board77

My posts have been getting less and less frequent of late, and I thought you all deserved an explanation.

Ever since one of my posts was deleted by the powers that be over on HOF a couple of weeks ago, I've been feeling bad about it. Since I consider myself generally inoffensive, it was a great shock to have a post yanked out of a thread without discussion. Oh, there were some PMs back and forth after the fact, but I didn't want the post put back in after the thread had moved on. Obviously, I was offensive and inconsiderate and not nice to have around.

I haven't been able to click the link to go back to HOF since, and even here I've been self censoring all my comments into near oblivion- and it's just getting worse. So, I thought you all should know what's going on before I fade completely away: I'm going through each potential reply with an overly critical eye and eventually deciding not to say anything most of the time.

It's sad, I know... but I don't know what to do about it. My tact-o-meter has always been lousy, but now that fact is starting to bother me and is making me mute.

There's no need for you to self-censor yourself here, of all places. I've never noticed you ever post anything that is remotely offensive. Stuff I might disagree with, yes, but never offensive.

Besides, if you did say something offensive here, your post wouldn't get yanked. At worst, a ranger might contact you after someone contacted them and ask you to edit your post. The most likely outcome would be someone on this board saying "well, that was a bit offensive" and someone else arguing that really, it wasn't, and someone else saying that it could probably be construed as offensive by someone with thin skin or by someone who wanted to be offended, etc etc etc

Seriously, here, of all places, and you, of all people.... you really don't have to worry about censoring yourself. Remember, we're all pretty damned laid back here

Yes, what Estel said.

Here, of all places, you are not going to be censored!

(I was wondering if you were just busy with Christmas stuff or what. Sorry to hear that about HoF.)

Pfffft Maria. You offensive?



What I like is the sound of different voices. Yours is a different voice I would really miss if it were diminished. We have thick skin on this board and it's only intentionally intended malice which causes problems. I have never ever ever detected that in a single one of your posts. So relax. This is the place you can be yourself and be welcomed for it.

What they said.

I wasn't worried about being censored here! I know better than that! I was censoring myself, because I was so utterly wrong about how a post of mine on HOF would be taken that it blew my confidence and I got overly critical of everything I might want to say.

As usual, the only cure for such a feeling is to talk about it. I feel better already. Thanks. I'll try to stop second guessing my every thought and just say it.... whatever *it* is. As I said, my tactometer is dysfunctional, so my attempts to regulate what I wanted to say wasn't working so well. Over control is as bad as under control!

At the core of the problem that Maria is having is one heck of a discussion .... if it ever takes place.

Yeah, I think that might cause more harm than good, though, if I'm catching your drift.

What I do to myself is generally much more harsh than what anyone else would do to me. It's part of the INFP personality profile, and very predictable.


(I almost deleted that after I typed it! Why? Why? Is it just a stupid thing to say? Or not really applicable to the discussion? Or just boring? I almost deleted it and I don't even know why. Maybe it's just a bad habit like biting nails or something. Self destructive, and no reason for it, but can't stop...... )

(and then I sat evaluating the self commentary paragraph for another few minutes and almost scrapped the whole post.)

*grits teeth, hits "submit" *

Lalaith... I think you caught the drift perfectly.

I'll delete something I've written before sending it once in a while. I think it's either because it doesn't say accurately what I started out to say or I look at it and it's crasser or more clumsy than I'm comfortable with. Given that I tend to make wisecracks I think I have to take a little care sometimes.

It's a fascinatingting subject all the same and this has started out as an interesting thread. I think messageboard dynamics are a new and subtle form of communication with all sorts of uncharted rules.

I am always sure my meaning is crystal clear, but I have learned the hard way that it isn't. AND, I admit I have occasionally posted in anger. But my besetting fault, of course, is sarcasm. I do try very hard not to be sarcastic. Not always, though. It depends upon who I'm responding to. I'm sure you've all noticed it.

But the trouble is, my reputation precedes me and some people see snottiness and sarcasm where there isn't.

I'm often too economical with words and my full meaning doesn't get through.

I self-censor here now, not because of being offensive. HOF is a different place it is not here and I understand the rules most of the time. I have had posts removed there as well, as well as my signature changed. It's not my board and I respect the rights of the owner.

Here is a different story. But I still censor things, again not becuase of being offensive, which I can be when I am mad. But I don't get mad much anymore, life is too short to have all the negative around.

Cannot. Be fucked. To censor. Ever.

Maria, others have said it better, but you're pretty much one of the least offensive people I've ever met. Don't worry! I for one want to hear everything you're thinking, moderated or otherwise.

*~Pips~*

Pips

I fuckin loves you!

You'd probably become extremely bored with a stream of consciousness post from me, Pips! Especially when I'm working with wool, for instance. "Is this hair too coarse? Should I discard it? Yes, that one's too thick. How about this one? It might be OK. No, it's not completely black, pull it! Next one? Oh, it tangled. Darn. Must break the tangle and discard all the short stuff."



Picking wool isn't really a thinking process. That's why I watch so much TV these days. My hands are busy with the wool and my mind is occupied otherwise. Even the actual spinning goes better if I don't think too much about it. But that's the case with a lot of hands on skills. Once the hands learn the skill, direct supervision by the brain messes one up. Just think about the actual process of typing, for instance. Too much attention to the process leads to a higher error rate, IMO.

That's how I sew. And it's how I was making holly wreaths, until I ran out of wire!

(Also works two ways - it's impossible for me to watch Gundam without some sort of distraction for my hands. )

*~Pips~*

to whoever modded Maria.

MariaHobbit wrote:

I'm often too economical with words and my full meaning doesn't get through.

That's just one of the problems with communication of this type...it's easy to forget that those reading our posts have no tone of voice or facial expressions/body language to reflect the sense of our words as we meant them to be read... emoticons/smilies help, of course, but there's still room for misunderstandings...

Just imagine talking to someone with a deadpan expression and monotonous voice and trying to judge if they are joking or not!! Makes me think of comedians like Jack Dee