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Craigslist Funny Posts

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Holbytla
Post subject: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Tue 03 Mar , 2009 2:07 am
Grumpy cuz I can be
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I've been searching on Craigslist a lot lately for furniture apartments and things of that sort.
I get tired of searching and take breaks by reading some of the silliness that goes on over there.

Oh my.

Some people are really scary and strange. Stranger than me even. :blackeye:

This one had me rolling on the floor. :D
Quote:
I want to have sex in a bathtub full of breakfast cereal - m4w

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2008-12-03, 11:55AM PST



I am looking for a kindred spirit that enjoys, sex, baths, and cereal. So why not try them all at the same time? Now, be warned… I have some very specific stipulations for this fantasy of mine:

1) The cereal must have less than 2 grams of protein per serving. That’s right, the pure sugar stuff kids eat to get roofed like junkies on speed. These can include:

Fruity Pebbles
Count Chocula
Cookie Crisp
Cocoa Pebbles
Cocoa Puffs
Golden Crisps
Honey Smacks
Cap’n Crunch’s Peanut Butter Crunch
Cap’n Crunch
Apple Jacks
Froot Loops
Corn Pops

If you have other suggestions I am more than happy to entertain them.

2) It must be 2% milk, having sex in a bathtub full of cereal is no time for moderation. Plus, I need to get my daily dose of Vitamins A and D.

3) You must be comfortable in the doggie style position. I don’t see any other way to avoid shrinkage and still let you enjoy your cereal before it becomes too mushy.

4) If you insist of photography/videography I will need to insist that I wear a Mexican wrestling mask a la Nacho Libre.

5) I plan on making this a safe encounter to please feel free to bring your own utensils.

After we are finished if you feel like you need something to make you regular again, I should have some Grape-Nuts that you can nibble on. If you are serious, send me a photo, I need to make sure you can fit into the tub.


Location: bathtub
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 943626343
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/943626343.html" target="_blank

Last edited by Holbytla on Tue 03 Mar , 2009 2:22 am, edited 1 time in total.

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LalaithUrwen
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Tue 03 Mar , 2009 2:12 am
The Grey Amaretto as Supermega-awesome Proud Heretic Girl
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:Q

Wow.

I sure hope he's not actually a cereal killer... .

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Rebecca
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Tue 03 Mar , 2009 2:13 am
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This one's a little bit older, but I still think it's funny:
Quote:
CAT FOUND!
Date: 2008-11-29, 9:25PM EST


I found this guy the other day on my back porch. I tried feeding him and it turns out that he is not very friendly because i think he may be scared. Not quite sure the breed but I am assuming he is part Siamese. I have him in a crate because he is not really house broken. If he is yours please reply.
[ img ] [ img ]
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/fay/938646501.html" target="_blank

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*E*V*E*N*S*T*A*R*
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Tue 03 Mar , 2009 2:25 am
I've cried a thousand oceans, and I would cry a thousand more if that's what it takes to sail you home.
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Oh damn, I hurt myself with that one. The look on the thing's face! Der, you think he's not friendly? :damnfunny:




*E*

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Rebecca
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Tue 03 Mar , 2009 2:26 am
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Hehe, here's another one:
Quote:
SLIGHTLY DISGRUNTLED DIRT: nevermind
Date: 2008-05-27, 9:01PM PDT


NEVERMIND! Dirt changed dirt's mind. Dirt is too afraid of craigslist strangers to give out dirt's address. Dirt will just suck it up and spread around the yard, sometime... soon. (Oh who is dirt kidding? Dirt will live in the driveway for months). But NEVERMIND. And thank you anyway for the nice emails, except for those of you who were spooky, creepy and/or really insane.

___________________________________________________

Hello.

I am dirt.

See?
[ img ]

I need to move out of the driveway. I'm not really that much dirt. Just what was left over after digging fence post holes.

Could you haul me away? Far, far away?

I am in Wedgwood. That's just North of the Univ of Washington a bit.

I will pay one person $20 to haul me off. Please?

Someone emailed me for my measurements. That's kind of a personal question, but I guess we're friends, right? I'm about a 6ftx8ftx3ft pile, but only in the center. I'm pretty small around the edges.

Thanks in advance.

