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Craigslist Funny Posts

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Rebecca
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Thu 09 Jul , 2009 6:45 pm
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The Watcher wrote:
(hey, Rebecca, o/t, but I picked cherries last night, and I did not have to fend off even one evil Amish. :D :P)
Glad you got some; I heard theduffster and my family only picked 80lbs of cherries because the Amish got there first. :P

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*E*V*E*N*S*T*A*R*
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Thu 09 Jul , 2009 7:02 pm
I've cried a thousand oceans, and I would cry a thousand more if that's what it takes to sail you home.
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That ad is more enraging than funny. :P I was kind of almost sort of with them until the mandatory drug screenings! Downhill from there. Faster than a rollercoaster too, I might add. Except that I like rollercoasters.




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BrianIsSmilingAtYou
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Sat 12 Sep , 2009 8:39 pm
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Jude
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Sat 12 Sep , 2009 10:36 pm
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From Brian's link:
Quote:
I took your purse and felt a connection
"Tuesday night around 11:30. On 53rd btw 1st and 2nd. You came out of the subway and I followed you. You looked over your shoulder, saw me and started walking faster. I ran up, grabbed your arm, took your purse and ran away. I've done many a snatch-and-grab but no one has ever stuck in my mind like you. There was a quick moment when our eyes met that I felt something strong. I think you felt it too. If I wasn't so shy (or so committing a crime) I would have asked your name. I, of course, later got your name from your drivers license. So Jennifer if you'd like to get together for a drink sometime get back to me."
:damnfunny:

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Jude
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Sat 12 Sep , 2009 10:38 pm
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Oh - and this!
Quote:
Ferocious attack kitten
"This destructive kitty has been trained as a proud warrior and will fiercely defend your house, even against you. Has a very soft and furry belly, like a teddy bear - however he will bite your face if you try to touch it. For the love of God, someone please take this thing out of my house."

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RELStuart
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Sun 13 Sep , 2009 7:53 pm
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You hit me with your Prius
Date: 2009-07-25, 3:23PM PDT


Me - Bicyclist, heading to jury duty on 10th Street, Friday at 8:50am.
You - Prius driver, crossing over two lanes, hitting me with your car and speeding away.

I was hoping we could catch up for a cup of coffee, so I could get your views on the environment, and strangle you.

* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

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LalaithUrwen
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Sun 13 Sep , 2009 8:43 pm
The Grey Amaretto as Supermega-awesome Proud Heretic Girl
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Personally, I want the autographed copy of Plato's Republic. Despite the highlighting, I think it would be worth a lot!

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Jude
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Wed 16 Sep , 2009 1:38 pm
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Amazon hijacked: 10 funniest review threads

Excerpt:
Quote:
7) Uranium ore
Number of reviews: 167
Why it took off: Nuclear material doesn't usually come though the post.

Sample reviews:
I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Years ago and when I opened it today, it was half empty.

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*E*V*E*N*S*T*A*R*
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Fri 11 Dec , 2009 1:00 pm
I've cried a thousand oceans, and I would cry a thousand more if that's what it takes to sail you home.
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Screencap in case it's removed: http://pics.livejournal.com/juicybrisket/pic/0003z7aw


http://chicago.craigslist.org/nwc/m4w/1503307713.html

Edward Seeking His Bella
Date: 2009-12-09, 11:09PM CST

I'm looking for an unattractive, unintelligent, clumsy, graceless, co-dependent, and immature girl with no ambition and a swollen ego who is interested in getting married and having nonstop sex (often while you're unconscious). I believe in traditional courtship: I'll break into your home and watch you sleep, eavesdrop on your conversations, dictate your choice of friends, and give you friendly reminders that deceiving your family is necessary if it fits my whims. You can tell me how perfect I am and share make-up tips so I can sparkle just right.

About me: despite my interest in stalking young girls and waiting until marriage to have sex with them while they're unconscious, I have no discernible personality. I'm a vegetarian, which means I only eat meat that comes from animals. I believe family is important. Mine, that is. After we're together, you won't be seeing much of yours. Also, I'm perfect in every way. I mean, so perfect you're not even capable of seeing how perfect I am.

