With the Silmarillion discussion about to begin over in Books, I thought
that it would be helpful if there were a movie that peope could see for
those who find the Sil too antiquated. A modernized version, designed for
todays audiences, as it were (in the tradition of the hilarious Game for
those who have NOT seen the movie too many times thread over at TORC, but
perhaps with a b77 edge).
I'll start.
Illuvator, played by an impossibly beautiful unknown androgynous actor/actress, is sitting on her/his throne. Before him/her are assembled the Ainur, played by a melting pot of all races, colors, genders, and whatever, singing an impossibly beautiful song. Suddenly, an insistent beat begins to drone:
Boom boom bot, ba boom boom ba bot
Boom boom bot, ba boom boom ba bot
Melkor (played by Ice Cube) begins to rap:
I am Melkor
And I'm here to say
I'm the biggest Motherfucker
In Arda today
Give me the Flame
I know what to do
These fuckin' pansy Ainur dudes
Ain't gonna listen to you
Boom boom bot, ba boom boom ba bot
Boom boom bot, ba boom boom ba bot
...