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Craigslist Funny Posts

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*E*V*E*N*S*T*A*R*
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Sun 08 Mar , 2009 3:38 am
I've cried a thousand oceans, and I would cry a thousand more if that's what it takes to sail you home.
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That's really sad. Having to give up a pet and not being able to afford a roach, ;) but also if anyone does buy it and pays the adoption fee lol.




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theduffster
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Sun 08 Mar , 2009 5:02 pm
Damn those Amish!!
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Sometimes I wonder about you, Rebecca. :scratch: What were you looking for, that you found that ad??





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Rebecca
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Sun 08 Mar , 2009 5:05 pm
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Rebecca
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Sat 28 Mar , 2009 1:49 am
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Ah, how I love the Best of Craigslist. :D

Quote:
Dear Mr. Scammer..I am sorry - m4w

Dear Mr. Scammer
I owe you a few apologies:
• I am sorry for responding and saying sure I am happy to engage in a bizarre business deal with you knowing full well it isn’t real.
• I am sorry you wasted time to print a horrible fake check.
• I am sorry you spent $4.90 UPS’ing it to me overnight.
• I am sorry for taking a few days to get back to you after I got the check and ask you for your phone number which you can’t give me. I knew that and still I emailed you for the phone number.
• I am sorry that I lied to you and said I could not find a western union office near me, making you look them up, emailing me a list and me telling you those two liquor stores are shut down.
• I am sorry that I lied to you about getting pissed at the western union office because they wanted $1.75 to cut a check and that I said that’s robbery and left in a huff. The truth is I never went there in the first place. Sorry for wasting your time that day.
• I’m sorry I lied the next day after you threaten to call the FBI and local police on me because I cashed your check and would not pay you. I knew you would not, but I wrote you an email begging you not to call the police and that I would pay you tomorrow after I cashed the check.
• I’m sorry that I lied the next day and said the western union office girl was rude to me so I left in anger, again delaying your money by another day.
• Im sorry I lied about sending the money to western union in your name vs the shipper so you could not pick it up. I realize this cost you a day or so.
• I am really sorry that I lied and said that the money order was at your western union, but off by 1 zip code making you drive 30 minutes to find out I am a liar.
• Your last email to me was justified. Obviously from your language you were pissed. The fact that as you "YELLED” and your grasp of the English language seemed to fade away like my Mom’s when she is livid showed me what a bad person I am.
• Your phone call from Africa? was upsetting because as you were trying to explain to me how to go down to western union and pay the $1.75 and you would pick up the fee, I realized how frustrated you were getting. I also lied about being hard of hearing and asking you to yell. Sorry.
All in all, I am sorry for sucking up your bandwidth. I realize that my actions probably sucked up 6-10 hours of your time and kept you from fleecing some gullible person in America.
Please forgive me. Go ahead and send me another forged check and I will send you my cash to your shipper. Please try me again. Even though I lied you to about 15 times I won’t do it again.
Your friendly computer person.

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Pippin4242
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Sat 28 Mar , 2009 4:13 am
Hasta la victoria, siempre
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Guess it's too late, and probably geographically unfeasible, but I've always wanted a giant Madagascan hissing cockroach. :(
At least I still have my mice. :D I guess I just like pets that fit in the palm of your hand. :P (Or currently using the lowest loop of your scarf as a giant hammock, out of which they can peer to watch you type).

-Pips-

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Rebecca
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Sat 28 Mar , 2009 1:51 pm
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I don't really want a cockroach watching me type, thanks. :suspicious:

:poke: :P

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BrianIsSmilingAtYou
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Sat 18 Apr , 2009 5:56 pm
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*E*V*E*N*S*T*A*R*
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Sat 18 Apr , 2009 9:23 pm
I've cried a thousand oceans, and I would cry a thousand more if that's what it takes to sail you home.
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That just got sadder and sadder. Yikes! Is it a personal ad? Cuz he's not selling anything.
Quote:
i have to hide them when my family comes to visit, or else they'll think i am retarded
I only started to put some of my action figures away when I ran out of room. :P If I was a gay guy into nazi dolls, we totally would have hit it off!

... until I saw him whining about it on craigslist.

No, I kid. But was his picture removed? I don't see one and maybe that was the punchline haha.




