:01 am
I've cried a thousand oceans, and I would cry a thousand more if that's what it takes to sail you home.
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I have a lot of thoughts going through me right now and not the concentration to make real sense of them, so bare with me.

For the past three or four weeks, I've been happy. At times insanely so, but mostly just a consistent feeling of neutrality. That doesn't sound like a good thing, :P but I assure you it is. Usually I feel empty or downright depressed. Waking up is just something to do, I have no joy in the days and go to sleep when I'm tired. So I was in the red, and neutral means that I'm experiencing neither high highs or low lows. It was an interesting place that I wasn't used to seeing.

As the days went by, I realized the neutrality turned into contentment. Not necessarily bouncing off the walls euphoria, but I could suddenly sit up straight and hold my head high. There were problems, and things I could be upset about (credit card trouble, figuring out the b77 move, body image anxiety), but... I wasn't. At least not for long. That's never really happened to me before. :Q I can't explain it, and always knew that I wouldn't be able to. Meaning that in the past when I've wondered what it would feel like to be happy in life, I figured that there would be no single event that'd make it happen. That things would just eventually click, and perhaps I'd realize this days or weeks later. I was correct because it was indeed a while before I discovered how I was feeling. And though I can attribute a great help to my chats with cemthinae or my excitement regarding the Gathering, it wasn't really one thing that made me like this.

Happy though I am, it still doesn't make posts appear at board77 =:) so I had to find a way to occupy myself. Began reading through Thinking of England, looking up old posts elsewhere on the boards, and browsing through moot photos. I am so completely and utterly in love with you all. Like, I can't even find the words to explain that better, but it's true. I look at all these fantastic things we did together, places I've been, memories I've forged, and it just makes me so happy I could cry. Screw it, I'm crying right now. I'm such a drunk person when I've been awake for more than 20 hours. :roll:

It's just that... I can't believe how far we've come. I was at TORC for almost two years when the Gathering came along and it was such a starting point, even though it was a few months later that I kind of floated away from the site. Between April and September of 2004, the magic was gone for me and I only came back when you guys told me about the petition which lead to the creation of b77. So weird to think that within a year of that incredibly emotional time of my life (the week I spent at the Gathering), Lidless would be banned and we'd all bugger off from TORC pretty much for good. Even weirder to think about how much I've grown up in the short time since b77's creation. The platform allowed for much more opportunity, of course, but I still appreciate that very fact. I learned so much more about myself and my friends that I never could have at TORC, or IM because I really wasn't around much and have trouble keeping in touch with people.

Speaking of which, an important thing that my life had previously been lacking: forging a history with people. I always felt so jealous when my parents would talk about concerts they went to in their youth or how mom would hang out with her friend when they were six. They had someone they could talk about the past with. I can't seem to keep my friends from school, I'm not close with my family, and my brother (whom I used to consider a best friend) no longer speaks to me, so the opportunities either were not available, or no longer are. I joined TORC over four years ago, have been mooting for 3 and a half, and have been part of b77 for a year and a half. Finally, I have a history with people I still talk to and that means more than you can know. We can say, "remember the first MOME pageant!" and you'll know what I mean. I was present when Lidless and Estel first met. :Q I saw troysie get drunk as fuck in Liverpool. We've all experienced things together, on the boards or off, and we have a past to talk about. That is freakin' awesome! I want to still be doing this when I'm 40. In some way, shape, or form.

It is just so wild to think of how things were and how they are. I've done and said things that still make my cringe. Did you know that until last year, I thought Estel hated me? I can barely remember why now. Can't believe that ever crossed my mind, though. It's pretty shameful. Actually, most of my embarrassments have involved Lidless or Estel. :roll: Crying in front of them, tripping over them, spilling refreshments over them... lots of stuff I'd like to erase from my brain and theirs forever. But I make a fool of myself all of the time. How about the time I mistook The_Angel for Orlando Bloom? Or screaming at the London Dungeons around satch and Pandora? My piece de resistance was making Lidless, Jen, and Mammo wait like five hours at Newark airport while my flight was delayed. Oh, the horror. I suck.

