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Edit and update: I'm a loser.

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Eruname
Post subject: Re: Please send loads of good vibes my way!
Posted: Fri 03 Apr , 2009 3:07 pm
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I have a bad, bad feeling I didn't get it. At first the head nurse said she'd let me know by the end of this week but after I did that bit of work with them she said end of this week or beginning of the next. It's Friday and a little after 4pm and I have this horrible feeling whoever got the job was called today with the good news and I'll get a lovely rejection letter in the mail on Monday or Tuesday.

It doesn't help that my current job is getting worse. I don't know what I'm going to do. :(

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Wilma
Post subject: Re: Please send loads of good vibes my way!
Posted: Sat 04 Apr , 2009 12:19 am
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:hug: :hug: :hug:

OK, if it didn't go well, is it possible you could ask why they didn't take you? Also, maybe they just were not able to call. Maybe you did get the job. Give it until Monday.

I tend to do the horrible feeling thing too, mull over it, and then realize/discover everything is fine and went the way I wanted it to, and that I wasted some mental energy. Don't give up on these people just yet. Also if Monday passes, maybe you can call and ask? It shows that you are really interested. I dunno. I am not as experienced.
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
In the meantime, is there any way you can work at an animal shelter? (I don't know how decently paying those jobs are), it might be something that you may like more then your current job and still relates to animals. That way if you feel you have to leave your current job and still don't get the job in your field just yet, you can get a sort of in between job.

I know how demoralizing some jobs can be. :hug:

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enchantress
Post subject: Re: Please send loads of good vibes my way!
Posted: Sat 04 Apr , 2009 4:12 pm
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I'm late as usual, but still crossing my fingers for you Eru :)
... and if it doesn't work out, at least it was a learning experience to go to the "hands-on-interview" and the fact you were one of their top choices bodes well for other jobs in the same area.
I'm having a bit of a hard time at my current job too (I changed in January) and I know how job stress can wear a person down. Hoping you get this position or another one in veterinary practice soon!
What do you do currently Eru? Its not animal care related?

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Eruname
Post subject: Re: Edit and update: I'm a loser.
Posted: Thu 09 Apr , 2009 3:33 pm
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My feelings were right. I got a rejection letter in the mail today. According to the letter I was a strong candidate but someone else's experience and qualifications matched the job more closely.

I was a fucking veterinary nurse. I've done more than what a nurse assistant does. But I couldn't even getting that job.

I'm devestated. I feel like such a loser and a failure. I'm seriously doubting that I'm ever going to get into the veterinary field. I don't have the means to go get any qualifications for a nurse assistant so I'll always be behind. The Brits place way too much fucking value on damned qualifications. These jobs don't appear to open up that often and it's extremely competitive. I don't think I have a prayer of getting a trainee nurse position because all of the clinics promote internally.

Throughout the past few years I've kept thinking that I'm better than the shit jobs that I've worked. That I should be working something that uses my mind a lot more...that I'm capeable of more and didn't belong in those jobs. I'm thinking that I was wrong. Maybe this is what life is meant to be for me...that I'm not any better and that I am one of those people who will always work shit jobs. Maybe clearing tables, washing dishes and taking food orders whilst working every fucking weekend is what I'm meant to do. I thought I'd grow up and be some sort of professional. It doesn't look like it. I don't know how much more of this sort of life I can cope with though.

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Wilma
Post subject: Re: Edit and update: I'm a loser.
Posted: Thu 09 Apr , 2009 3:49 pm
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Oh, Eru I am so sorry. :hug: But you are not a loser.

Is there any form of top up training for foreigners so they can be up to stuff for Brit qualifications? (Being foreigner can major suxors. In Canada if you are a foreign doc depending on the country you have to start from scratch again).

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LalaithUrwen
Post subject: Re: Edit and update: I'm a loser.
Posted: Thu 09 Apr , 2009 4:13 pm
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:( I'm so sorry, Eru.

I know you're upset right now (and well you should be), and you probably don't want to hear well-meaning advice or anything. So I won't give any advice. (I don't have any to give anyway.) But I will say that you are so absolutely not a loser. I know you feel that way, but it's not the truth.