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LalaithUrwen
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Sat 18 Apr , 2009 10:50 pm
The Grey Amaretto as Supermega-awesome Proud Heretic Girl
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:LMAO:

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Holbytla
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Mon 29 Jun , 2009 12:27 am
Grumpy cuz I can be
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All I can say is LOL. :D
Quote:
Curb alert - now til 6:30 am (Westport)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: sale-7b9bq-1244384936@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-06-28, 8:20PM EDT



hi, for garbage pick up tomorrow i've put out the following at 464 Old County Rd in Westport. Trash pick up is at 6:30am so pick up beforehand if interested:

- 4x6 pottery barn oriental rug (originally paid $300+) - my cat peed on it twice - had it professionally cleaned but still an odor - maybe someone can deal with the odor or wants to try having it cleaned again
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Riverthalos
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Mon 29 Jun , 2009 3:38 am
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:damnfunny:

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MariaHobbit
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Mon 29 Jun , 2009 1:52 pm
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Actually, if you have a product that can neutralize cat pee odors, that might be a good thing to pick up for free. We bought something once that worked great, called "Odo-ban". Might work on a rug, if one could wash it out thoroughly.

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*E*V*E*N*S*T*A*R*
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Mon 29 Jun , 2009 7:25 pm
I've cried a thousand oceans, and I would cry a thousand more if that's what it takes to sail you home.
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tbh I'm more offended by the expiration date of the offer, and the expectation of running out to an "old country road" before 6:30 a.m. on a weekend.

Obviously the lister wasn't expecting much demand for peed-on oriental rugs, and probably just thought to put it on craigslist at the last possible minute before they drifted off to sleep, but all the same. Way to make someone in need of piss-covered free rugs feel worse about their lot in life. :P




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Riverthalos
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Mon 29 Jun , 2009 7:49 pm
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They micturated on your rug, Dude.

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Jude
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Thu 09 Jul , 2009 5:30 pm
Aspiring to heresy
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Worst apartment ad ever

:Q Holy swear words.

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Riverthalos
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Thu 09 Jul , 2009 5:40 pm
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Is this an apartment or a low security prison??
Quote:
LIGHTS: The lights in your basement suite and in the day room are not to be tampered with. If a light needs repair, report the condition to the Landlord.

WAKE-UP: Wake up will be at 5:30am each morning. All ceiling lights in the suite will be turned on automatically.

LIGHTS OUT: Ceiling lights in the suite will be turned off at 11:30pm.

CONTRABAND: The following items are considered contraband – alcohol, illegal drugs, tobacco, weapons, lock picking equipment. If any contraband is discovered to be in your possession, you will be subject to a minimum $1,000.00 fine. In addition, your items will be confiscated permanently. Second offense – you will be evicted without notice. A bailiff will escort you and your belongings off the premises. Your security deposit will not be returned.

SMOKING: The basement suite is non-smoking. Anyone in possession of tobacco products of any kind or any lighter or matches, will have their contraband items confiscated and will be fined $100.00.

INSPECTIONS: The Landlord will conduct unannounced inspections to ensure that these rules and regulations are being followed.

VISITATION: Visitation periods will be on Saturdays and Sundays from 1:00 p.m. until 3:00 p.m. All visitors and their vehicles are subject to search while on landlord property. Refusal to allow a search can result in their being barred from all future visitation privileges. All visitors must sign the Visitor's Log. Unauthorized visitors will be escorted from the property, and the tenant will be fined $250.00.

I.D. BRACELETS: Each tenant will be issued an I.D. bracelet with his/her photograph. It must be worn at all times. If you lose your I.D. bracelet or it is broken, you will be required to purchase a new one at the nominal cost of $5.00.

EXERCISE YARD: The tenant will have access to the exercise yard in the area to the back of the property for 2 hours per day from 4:00 pm to 6:00 pm. The tenant is not allowed to bring any personal property to the exercise yard. Once the tenant leaves the exercise yard on a particular day, he or she may not return. No boisterous behavior is allowed in the exercise yard. There is no smoking allowed in the exercise yard. Minimum fine for exercise yard infractions is $50.00.
And never mind the excessive fees to do laundry. And they have the gall to wonder why they've got not takers!!

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MariaHobbit
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Thu 09 Jul , 2009 5:42 pm
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That's got to be a joke. :)

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The Watcher
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Thu 09 Jul , 2009 5:54 pm
Same as it ever was
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If it is not a joke, that landlord would be in serious violation of the tenant code of rights at least here in Wisconsin.

If the ad is for real, why does he not simply advertise the place with his similar minded church congregation? :D

Last edited by The Watcher on Thu 09 Jul , 2009 6:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Rebecca
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Thu 09 Jul , 2009 6:37 pm
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Wow. :Q

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The Watcher
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Thu 09 Jul , 2009 6:41 pm
Same as it ever was
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Rebecca wrote:
Wow. :Q
(hey, Rebecca, o/t, but I picked cherries last night, and I did not have to fend off even one evil Amish. :D :P)

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Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 miles per second, is a cow that has been dropped from a helicopter.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

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Glaciers melting in the dead of night and the superstars sucked into the supermassive...
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