board77

Shamelessly stealing from my TORC thread, but hey, what theduffster requests, theduffster shall receive. Feel free to contribute!

Here is my original post:

Quote:

Look at this: group hug

Painted by the Brothers Gentile, it depicts the death of Boromir and I think it is absolutely retarded! It's a shame the Elven broaches aren't included, but there are many rather odd things about this picture:

• - no one's neck can turn at that angle.
  - there is something seriously wrong with his skeletal framing if his body is all twisted up like that. Apparently Boromir was a gimp.
  - Aragorn's face is all lumpy and weird. Kinda reminds me of Boris Karloff.
  - it's a good thing Boromir managed to get his shirt off before being riddled with arrows. I mean, that really could've been embarassing!
  - Aw. His pants seem to have fallen down, too, the poor bloke.

In addition to those observations, I have a few questions:

• - I thought the Elven cloaks were supposed to camouflage the Fellowship? How do BRIGHT WHITES not stand out against forest green? I guess Aragorn isn't the Mr. Stealth he likes to think he is...
  - why does Boromir look like Jesus?
  - why is Gimli wearing a tea cozy on his head?
  - didn't Mommy ever tell you to tie your shoe laces, Legsie? There's no way those will stay on when you're trekking through the mud at Helm's Deep.

Not all Tolkien art catches my eye, and not all of it is garbage, but this one really stood out to me as being awful. I would like to hear your input on this one.

People were saying then that the painting was actually based on one of Christ & Friends. I've seen that one just recently, too, but the LOTR version is still shite.

I'll have to put up mine and Wilma's visual review of a certain Tollkien artist.

Ref: original TORC thread




*E*

I swear I saw an orc move.

And how come Legolas has pretty much a full quiver of arrows?

And could he look any...er...gayer?

And Boromir's knee should have been looked at long ago.

And didn't Boromir get a golden belt?

And is it Gimli or Legolas who's trying to do a ventriloquit act with Boromir?




This is one scary picture.

The rest of the 1980 calendar isn't bad.

http://fan.theonering.net/rolozo/collec ... hide=-4097

Some nitpics of course, such as Gandalf The Grey at the Pyre Of Denethor and the radioactive elf at the Council, but otherwise not bad at all.

No doubt Tolkien fans couldn't wait for November to be over.

TheLidlessEyes wrote:

And could he look any...er...gayer?

Not without needing to move this to ToE.

I love how Aragorn is wearing his cloak wrapped around his head a la Bible-times women.

I also like how utterly bored Gimli looks about the whole affair.

That painting doth indeed sucketh.

TheLidlessEyes wrote:

The rest of the 1980 calendar isn't bad.

They put it in a calendar? Man, all the Tolkien art must have come out in '81.

Quote:

No doubt Tolkien fans couldn't wait for November to be over.

What's wrong with it? (Mount Doom, right? Very striking image.)




*E*

Why does Aragorn's cloak billow around and Legolas' not? Oh, wait. It could be because Leggy is stepping on his, pinning it to the ground.

And Gimli's face! "Yeah, yeah. Die already, woodja? Let's go!"

I think I HAVE that calendar. Am I lucky or what?

IF I can find the wretched thing, and IF I can figure out how to post the pictures, I might just do it.

But .... I sorta think I mighta sent the awful artifact to my Irish friend.

And if I did, she probably burned it.................

I also had and may still have a Hildebrand (t) brothers calendar that I thought was equally ugly.

The December pic by Michael Whelan is one of my all-time favorite Tolkien pictures. (The Eagles Are Coming)

I have written to him and his studio, asking if he would consider reprinting it and gotten a "Maybe..." in response.

But the other pictures in that calendar...OMG. My eyes!

Ah yes, that one was the topic of a TORC Caption Contest. The winning entry (mine) was "That last game of Twister was too much for Boromir", and many priceless jokes were inspired by this... art. If I find it, I'll post a link.

Incidentally, I've never noticed how Legolas's pants are nailed to his legs and how some orcish sharpshooter put his arrow right through Boromir's belly button.

jewelsong wrote:

The December pic by Michael Whelan is one of my all-time favorite Tolkien pictures. (The Eagles Are Coming)

But Jewel, the link in Lidless' post says that December was "The Scouring of the Shire", while the Eagles was November, the month he said was unbearable.

Is one of you mixed up?

