It's a tiny obsession of mine. And i was going to do a "best of" list, but it sort of turned into something.....different. Well, anyway, i don't now if it's worth the wasted hours, but i definetly had a good time putting this together.....
An Incomprehensive Guide to Terry Pratchett’s Discworld Series
1) Maskerade A loose satire of the Phantom of the Opera, with its very own cast of aria singer, witches, ghosts, cats and candelabras.
2) The Truth What happens when a bunch of dwarfs open a printing press in Ankh Morpork, the biggest stinking city on the Disc, resulting in the first every daily newspaper.
3) Jingo A new land has surfaced between the great cities of Ankh Morpork and Klatch, and now it's up to Commander Sam Vimes of the City Watch to deal with a crime so big there's no law against it. It's called "war"
That was my top three books. Now, for the rest, written in chronological order, i will give you either a little something from the blurb and/or a really good quote
The Books
The Colour of Magic Discworld is a place where anything can happen. And it does when Twoflower, a naive insurance salesman turned tourist, makes the mistake of selling fire insurance to an arson-prone innkeeper. One burning town later, Twoflower and his amazing, sentient Luggage -- which follows him everywhere on its hundreds of little feet -- find themselves rescued by the inept wizard Rincewind, who is only too happy to turn tour guide as long as the gold flows free.
"Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant idiot"
The Light Fantastic* Rincewind was the most truly inept wizard the earth of Discworld had ever known. He was a wizard with only one spell, a spell he would never dare say, one of the Eight Great Spells from the magical Octavo. So powerful was this magic that every ordinary useful spell refused to stay in the wizard's mind for even one instant. Then the Red Star appeared in the sky -- and everyone finally understood what the Eight Spells were really for.....and suddenly the whole planet -- from wizards and warriors to druids and demons -- were after Rincewind.
Equal Rites* "There's no such thing as a female wizard!" But on the Discworld, there's no such thing as impossible. And so, a wizard on the brink of death tries to pass on his staff and powers to an eighth son of an eighth son.... The fact that the son is actually a daughter is discovered just a little too late. Granny Weatherwax insists on turning Eskarina into a perfectly normal witch but the wizard's staff has a whole different future in mind for Esk, which involves saving the world amongst other things.....
Mort Death takes on an apprentice: Death comes to us all. When he came to Mort, he offered him a job.
Sourcery The eighth son of an eighth son is a wizard. And HIS eighth son is.....a sorcerer. And his very existence brings the Discworld to the very verge of all-out thaumaturgical war...
Wyrd Sisters Kingdoms wobble, crowns topple and knives flash on the magical Discworld as the statutory three witches meddle in royal politics. But Granny Weatherwax and her fellow coven members find it's all a lot more difficult than playwrights would have you believe...
“As the cauldron bubbled an eldritch voice shrieked: ‘When shall we three meet again?’
There was a pause.
Finally another voice said, in far more ordinary tones: ‘Well, I can do next Tuesday.’â€
“The duke had a mind that ticked like a clock, and like a clock, it regularly went cuckooâ€
Pyramids Being a teenage god wasn't all it was cracked up to be. But training as an assassin had been great fun for Teppic -- at least until he was actually expected to kill someone. Teppic's real worries began when his father, the Pharaoh, went to his untimely mummyhood, and he was made king of all the realm. Out of control pyramids, a disappearing kingdom, crazy high priests and deadly handmaidens are just the least of his worries....
“What our ancestors would really be thinking, if they were alive today, is: ‘Why is it so dark in here?’â€
Guards! Guards! The Night Watch wasn't respected or well-staffed but it was all Vimes had to be Captain of. And in a town like Ankh-Morpork, where wizards worked any spells they pleased, the thieves and assassins belonged to well-established guilds. But it didn't take long for this comfortable routine to be destroyed by the arrival of Carrot, a well over six-feet-tall dwarf determined to become the best guard Ankh-Morpork had ever seen, even if it meant arresting everyone in the city. Add to that an ambitious man's tampering with long-forbidden magic to call forth the biggest dragon imaginable, and let chaos ensue…
“This is Lord Mountjoy Quickfang Winterforth IV, the hottest dragon in the city.â€
Eric Eric is the Discworld's only demonology hacker. Pity he's not very good at it. And instead of a tractable demon, he calls up Rincewind, probably the most incompetent wizard in the universe, and the extremely intractable and hostile form of travel accessory known as the Luggage. And with them at his side, Eric’s in for a ride through space and time that’s going to make him with he was never born…..
- "There's a door"
- "Where does it go?"
- "It stays where it is, I think."
Moving Pictures Holy Wood. It held celluloid magic, dreams -- and nightmares -- come true, realities altered at an almost impossible rate. And the Discworld was about to get more than its share of action, adventure, romance—and a menace. Suddenly a cast of thousands were falling under the spell, and it’s up to the Disc’s first film stars to get to the bottom of it. You’ll thrill, scream and definitely eat popcorn.
Reaper Man Death is missing -- presumed ... er ... gone. Which leads to the kind of chaos you always get when an important public service is withdrawn. Now it’s up to Dead Rights activist Reg Shoe and newly deceased wizard Windle Poons to save the world for the living. Meanwhile, on a little farm far, far away, a tall, dark stranger is turning out to be really good with a scythe. There's a harvest to be got in. And when the scythe is on the other foot, Death is finding that life can be an awfully hard habit to break...
"LORD, WHAT CAN THE HARVEST HOPE FOR, IF NOT THE COMPASSION OF THE REAPER MAN?â€
Witches Abroad* Death waits for no one -- not even a fairy godmother. So when Desiderata waited a little too long to find a successor, it was up to Magrat Garlick, Granny Weatherwax, and Nanny Ogg to grab their broomsticks and keep Desiderata's appointment in far-distant Genua and save Princess Emberella. Forget the journey there- the trouble really begins when they get to Genua. After all, you can’t fight a happy ending…..up until now.
Small Gods Brutha is the Chosen One. His god has spoken to him, admittedly while currently in the shape of a tortoise. Brutha is a simple lad. He can't read. He can't write. And his wants are few. He wants to overthrow a huge and corrupt church. He wants to prevent a horrible holy war. He wants peace and justice and brotherly love. He wants the Inquisition to stop torturing him now, please. But most of all, what he really wants, more than anything else, is for his god to Choose Someone Else...
“And it came to pass that in time the Great God Om spake unto Brutha, the Chosen One: ‘Psst!’â€
"You can't trample infidels when you're a tortoise. I mean, all you could do is give them a meaningful look."