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ToshoftheWuffingas
Post subject: Re: Edit and update: I'm a loser.
Posted: Thu 09 Apr , 2009 4:41 pm
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That's tough Eru, especially when you need a break so much. Look back at my post though.
I used to be on the opposite side of the table, conducting interviews and appointing people. I remember how exasperating it was to get two or even three people who were all going to be good in the job. It wasn't the difficulty of choosing as much as the knowledge that I'd be losing good people who would be good in the job.
Now they didn't have to say you were a strong candidate but they did. Get in touch with them and thank them for the interview. Tell them that you enjoyed seeing their practice and if another vacancy comes up you'd still love to work there. You never know.
You might tell them that you want to keep your hand in with veterinary skills and if they hear of a local job you'd be grateful if someone let you know with a phonecall or e-mail. I doubt if you'd get any news of one but it will show them you are still serious and again, you never know.

Good luck with the next attempt. I know it's soul destroying looking for jobs but really really really, if you fail to get a job you aren't worthless.

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Axordil
Post subject: Re: Edit and update: I'm a loser.
Posted: Thu 09 Apr , 2009 4:54 pm
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It's hard not to feel personally rejected when one is professionally rejected. I've had my share of interviews that went nowhere, and we won't even talk about trying to get published.

The trick is, I think, to be able to separate what one does from who one is. If one is working in a field one feels called to, that's even harder: but even for the most dedicated souls, our jobs, our callings even, are not us.

That addresses only the existential pain, though, not the practical "can't I do better than this?" pain. And the simple truth is that circumstances outside our control often dictate whether we can, in fact, do better at any given moment.

Just out of curiosity, are there any public sector vet nurse positions out there, Eru?

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Berhael
Post subject: Re: Edit and update: I'm a loser.
Posted: Thu 09 Apr , 2009 8:49 pm
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I'm sorry to hear this Eru. :(
I don't have any advice but I think Tosh's sounds very good.
:hug:

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Leoba
Post subject: Re: Edit and update: I'm a loser.
Posted: Fri 10 Apr , 2009 3:45 pm
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I'm sorry about this Eru, but Tosh is right - when you're ready, try reading his post again.

You were a great vet nurse before you moved over here and you will be great again. Keep telling yourself that and keep applying for anything that comes up.

I lost count of the number of interviews I went through before I got my current job. I was good enough to do all of them but someone else was just that little bit better. Please, please, please do not run yourself down (at one stage, I actually wore an elastic band on my wrist and "pinged" it everytime I heard negative talk in my head - it did help keep it under control).

Last edited by Leoba on Fri 10 Apr , 2009 5:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Nin
Post subject: Re: Edit and update: I'm a loser.
Posted: Fri 10 Apr , 2009 4:51 pm
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Eru, it's very rare to get a job at your first interview. I don't know a single person who managed it.

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laureanna
Post subject: Re: Edit and update: I'm a loser.
Posted: Fri 10 Apr , 2009 5:23 pm
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:hug: I agree with the posters in this thread, except for you Eru - you are not a loser. You are a job hunter, and you are still hunting, you are not defeated. But you do sound very blue. Is there low-cost counseling available to you? You may be able to use it to project a more forceful, enticing persona. I hate interviews, especially when they tell me later that I didn't get the job because I wasn't perky enough. Engineers don't have to be perky, for heaven's sake. But unfortunately, some interviewers are more interested in your appeal than your skills.

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Farawen
Post subject: Re: Edit and update: I'm a loser.
Posted: Fri 10 Apr , 2009 6:42 pm
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Eru, not getting a job after one job interview does NOT make you a loser!

And to me it sounded as if it actually went quite well - they called you, told you they were impressed and wanted you to come in and do a follow-up interview. And you did your best! I know you don't see it that way, but that's a success, really.

Job hunting is hard, and sucks, and it does not get easier when you want to get out of your current field of employment as fast as possible. But first job interview and they already liked you enough to have you come in for a follow-up interview? Not bad. :)

I'm really sorry you didn't get the job, and I hope you get another chance quickly.


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Wilma
Post subject: Re: Edit and update: I'm a loser.
Posted: Fri 10 Apr , 2009 7:11 pm
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Oh I just realized if even volunteering at an animal shelter (if you are able) could help you get some credentials/experience in Britain. Also it could help you build a network of contacts connected to your field. Getting a callback for an interview is a really good sign that people want you, it's just a matter of getting to know the right people. Also It could help take your mind off of your current job.

I know it's hard but don't get demoralized :hug:

Last edited by Wilma on Fri 10 Apr , 2009 8:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Lidless
Post subject: Re: Edit and update: I'm a loser.
Posted: Fri 10 Apr , 2009 8:36 pm
Als u het leven te ernstig neemt, mist u de betekenis.
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You're not a loser - you're a trier, and they are never losers.

