Thanks for the update, Cerin.
It is truly warming that all those people have stepped forth to help and to ease the decision.
This is not about adoption per se but about people being able to take the positive, productive view of things:
When my daughter and her fiancee found out they were pregant, it was a really difficult time for everyone in the family. Both kids were still in school, and my daughter's education was languishing at that point as she waffled between different colleges and careers.
There were six parents involved - me and my ex-husband, and the mother and step-father and father and step-mother of my daughter's fiancee. We had a big family meeting, all of us wondering what we would end up being called upon to do, and I was thrilled ... it still gives me goosebumps to think about it ... that all six of us were completely committed to the success of the whole family. The baby to be belonged to our children and it was up to them to decide what to do. No pressure to marry until they both finished school, and everyone agreed that they both needed their degree. The kids wanted to become a family as planned, just earlier than planned, and we all shared the small financial burden this entailed.
The baby was born (the best baby ever, of course), the kids graduated, got married, found really good jobs, and now they have a house and a second baby on the way (any day now, actually). When I think of all the things that could have gone wrong ... really, just one resentful parent could have turned heaven into hell for years afterwards ... that we got the best of all possible outcomes simply amazes me. It was the inverse of Murphy's Law.
So that does happen, too.
Jn