But the great things have outweighed the set-backs. As much as I had mental problems at the beginning of the Gathering, I got it together after a few days and had pictures taken with every person that I met. I still giggle like a little girl when I see this photo or think of the events surrounding it. Two months after, I left Canada for the first time ever for a moot and vacation time in England. A month after that, I was in the States for the first time for the biggest m00bies moot ever. I met Whistler, for god's sake. Sometimes I take these trips for granted, but other days I sit back and really think about it... and nearly explode. I'm so blessed.

Perhaps I should go to bed and get some sleep before starting this next section, but whatever. I need to finish. I'm just thinking about so many people lately and how they've affected my life, even for a short time. How did I deserve you guys?



cem, you're so incredibly uplifting. You always encourage me and it makes a difference. I love hearing about your dogs and your friends.

Ethel, you were like the mother I never had and the friend I always wanted. I miss talking to you and wonder if our friendship is forever lost cuz we just haven't been able to pick up where we left off. But I think about you and was lucky to have you at that time of my life.

tolkienpurist, I didn't really know you before Florida, and the strange thing is that after reading your posts and seeing you on LiveJournal, I was suddenly very intimidated by you. Now I always say the wrong thing around you and I'm sorry about that. You're just one of the most incredible people I know. Intelligence has always scared me in others. But I love you and can't wait to see you again in September.

Lidless and Estel - you guys are my fucking heroes for life and I will never ever forget you. I know you hear that all the time cuz you guys just have that affect on people. But I'm such a fangirl. Perhaps that's why it was a long time before I figured out that we were friends. I put myself in the position to be like the less worthy one. Fangirls are low on the totem pole because it's all about the star, and you guys are stars. But then last year you said that I was like family and it hit me: I'm so lucky to hear that and not be in Heaven's Gate or something. No one's called me family before. Yep, I'm a loser, but that meant a lot to me. From the phone calls to the Christmas letters to the occassional private message or Yahoo chat, I just love y'all to pieces and no one really makes me as happy as you. No offense to them, I've just probably known you two longer and hung out with ya's more.

brambleroseGamgee, I still can't believe you wandered into my adoption thread on TORC one day and now I consider you one of my best friends. I missed out on the whole sleepover gigglefest thing in my high school days, but it's worth waiting for if I can laugh all night at stupid things with you in Boston. Even better: we can talk Lord of the Rings or really deep stuff. You're amazing no matter what you say and I've loved getting to Boston so much in the last few years. It always means a good conversation with you!

Wilma, omigosh. If Estel hadn't arranged for extra roommates, I never would have met you and that scares me so much. You never let me say anything bad about myself and you really care about people. You're not shy and I kept you in mind as I finally came out of my shell at the Gathering. It was great meeting new people and talking to strangers. Things I never would have experienced if I hadn't seen you doing well at it yourself! Every time I'm in Toronto, I know I can hang out with you and that bloody rules.

Eruname, I could squee about you all day long. There are so many amazing things about yourself and you need to be proud of that more often. Even when I can't focus enough to comment on other weblogs (or my own), I make sure to stop by yours because you mean a lot to me and I don't want you forgetting that. I was such a tard in Florida for hiding from you. I just didn't want you to see the geek I really am when you're so intelligent and multi-talented. I'm, er, immature and boneheaded. We get along so well online that I was afraid of that changing. I love keeping in touch with you on LJ, though. That you update often gets me through the day moreso than not.

LilyRoseTook, seeing you again in Florida felt like seeing a sister or something. I just felt so comfortable with ya. You're a sweetie, and I must admit that I feel a kinship with other shy people, so I know I can come hide with you when I'm not feeling particularly loud.

satch, I worship the ground you walk on and always have. Wish we talked more, but I will speak up on IM now that you've yelled at me. ;) My first couple years on TORC were all about group convos with you, Elwen, Amy, and Lana. I love you chicks.

yovargas, Axordil, Alatar, Tosh, TED - you guys I didn't know so well before b77, but quickly learned how utterly fantastic you all were. I mean, I would just sit there staring at your posts going :shock:. Hilarious, witty, damned smart, brilliant writers. All of you. Yov, you're always so supportive of me. I don't know why, but I love you for it. TED, it was so easy to talk to you on the phone from Florida. Usually I suck, but for some reason just found things to say. Your pink speedo makes me fall outta the chair laughing. Alatar, I need to pinch your cheeks sometime. You're just fab and I loved hearing your voice on the webcam in Florida. Ax, :bow: and then some. Can't believe I missed you at the Gathering. Glad that you are posting again. Tosh, all of your posts make me laugh. I'm envious.