Frelga wrote:

Ah yes, that one was the topic of a TORC Caption Contest. The winning entry (mine) was "That last game of Twister was too much for Boromir", and many priceless jokes were inspired by this... art. If I find it, I'll post a link.

My thread inspired that contest. ElvenArcher, who ran the caption thingies, was an Art mod at the time, so she would have seen it. I forget if I submitted a caption, but if you find the link, I'd love to have it!

EDIT: P.S, regarding the calendars...

I find that June always has the worst pictures. It's either ugly orcs, ugly Gimli, or ugly Jesusamir. Why does everyone dump on June?




*E*

*E*V*E*N*S*T*A*R* wrote:

But Jewel, the link in Lidless' post says that December was "The Scouring of the Shire", while the Eagles was November, the month he said was unbearable.

Is one of you mixed up?

Well, I guess I am - the Michael Whelan pic is for the month of November, but I have no idea why Lidless (or anyone else) would find it unbearable. It is remarkably like the scene in the movie, in fact...colors and eagles and everything!

http://img-fan.theonering.net/rolozo/im ... eagles.jpg

The "Death of Boromir" is apparently for June.

jewelsong wrote:

the Michael Whelan pic is for the month of November, but I have no idea why Lidless (or anyone else) would find it unbearable. It is remarkably like the scene in the movie, in fact...colors and eagles and everything!

Completely agree - I remember that image from long ago and it was one of my favorites. I like it even more than John Howe's version of Mount Doom, which, in this picture, is too dark for me to see, but I get the gist of it.

Quote:

The "Death of Boromir" is apparently for June.

Yeah, why couldn't it have been for October: the scary month?




*E*

I'm sure I read somewhere that that picture was a spoof that a couple of serious artists managed to sneak into the calendar for a joke. Where did I read that? Was it wrong? Am I thinking of a different picture?

*~Pips~*

I remember people talking about that in the TORC thread, Pips!

I am further horrified by a joke sneaking into a Tolkien calendar amongst some legitimately spiffy artwork.




*E*

Jewelsong: Michael Whelan did issue a signed photocopy of the Mount Doom painting that you love so much. The reprint is about 14 x 14 inches and is matted and signed by him. I have one somewhere in the basement. If you want to know more about it I will find it and see if it is of a limited edition.

The Brothers Gentile thing has been done to death. I was told by people within the industry that it was a joke pulled on Ian and Betty Ballantine who were the art directors of the calendar in those days. Apparently somebody took one of the worst religious medieval paintings of the death of some martyred saint and threw in some other ingredients and produced the final abortion. Artists all over New York City had a good laugh when the Ballantines selected it for the catalog. This story was told to me more than once. And one of the tellers eventually did the calendar for them so was in a position to know.

I used to have a small press publishing company and employed several name illustrators. For a while there I was going to New York City three or four times a year and hung out with them and became friends. So this is not rumor or convention talk.

sauronsfinger wrote:

Jewelsong: Michael Whelan did issue a signed photocopy of the Mount Doom painting that you love so much. The reprint is about 14 x 14 inches and is matted and signed by him. I have one somewhere in the basement. If you want to know more about it I will find it and see if it is of a limited edition. .

You have a signed print by Whelan in your basement????

Am offering to buy it from you. Right Now.

Please name terms!

Jewelsong: I am not living at home any longer but will be there today and will see if I can locate it ...... Whelan made photoprint copies of many of his paintings in the mid 80's or early 90's and sold them through a fantasy art dealer -- Norm ???? who was from Connecticut if I remember right. They would sell these at comic shows and sci-fi cons. Signed photo prints were quite the rage at the time and illustrators like Jeffrey Jones, Barry Smith and Michael Kaluta all sold them.

I still have a soft spot for this one...

(Oh, and it's Gollum, by the way!)

Just how did they come up with that? Ok, he was "a slimy creature as dark as darkness", but aren't they taking that a bit literally?

It looks like the skin of evil that killed Tasha Yar.

I've never seen that Gentile picture; it's wonderful. Thanks sauronsfinger for the background story.
If I had a caption for it it would be:

Aragorn: 'Sorry guys, I know it's the wrong moment but lembas always gives me awful wind.'

Alatar wrote:

Just how did they come up with that? Ok, he was "a slimy creature as dark as darkness", but aren't they taking that a bit literally?

It looks like the skin of evil that killed Tasha Yar.

I think he looks like a small mountain with eyes...

But, you know, Gollum isn't easy to get quite right...