Yours truly,

Pile of Dirt

P.S. I am slightly disgruntled because some people cannot read. I am only dirt. I only have $20. It's not like I'm mud or fancy rocks. I'm just dirt. DIRT CHEAP. Please don't waste dirt's time by emailing dirt and asking for more money. DIRT isn't here to subsidize your craigslist lifestyle. Dirt just wants to be gone.
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/697782542.html" target="_blank

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Holbytla
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Tue 03 Mar , 2009 2:33 am
Grumpy cuz I can be
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Quote:
Pink Upholstered Vagina Couch

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2008-01-15, 11:46AM PST



For Sale - beautiful pink "vagina couch" that I made in art school and no longer have space for. The couch is large: measures 5' 3" long, 3' 3" wide at the middle, and stands 2' 3" tall (and is heavy like a couch). The pics are from my portfolio and are several years old; as a result, the couch has some scuffmarks and stains around the bottom from being moved, but otherwise is in excellent shape. A professional upholsterer helped me build the couch, so it is also functional and durable as a piece of furniture. The couch must be picked up in Mendocino, a 3-hour drive north of SF. I am asking for $600 and a loving home! Call Willow at [deleted] or reply to posting.
I won't post the pics, but I will post links to the pics. :D

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sf ... 6210.1.jpg" target="_blank

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sf ... 6210.2.jpg" target="_blank

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sf ... 6210.3.jpg" target="_blank

I'm thinking about buying it. :love:

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Rebecca
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Tue 03 Mar , 2009 2:55 am
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Hehe.
Quote:
Walmart Greeter - m4m - 25 (Northside Walmart)
Date: 2008-09-14, 8:02AM CDT

This might be a longshot, but I think I sensed a bit of reluctance when you were asking me to leave the store.

You: Sexy grandpa type in Walmart vest
Me: Bicycle helmet, Unicorn Power tshirt, assless chaps and flipflops.


* Location: Northside Walmart
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

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*E*V*E*N*S*T*A*R*
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Tue 03 Mar , 2009 3:04 am
I've cried a thousand oceans, and I would cry a thousand more if that's what it takes to sail you home.
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I've either seen that couch before or one like it. Would NEVER go near it. Don't like the feeling that a couch is trying to eat me or something.

This coin purse seems really practical though.




*E*

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Holbytla
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Tue 03 Mar , 2009 3:09 am
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Oh my. It looks like it has teeth. :Q

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*E*V*E*N*S*T*A*R*
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Tue 03 Mar , 2009 3:11 am
I've cried a thousand oceans, and I would cry a thousand more if that's what it takes to sail you home.
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lol we may have a disagreement here. Teeth don't bother me if they're "zipped", while you seem to be okay with a big gaping mouth. :P




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elfshadow
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Wed 04 Mar , 2009 3:54 pm
Kill the headlights and put it in neutral
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The vagina dentata!! :Q :Q :Q


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Axordil
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Wed 04 Mar , 2009 4:07 pm
Not so deep as a well
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elfshadow wrote:
The vagina dentata!! :Q :Q :Q

Wasn't that a song from Lion King? :scratch:

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*E*V*E*N*S*T*A*R*
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Wed 04 Mar , 2009 4:17 pm
I've cried a thousand oceans, and I would cry a thousand more if that's what it takes to sail you home.
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[ attachment ]
funny-comicvaginadentata.jpg (157.18 KiB) Viewed 8486 times



*E*

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Ara-anna
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Wed 04 Mar , 2009 4:18 pm
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:rofl: :rofl:

So now we know where cabbage patch kids come from.

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Riverthalos
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Wed 04 Mar , 2009 8:53 pm
bioalchemist
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:LMAO: :rofl: :damnfunny:

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yovargas
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Wed 04 Mar , 2009 11:10 pm
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:bow: to *E*, the Queen of the Internet :bow:


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*E*V*E*N*S*T*A*R*
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Wed 04 Mar , 2009 11:22 pm
I've cried a thousand oceans, and I would cry a thousand more if that's what it takes to sail you home.
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Not really, I forgot to ask Holby if he'd seen the movie Teeth all the way back there. :( Ax's post was the sledgehammer to the brain saying, "dummy, you have comics for that, post 'em already!"

But yeah, you never know when you'll need to use vagina dentata pics...




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theduffster
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Wed 04 Mar , 2009 11:35 pm
Damn those Amish!!
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And I was just about to google "vagina dentata", too! I don't need to any more, thanks, *E*.

I loved the dirt pile one. :rofl:

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TheMary
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Wed 04 Mar , 2009 11:54 pm
I took the stars from my eyes, and then I made a map, And knew that somehow I could find my way back; Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too - So I stayed in the darkness with you
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Be careful on Craigslist that's how I found my roachy Long Beach apartment, blech!

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Rebecca
Post subject: Re: Craigslist Funny Posts
Posted: Sun 08 Mar , 2009 3:26 am
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Speaking of roaches.... ewww. :P
Quote:
Pet roach - Scoochie
Date: 2008-10-13, 2:15AM CDT


I am having to part with my pet roach, as I am no longer able to afford to feed him. With the way the economy is going, I am forced to do this. It hurts to let him go, as I have been with him since he was just a larvae. He loves sitting in your hand and watching Jerry Springer, and will sometimes crawl up your pants at night to keep warm. Items included will be his 2 story deluxe shoebox highrise, custom yarn leash, and miniature food and water bowls along with a 6 pack of Coors light, his favorite beer. I will need to interview the prospective caretakers to find the right fit, and a small adoption fee may apply (he is up to date on his shots, and has recently been wormed). Please, help me find Scoochie a forever home!!
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