Elian Ranel, our love affair was brief but memorable. :P I had such a blast chatting with you for a few months and it was amusing how much we had in common. Still wanna meet you some day, bitch. DoTheyGandalf, another disappearance! But it was wonderful to meet you in Boston. You're one of the coolest people I know, sincerely.

<I actually went for a nap at this point. Sorry. Had been up for 22 hours and my brother wanted the comp so I just decided to catch a few zzz's.> :P

Nin, I love that you send me random hugs on YM. Even when you're busy and can't say more, they say a lot and I really appreciate it.

Mossy, you're such a sweetheart and I love reading your journal. You get to see all these amazing plays and that sort of passion really translates well online. I'm always interested in what you have to say. It's been great chatting with you and making fun of ourselves for being so silly about things. Bring on Framingham!!!

Jewel, you're always ready for a moot and I like that. =:) You're a kick-ass lady and I look forward to living in London vicariously through you. If you ever write an autobiography, I'll be first in line to read it.

Enchie, you were the first TORCer I ever met! :love: Enjoyed meeting you then and will enjoy meeting you next month. When you first arrived at the Gathering, after you hugged Sauron'sNaggingWife, you looked at me and said, "*E*... do you remember me?" and I was like "you've got to be kidding. I should be asking you the same thing, I'm Little Miss Nobody!" So, you're a ween, but a darling one at that. :D

Angbasdil, u r h0tt!!11 But also so funny I often hurt myself laughing at your posts. I'm envious of that ability. You were always a favorite of mine at TORC and the boards are a little more fun to read when you're around.

halplm and TehSt00pfidMary - having all those group chats with you was an invaluable source of fun for me. I feel lucky to count y'all as friends. S_O and Mary, wow, you guys just blew in here and everyone followed. It's hard to believe you only joined a year ago cuz you settled in so fast and made friends with everybody. I salute you! Hal, I could listen to you trash the movies any day. You're so funny.

Lego, you were a highlight of the Florida moot for me and I can't believe I got to meet you! Really, you and Gimli put a face on internet posting for me and once that familiarity was there, I was sucked into TORC forever. Thank you. :bow: You're a fabulous person and every time I think of the subwoofer, I slap my knee and laugh until I cry. Fun times. :D

Gimli, I had no idea what to expect at the Gathering, but your presence was one of the biggest reasons I wanted to go. You're one of the most impressive posters I've ever met. So funny and kind and smart-alecky. Always have a great story to tell. An interesting anecdote. You rule times ten.

Rodia, also tremendously impressive. If you hadn't jumped me in Florida, I probably would have been a miserable jackass again, so I really owe you for that one. You're the first person who ever drew a characature of me and I lurrrrrrrrrrrrved it so much. Made me feel like part of a group and that is something I struggle with most of the time. You're just this incredible ball of energy and talent and compassion. I wish I had a pocket Rodia for when I can't hang out with you in person.

Rune and Elsha, two wonderful chickas I can't wait to meet in Toronto! You guys always stopped by my website and it meant a lot. You're both brilliant and gorgeous and a pleasure to post with. It'll be a better summer for having spent time with ya's.

TWT, where do I start? For some reason, you've always been really nice to me and that sorta thing goes far in my books. I love movie freaks and having someone to post with, so when the boards are slow, I know I can count on you to say something that'll usually get a chuckle from me. Thank you for the support, and I'm pretty much doing cartwheels I'm looking forward to you and the Gathering so much.

Holby, you don't say a whole lot and so I often find myself wondering what's goin' on inside your head, but you are always awesome to hear from. Extremely goddamned funny and I love being around ya. Sorry, the accent is entertaining. :P I just like it!

