With all this decisionmaking, building and discussion going on on b77, I've noticed in myself a frightening vice.
I am not capable of making up my own mind.
This isn't as harmless as it seems. I've noticed that I will second someone's opinion only until someone I like/fear/respect more comes along and says something completely different. I'm almost immediately convinced that I was wrong before, and that their solution is right.
Then the other person replies with something equally sensible. By then I'm stumped. I say what I think is my opinion, and run to another thread. Where I say something else...and contradict myself. The scary part is I mean what I say in both posts.
At one point, I think we should invite someone immediately. Ten minutes later I think waiting is the only proper way.
Is this normal? Am I insane, or do I just lack a spine?
I admit I thought myself to be a pretty fair person, but now I see I can't find my own opinion among what others say. I keep saying I never follow blindly, but what is this if not sheepwalk?
Does anyone else ever feel like this? Or maybe someone has advice to give me to help me figure out my stand, and actually hold on to it?
I'm worried that I'm not helping the growth of b77 much, if I keep agreeing with everyone. I think maybe I ought to step back from the discussions...at least, not say anything. But that seems like the easy way out.