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Areanor
Post subject: Re: Edit and update: I'm a loser.
Posted: Fri 10 Apr , 2009 8:56 pm
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:yes: - keep your head up, Eru :hug:

Can you get a job with a photographer in the meantime? Maybe there's a vacancy for you?

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Legolas the elf
Post subject: Re: Edit and update: I'm a loser.
Posted: Sat 11 Apr , 2009 5:13 am
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Eru, I totally feel your disappointment. And, IMHO, you, an all-around competent person, and are just as capable of becoming a professional as any other professional out there. I find it VERY hard to believe you are "meant" to wash dishes the rest of your life. :P

TW said:
Quote:
Now they didn't have to say you were a strong candidate but they did. Get in touch with them and thank them for the interview. Tell them that you enjoyed seeing their practice and if another vacancy comes up you'd still love to work there. You never know.
Damn right. Keep your chin up, and take it in stride. It stings, and I know it feels overwhelming at this point, but there ARE more positions out there. Maybe not in the near vicinity where you ideally want them to be, but they're out there. I also like what Ax said:
Quote:
The trick is, I think, to be able to separate what one does from who one is. If one is working in a field one feels called to, that's even harder: but even for the most dedicated souls, our jobs, our callings even, are not us.
Rejection hurts when my self-worth is based on someone else's opinion of me. (And when it comes to work, my ego gets really big). But I know when you work hard for something and it doesn't happen, it hurts. Use this experience as an excuse to take some time to be kind to yourself, and to re-evaluate all of the truly good that is in you, on the inside, that makes you the great person you are. Take a day off and spend some time outside in the woods, reading or something, and reflecting on the DEEP value and goodness that is certainly in you...that has nothing to do w/ any profession or any form in this material world.

But back to your professional goals: They WILL happen, if you persevere. I imagine being a vet is very competitive, and being an American over there (you are in England, right?) may be another obstacle, i don't know. But don't give up. I, and everyone on this site I'm sure doesnt want to see you give up. You have a passion for being a vet, or obviously you wouldn't have worked as hard as you have, and that's inspiring. Stick with it, but be patient. Abe Lincoln failed numerous times before succeeding; so did a bunch of other "super-successful" people, I'm sure. Everyone fails...everyone gets rejected for jobs they really want at some point. (And I expect someone to tell me this stuff when I get rejected when I get out of school :P...Hell, I've already gotten rejected numerous times for the type of summer job I wanted....though similar to what I wanted, I had to settle for something kind of different...for now.)

But along Ax's point....you can hopefully use this experience to realize in what ways you've attached your self-worth to your profession or work. If you're like me, you do that alot. :blackeye: But that's the beauty of being human....of constantly coming back to accepting that we are not perfect, despite our visions of grandeur. Something good always comes out of "bad" situations.


...In short: Be kind to yourself, regardless! and persevere. :horse: ;) :hug:


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Lord_Morningstar
Post subject: Re: Edit and update: I'm a loser.
Posted: Sun 12 Apr , 2009 12:11 am
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Ax wrote:
The trick is, I think, to be able to separate what one does from who one is.
I love that.

Not that it helps you too much, Eru. I know how it feels to be profoundly unsatisfied with your professional life.

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BrianIsSmilingAtYou
Post subject: Re: Edit and update: I'm a loser.
Posted: Sun 12 Apr , 2009 5:23 am
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From what I have seen on the boards, you are a resourceful person.

I know it is disappointing to lose out in a situation like this.

When you refer to qualifications, are there specific things that can be addressed by some kind of certification.

I know in the IT area, there are certain jobs that require Microsoft (or Cisco, or whatever) certification.

If such a thing as certification is important for qualifying for the kinds of positions that you seek, is there a way that you can pursue it?

BrianIs :) AtYou

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Rodia
Post subject: Re: Edit and update: I'm a loser.
Posted: Sun 12 Apr , 2009 10:49 am
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I think people are right, Eru, you're not any kind of loser for not getting this job. I mean good, talented, qualified people get rejected ALL the time, and...well, I know it's kinda hard not to think 'but in my case it's just because I suck' but that's not true. You know it isn't. I can't tell you it will all work out and you'll get a great job tomorrow, because I don't know that, but I can tell you you're not a loser, and it wasn't because you didn't try hard enough. Shit just happens, I guess.

I know that doesn't help much but I hate seeing you put yourself down. I do it to myself a lot too, and I know sometimes the whole world can be saying 'you're good' and you'll still be thinking 'I'm crap'. Still, I'd rather add my voice to the choir. You're not a loser.

Hang in there, don't give up.

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