Wolfgangbos and Incanus - Wolfie, you give the best hugs! :D Even though I was only on the webcam, this past New Year's Eve was one of the most hilarious nights of my life and I love you guys for being part of it. Man, what a hoot. All those incriminating screencaps. :damnfunny: Incy, I totally love you and hope you'll be in San Fran. Usually when I see someone's arse before I meet them in person, it is from a movie's nude scene. But that's okay. =:)

Laureanna, you've done a lot of things with your life that encourage me to see I can accomplish them too. It is always wonderful to hear from you. I have to pinch myself when I think that I'll be meeting you, vison, Prim, Voronwe, Frelga, Teremia, and others at the moot in September. It is a dream, I tell you. A good one.

Jnyusa, just getting a birthday wish from you today put a smile on my face. :oops: You're one of those intimidatingly intelligent people, so I appologize for not talking with you more often, but know that I always read your posts and kind of implode from the awe and wonder. I kind of put you on a pedestal because you achieve with ease and humility things I couldn't do in a lifetime, and that fascinates me to no end.

Whistler - love love love. Love love love love love. P.S.: love. :bow:

theduffster and Rebecca - I am extremely fortunate to call you guys friends. Movies would not have been Movies without you, nor would the Ph00t. Thinking of y'all and Tooks and other Auntie's posters puts a big, stupid grin on my face. Those were my people. You guys are the best.

Sidonzo, you're one of those amazing women that it sorta scares me to think I may not have known you if you never joined here. When you made that signature of me in my Arwen cloak, I just beamed for days. I freaking love you and WILL meet you some day.

Donernilwen, you're one of the sweetest people I know and it is so lovely to chat with you. You will change lives, I know it. Cant' say enough good things about you. You're such a doll.

Sunsilver, it was so funny when you "celebrated" your luggage arriving in Florida by almost breaking Steve and Jen's phone. You're adorable. :D:D It was great meeting you at the John Howe signing. I will get those pictures up soon!

Lady of Rohan, holy frig funny. :Q Your posts are always must-reads. Always. I don't know how you manage it. Your creativity and wit are wonders to behold and your appearance in Florida was the bestest surprise!

Pips, such a compassionate young woman we are lucky to have with us. I'll never forget the card you made for me when my grandfather died and I was going through a rough time. One of the sweetest things anyone's ever done for me. I wanna meet you some day so that I can give you bear hugs in person! You're all sorts of wonderful. :hug:

Leoba, the moot goddess. My time in England would have been a disaster without you and Din, so I owe you guys big time. Seriously. Almost every day I think about how to get back there and I miss you guys. I'll be more talkative, I promise. :P I was so lost back then. Mooting was new and scary. Now, I've been broken in a bit and so hopefully will be more out-going. If not, I'm in England, who cares!11

Berhael, I look up to you plain and simple. It meant so much that you came over to talk with me at the moot and I love how we were able to have a long yak on the train ride home! You're a legend, rightfully so, and I look forward to the day I can meet you again. That twin of yours, Farawen, is pretty kick-ass too. ;)

Alandriel, Jae, Aggie, Mumpy, wilko, and other Europeans I've been able to meet or talk with on the boards - you guys were all there to get me through the days and I thank you for it. Such a great group of people, I don't know how it all worked out, but I'm glad to be part of something that includes y'all.

Impy, Griffy, Tiggy, nl, and other lovely folks from all corners of the world - in posting with you, even back on TORC, I discovered that the world was not all that unreachable. It was right in my hand, if I wanted it. These kind of realizations were invaluable to my growing up and you guys mean a lot to me because of it.

Squiddy, my Jersey savior. :D You took me through Boston and New York City to even your little hobbit home. Iggy alone was worth my trip to the States! You and Eric are fab, you exhibitionists, you (or do you even remember New Year's Eve?) :devil::LMAO: Things are good when Squiddy is around.

trazzie, I adore the avatar of you and your husband and its lovely keeping in touch with you on LiveJournal. I've been horribly slacking in that area, for which I appologize, but I'll get things together soon. :) I've gone into lurk mode and people probably think I'm ignoring them but its not the case. At b77, I've loved posting with you in the Lost thread. Such a great bunch there. :love:

Wampus Cat, Anthy, tinwe, and other h00mies - you guys rule and it's just comforting to see you post. I may not know you as well as I should, but I like being here with ya's.



