The ugly ginger from Spy Kids getting a serious beat down kind of made it for me.
It was an interesting movie, though the second half has little to do with the first. Rob Zombie put a lot of thought into what Michael Myers might've been like as a child, but seemed to give up once the character becomes an adult. Like, okay time for the Laurie Strode portion of the evening: now to throw in the white mask, nookie-seeking friends, hedge-lined sidewalks, and 30-year-old tatas pretending to be 17-year-old tatas. Felt rushed and confusing. That Michael goes from a small aryan boy to a raven-haired behemoth in 15 years is ridiculous. C'mon, he doesn't need size to be intimidating. Especially since we just spent an hour with him as a child murderer.
Then he returns to his childhood home for the kitchen knife and mask. I just don't buy the kid Myers hiding those things away, other than as a dramatic device so it's all stylistically aged and creepier-looking. I like it better in the original series how he'd just walk into a store and steal his own mask. It added to the anonymity of the character. He walks amongst us, you know? He doesn't get attached to anything, human or object, just grabs whatever's available but has the occasional preference. He'll kill you with a thumbtack if need be, but if you have a kitchen knife, why that's just dandy.
Basically, Zombie went all out for Myers' childhood and then glossed over the rest, as if he had little interest in it but realized you couldn't remake Halloween without the Jamie Lee character. I couldn't have been less involved with the characters and the constant cameos were a bit distracting. Sure it's fun to see these faces, especially since a lot of talented horror actors don't get hired anywhere else, but feh, this is the Michael Myers show, quit with the meta.
Hard to not appreciate how vicious it is, though. The violence was hard-hitting (no pun intended). Made it depressing to watch (my brother and his girlfriend walked out after 20 minutes or something), but I think hopelessness is a good feeling to associate with this character. He probably didn't have much of a chance in life, and neither will you once he's around. You can't hide, you can't run, you can't find help. That, at least, made him scary for me, which is something I never felt about the Halloween films.
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