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LalaithUrwen
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Fri 11 Dec , 2009 3:09 pm
The Grey Amaretto as Supermega-awesome Proud Heretic Girl
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:LMAO:

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vison
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Fri 11 Dec , 2009 3:27 pm
Best friends forever
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:LMAO:

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Rebecca
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Mon 28 Dec , 2009 10:23 pm
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2 interesting posts on the Free section of craigslist today....
(copied and pasted in case they're removed)


Free beer. (West Warwick)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Free stuffed Grizzly Beer from an entrance to a bar. Beer Stands about 6.5 foot tall, weighs around 150 pounds. You will need help moving it out. Email me if you want it.

[ img ]
http://providence.craigslist.org/zip/1527726904.html




Free Animal Bones. (Conventry)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

my dog dug up a bunch of bones. Was wondering if anyone wanted them for crafts. Email me if interested.
[ img ] [ img ]
http://providence.craigslist.org/zip/1527744343.html

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Jude
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Mon 28 Dec , 2009 10:37 pm
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:Q Surely the second one is a joke? They couldn't really be that naïf.

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LalaithUrwen
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Tue 29 Dec , 2009 3:58 am
The Grey Amaretto as Supermega-awesome Proud Heretic Girl
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:Q

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*E*V*E*N*S*T*A*R*
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Tue 29 Dec , 2009 7:56 am
I've cried a thousand oceans, and I would cry a thousand more if that's what it takes to sail you home.
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Joined: Fri 29 Oct , 2004 2:22 am
 
*irl jaw-drop at the bones*




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*E*V*E*N*S*T*A*R*
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Sat 16 Jan , 2010 5:35 am
I've cried a thousand oceans, and I would cry a thousand more if that's what it takes to sail you home.
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http://losangeles.craigslist.org/sfv/cl ... 63643.html
Quote:
4 SALE: BARELY-USED LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW – MAKE ME AN OFFER!!! (Universal Studios)
Date: 2010-01-13, 3:48PM PST


This is a chance of a lifetime to own your very own late night talk show--guaranteed to last for up to seven months!! Really must see to appreciate.

Information for potential buyers:

- Measures 100’ x 100’ x 32’ – plenty of room for a futon!

- Designed for 11:35 but can be easily moved

- Band can be sold separately

- Buyer must honor Barry Manilow booking next Thursday


MAKE ME YOUR BEST OFFER!!!!! (Also willing to trade for Coldplay tickets.)


* Location: Universal Studios

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PostingID: 1551463643
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BrianIsSmilingAtYou
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Sat 16 Jan , 2010 6:25 am
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http://losangeles.craigslist.org/sfv/cl ... 63643.html
Quote:
4 SALE: BARELY-USED LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW – MAKE ME AN OFFER!!! (Universal Studios)
Date: 2010-01-13, 3:48PM PST
Reply to: sale-tntdd-1551463643@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

This is a chance of a lifetime to own your very own late night talk show--guaranteed to last for up to seven months!! Really must see to appreciate.



Information for potential buyers:



- Measures 100’ x 100’ x 32’ – plenty of room for a futon!



- Designed for 11:35 but can be easily moved



- Band can be sold separately



- Buyer must honor Barry Manilow booking next Thursday





MAKE ME YOUR BEST OFFER!!!!! (Also willing to trade for Coldplay tickets.)
BrianIs :) AtYou

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*E*V*E*N*S*T*A*R*
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Sat 16 Jan , 2010 6:37 am
I've cried a thousand oceans, and I would cry a thousand more if that's what it takes to sail you home.
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Posts: 11477
Joined: Fri 29 Oct , 2004 2:22 am
 
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LalaithUrwen
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Sat 16 Jan , 2010 3:50 pm
The Grey Amaretto as Supermega-awesome Proud Heretic Girl
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I looked for that the other night and couldn't find it. Thanks for posting!

I love Conan, and I'm so annoyed with NBC. :x

Did you watch last night when he showed the different offers he's gotten? :LMAO: The cat was the best.

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