It really bothered me when everyone was fighting because it was not a lie when I said I love you all. Not everybody I know really well, but you've all contributed to a bigger picture, that being my life. Whether I know you from TORC or b77 or real life or instant messenger or a friend of a friend, it all means a lot to me because my life was so empty for so long and posting was the only thing I enjoyed. All the good things in my life has been a result of posting with y'all or learning from you. I've grown up around you guys and really feel I've come a long way. It was my first moot in 2002 that I realized my hair was thinning and so I got even more self-conscious, but then this past January when I had dinner with a few of you in Boston, I was having so much fun and smiling and didn't even care if my teeth were funny-lookin' or not. And when I saw the photos from our moot, I wasn't embarrassed by my appearance at all. I had a great time and it really shines through. That's a first for me. Usually I get all critical and want them all deleted. In Florida last year, Lidless said I had grown up a lot from the first time he met me, so I will agree with him this time cuz I actually feel it now.

I always think of life as a series of tests and I'm now ready for the next one. The Gathering will be amazing. I feel ready to face it head on and not be shy and not waste time by pretending I can't be myself around you guys. I don't want to miss one second. This will be a summer I'll never forget.

There is probably more I could say, but man this thing was poorly-written and I really don't want to subject y'all to any more. :P I just wanted to write about the place everyone has in my life and in my heart, and how I'm only so happy right now because of the time I've spent with them in the past, or will spend with them in the future. :) I'd like to end with some song lyrics because the act of doing so is kind of geeky but sweet, just like me. ;) But really, I've been listening to it a lot and suddenly I realized that the lyrics described how I was feeling when I wrote this post. Enjoy!

[quote="In "Welfare", Gigi D'Agostino"]Killing time is just one way
Hangin' on to yesterday
Thinking what tomorrow’s planned for me
Today I know how to live my life
And I'm gonna do what I wish
Gonna make the world move along with me

I wanna see the sun that shines
Above the mountains white with snow
Look at the trees, the way they grow
The rivers flowing by

I wanna look up to the sky
And let my head whirl in the blue
There is no need to follow rules
But only time to play

I wanna feel...
La la la la
La la la la[/quote]


*E*

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TWT
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Posted: Wed 21 Jun , 2006 1:13 am
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Holy carp! (Yes, "carp".) I didn't read all that yet but I scrolled down and saw a list of names, selfishly I looked for mine. You know I love ya. The only reason I didn't read the hole post is because I'm on my way to work an all-nighter ( :bawl: ) and I'll read it when I get back. Your posts ALWAYS make for an excellent read. If I could sum you up in words I would, but I can't. ITs like you're above and beyond words, and I don't mean by that that you're a holy angelic creature, you are just undescribable but whenever I see your neme beside a new post (or even an old one) I warm up and want to read it. If I could use a word to describe you I think I would use: special. :)

P.S. I've always associated this emoticon: :uhoh: with you. You're the only one who ever uses it. :D


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elfshadow
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Posted: Wed 21 Jun , 2006 1:14 am
Kill the headlights and put it in neutral
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Oh, *E*, you are so awesome I can't even say. :hug: I'm ever so glad that I came to b77 because otherwise I'd never have met you! I can't wait to meet you in person, only two more weeks!




I have to say, though, when I first read the title for a split second I thought that you were talking about ecstasy as in the pill. So I kinda went :suspicious: and then :Q and then :scratch: and then :blackeye: . I'm glad you were talking about the other kind.


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cemthinae
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Posted: Wed 21 Jun , 2006 1:19 am
TTBK's cemmie
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I'm with Elsha... thought you were going to admit to a drug addiction... ;)

:hug: to you, babe. You rock my world. :)

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yovargas
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Posted: Wed 21 Jun , 2006 1:44 am
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Quote:
There is probably more I could say, but man this thing was poorly-written and I really don't want to subject y'all to any more.
Stop it! Stop it stop it stop it!! You're so freakin' awesome!!!
:bawl: (<== really, you got me teary-eyed).

You're such an inspiration with your big, crazy, beautiful heart. That's right - I said you are an inspiration, and you better damn well believe it! :rage:
Quote:
Yov, you're always so supportive of me. I don't know why
See above.

:love:

(Cool though they are, why did I get grouped with Axordil, Alatar, Tosh, & TED? :scratch: )


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*E*V*E*N*S*T*A*R*
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Posted: Wed 21 Jun , 2006 2:05 am
I've cried a thousand oceans, and I would cry a thousand more if that's what it takes to sail you home.
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TWT wrote:
I didn't read all that yet but I scrolled down and saw a list of names, selfishly I looked for mine.
That's why I bolded the names. I do it, too. :uhoh: One of those silly little things that I'm working on quitting. There were 325 people on this board alone I could have praised, and obviously I couldn't quite get there, so I need to stop feeling the slightest tinge of regret when others can't fit me in either. I know they're thinking of me, or at least the bigger picture I contribute to on these places.

It's a long post. Even I haven't read it all. :LMAO: Just had to say things and whatever people read or reply with is fine. It's about you guys not me.
Quote:
P.S. I've always associated this emoticon: :uhoh: with you. You're the only one who ever uses it. :D
I know! Dude gets no respect, wtf peeps? :uhoh:
elfshadow wrote:
I have to say, though, when I first read the title for a split second I thought that you were talking about ecstasy as in the pill. So I kinda went :suspicious: and then :Q and then :scratch: and then :blackeye: . I'm glad you were talking about the other kind.
Understandable. It was just the word to use to describe how stupidly content I am these days. DaveyJoe at TORC used to call me *E*cstasy. :halo: I'm of the "try hugs not drugs" variety, and yes I just crawled out of 5th grade.

cem, I get the same affects of alcohol and drugs by staying awake for 20+ hours or listening to a good song or having a good conversation. So really, I don't see the need. You won't hear of me having an addiction. To that at least. Mwaha.
yovargas wrote:
That's right - I said you are an inspiration, and you better damn well believe it! :rage:
If only because I've learned from the best.
Quote:
(Cool though they are, why did I get grouped with Axordil, Alatar, Tosh, & TED? :scratch: )
Ooo, I actually had a theme with that one. :P You were folks I never got to know until board77, even though I was familiar with the usernames at TORC, and I became extremely impressed with your posts here. At least three of you posted predominently in Manwe, where I was a lurker at best. When I needed this site to be more than just a TORC off-shoot, it was you guys you made me realize that without this place, I'd never have been able to see how amazing you and many others are. I am still not much for debating, but you five make everything agreeable. If you said, "jam this pencil in your kneecap," I'd be like, "hm, you make a good point. Why have I never done this before???" You're all so intelligent, well-mannered, and well-spoken. I just kind of sit back and watch and am glad to be here seeing you post.

I didn't want to do much grouping, though. :oops: At some, I was like, "uh oh... limited vocabulary to work with... how to mask it... Wait, I know!" :damnfunny::scared:




*E*

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Amrunelen
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Posted: Wed 21 Jun , 2006 3:23 am
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*E*, you rock. First hug when I arrived at the house in Florida. :D You have a wonderful personality and a certain way of making other people feel great.

I'm often a post skimmer too, but this one was just so great, I read the whole entire thing. :P I think it was worded just fine. I've found that sometimes writing comes out even better in a sleep deprived delerium. ;)

I'm glad to hear you're happy. You deserve it. :)

Looking forward to meeting you again in about 11 days!! :D :hug:

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"Morning has broken and I have felt a presence that disturbs
me with the joy of elevated thoughts; a sense sublime of
something far more deeply interfused, whose dwelling is the
light of setting suns, and the round ocean and the living air,
and the blue sky, and in the mind of man; a motion and a
spirit, that impels." -Wordsworth


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MaidenOfTheShieldarm
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Posted: Wed 21 Jun , 2006 3:44 am
Another bright red day
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*E*, I read that entire post. Almost every word, and I have the attention span of a goldfish. (Seriously. Me: "I read this great book yesterd--OOO shiny theatre posters! Oh, did I tell you about . . . etc etc.) So, poorly written? Not so much. My point is, that was one of the nicest, most wellwritten, most heartfelt posts I have ever read, and I am proud to be on your list. You are amazing. Really and truly. You are one of the only people that I can IM and know for a fact that whatever we talk about, it will be a really great and interesting conversation. Your posts, here and on LJ are always worth reading. I am so grateful that I got to know you here and have been able to meet you here in Boston. Can't wait to see you again in Framingham. :D

(How's that for mushy, eh? :uhoh:)

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*E*V*E*N*S*T*A*R*
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Posted: Wed 21 Jun , 2006 3:51 am
I've cried a thousand oceans, and I would cry a thousand more if that's what it takes to sail you home.
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Amrunelen wrote:
I've found that sometimes writing comes out even better in a sleep deprived delerium. ;)
Same here. There are things I am used to doing, or even depend on, :P which would so not fly in the professional world.
Quote:
Looking forward to meeting you again in about 11 days!! :D :hug:
Don't you mean...

[ img ] *whispers* 'leven days...

???

EDIT: Mosseh! Nothing wrong with mush. :salmon: It sounds good to me. *beams*




*E*

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Lidless
Post subject: Re: Nostalgia and ecstasy
Posted: Wed 21 Jun , 2006 4:11 am
Als u het leven te ernstig neemt, mist u de betekenis.
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*E*V*E*N*S*T*A*R* wrote:
In Florida last year, Lidless said I had grown up a lot from the first time he met me, so I will agree with him this time cuz I actually feel it now.
Jeez, nobody gets my jokes these days. I'm gonna have to lump you in with the HOF crowd, who seem to take everything I say seriously, ya big girlie.

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*E*V*E*N*S*T*A*R*
Post subject:
Posted: Wed 21 Jun , 2006 4:26 am
I've cried a thousand oceans, and I would cry a thousand more if that's what it takes to sail you home.
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I didn't think you were calling me immature or anything. I knew what you meant.

Or did I? :suspicious:

Yeah, I think so. You meant I opened up more instead of sitting around watching everybody else converse, right?

I do shamefully miss your jokes a lot, though. :rofl: It's so dumb because in real life I know exactly what you mean but online I always second guess and think, "wait, is he mad at me?" I can't read people at all. :P




*E*

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Lidless
Post subject:
Posted: Wed 21 Jun , 2006 4:30 am
Als u het leven te ernstig neemt, mist u de betekenis.
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Alas you're not the only one these days...but that's another story. Humour can be, and has to be, so PC on other sites. It's like being Lewis Black performing at the White House Correspondence Dinner. No fucking fangs. Anywhos, I diverge.

*E*, you are quite simply the most human human I've met. And I mean that as a compliment. It's been a privilege to watch you grow into it.

Last edited by Lidless on Wed 21 Jun , 2006 4:34 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Estel
Post subject: Re: Nostalgia and ecstasy
Posted: Wed 21 Jun , 2006 4:32 am
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*E*V*E*N*S*T*A*R* wrote:
I was present when Lidless and Estel first met. :Q
Was it really that scary and shocking to see us get together? :P
*E* wrote:
Actually, most of my embarrassments have involved Lidless or Estel. :roll: Crying in front of them, tripping over them, spilling refreshments over them... lots of stuff I'd like to erase from my brain and theirs forever.
Don't have to erase it from my brain - I don't remember it anyway ;) ;)

*E* wrote:
Lidless and Estel - you guys are my fucking heroes for life and I will never ever forget you. I know you hear that all the time cuz you guys just have that affect on people. But I'm such a fangirl. Perhaps that's why it was a long time before I figured out that we were friends. I put myself in the position to be like the less worthy one. Fangirls are low on the totem pole because it's all about the star, and you guys are stars.

:Q ..... :Q :Q You crazy. Seriously, you are. Do you have any idea how intimidated I was knowing I was going to be rooming with you at the Gathering?! You were crazy m00bies girl who made hilarious posts, knew everybody, and was loved by everyone. I was just a talk spammer who was lucky to know Rodia, Gimli and Enchie, and therefore have a little bit of their celebrity rub off on me. Lily and I showed up going... :Q :scarey: and you totally made us comfortable.
*E* wrote:
But then last year you said that I was like family and it hit me: I'm so lucky to hear that and not be in Heaven's Gate or something. No one's called me family before. Yep, I'm a loser, but that meant a lot to me. From the phone calls to the Christmas letters to the occassional private message or Yahoo chat, I just love y'all to pieces and no one really makes me as happy as you. No offense to them, I've just probably known you two longer and hung out with ya's more.
Cause you are family, you dolt :hug: You and Satchie and Ro and Gimli, and all these beautiful b77ers that we both know and love. I forgot, until I read your post, how much I love people on this board and how much I miss them. Everyone gets so caught up in drama and then you come along and make a post like this and remind us that there is family here. That's one of the reasons you're so loved. You remind all of us that there is love.

You're the farthest thing from a loser there can possibly be. There is a reason why everyone trusts you to take care of this board. There is a reason that you are so much adored by everyone who knows you. You are the best of us *E*. The very very best.

Now stop being shamelessly flattering. You've made me cry dammit, and crying makes me get a headache :blackeye:


:love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love:


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Lidless
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Posted: Wed 21 Jun , 2006 4:37 am
Als u het leven te ernstig neemt, mist u de betekenis.
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Estel has a headache tonight? Damn you, *E*. damn you to hell.

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Estel
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Posted: Wed 21 Jun , 2006 4:38 am
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Sex cures headaches you idiot :salmon: and you know that :neutral:

Are you saying I'm not getting any tonight? :Q :rage: :rage: :rage:


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Lidless
Post subject:
Posted: Wed 21 Jun , 2006 4:38 am
Als u het leven te ernstig neemt, mist u de betekenis.
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*E*, you rock.

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Rodia
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Posted: Wed 21 Jun , 2006 4:54 am
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You gotta be in the dictionary under "kickass wonderful" or something.

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

You DO rock!!!!

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*E*V*E*N*S*T*A*R*
Post subject: Re: Nostalgia and ecstasy
Posted: Wed 21 Jun , 2006 4:59 am
I've cried a thousand oceans, and I would cry a thousand more if that's what it takes to sail you home.
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Lidless, without you and Jen, it might not've happened. You're just good people and inspired me to try a little harder. (btw, a toned down Lewis Black? Ew, I don't think to think about it!)
Estel wrote:
Was it really that scary and shocking to see us get together? :P
No! But you know how people remember where they were when certain events took place, and how much more exciting it is to have been right there in person? Well, I was there, you know? It's exciting. :D Maybe it didn't make headlines like the Berlin Wall, but it's still important.
Quote:
I forgot, until I read your post, how much I love people on this board and how much I miss them.
Every now and again, people should browse through our memberlist. I just sat there smiling and thinking of all the things I've seen and read over the years. It's easy to get caught up, carried away, and lose sight, but if we just take a moment to look back where it started for us as individuals, then hopefully that'll put things in perspective.

Yes, I'm emotional, and some folks just come here for casual conversation. I certainly don't want to scare them away by building this place up as more than what they're looking for. It's different things to different people. And it's a home for me.
Quote:
Now stop being shamelessly flattering. You've made me cry dammit, and crying makes me get a headache :blackeye:
No trouble. I got choked up earlier and wow that hurts your throat after a while. :Wooper:

EDITED to add a few :damnfunny: :damnfunny::damnfunny::damnfunny::damnfunny: for the last posts that snuck in there.

Rodia, I don't think I'm in the dictionary, but if you look up "E" on wikipedia, there are some things there that suit me pretty darned well!




*E*

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halplm
Post subject:
Posted: Wed 21 Jun , 2006 5:12 am
b77 whipping boy
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*E* rocks!

hmm... seems I'm not alone in that opinion...

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TheEllipticalDisillusion
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Posted: Wed 21 Jun , 2006 6:08 am
Insolent Pup
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I had fun talking to you on the phone, E. It was very seemless, and probably could have gone on a lot longer, but those other selfish m77ters wanted E time. Those sons of bitches! :D

Anyway, E, you're quite a gal despite never meeting you. You keep this place alive. :cheers: :love:

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