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And Now PJ’s Version

March march march, slash slash slash, kill kill kill (voice over playing)
Sauron: Hey this is my house, (swish big weapon thingy)
Elves & Men: AAAAAAHHHHHHH my arm.

Later:
Hobbitty Dude: Give me the ring….
Dudes with Hobbitty Dude – pack pack pack, water plants, good walking shoes.
Hobbitty Dude: lost
Hobbitty Dude’s Co-Dependant Friend: stupid Gollum
Gollum: Fat Stupid Hobbit

Sauron: Who the hell cut up onions again….

Stew Girl: Stew???
King Dude: Medic…….

King Dude: I see dead people
Dwarf Dude: Yes but they are handy in a fight
Elf Dude: Anyone seen my sunscreen?

Elf Princess with serious over bite: I love him daddy…
Dad: Crap

Stew Girl: I am no man
Witch King Dude: Crap

Steward Dude: Time for a BBQ
Guard Dudes: Um the other white meat?!?!
Wizardy Dude: Poof…idiot.

Hobbity Dude: No I am keeping the ring.
Gollum – bitety
Hobbity Dude: OOOWWW my finger, seriously who bites a finger off….


(wavey lines……much later….)

Gollum’s great great great great great great great great……….(you get the picture) grand daughter….
Lorena: Stupid Fat Husband……

The Watcher wrote:

In "The Hobbit" we have elves who are revengeful, revel in merriment, and care not a whit for the fortunes of other creatures who disturb their existence.

Am I the only one who adores The Hobbit Elves? They seem immature, but it's because the story is told from Bilbo's POV and that hobbit still has a lot of growing up to do. Besides, he was prejudiced by the Dwarves.

Sure, they love to laugh and sing, they do revel in merriment, and are not beyond being tempted by a flagon of good wine. What good is immortality if one doesn't enjoy the living? Yet there are glimpses of the greatness just beyond the little hobbit's sight. There are the wonderful swords of Gondolin, whose very sight is a terror for the goblins. There's a mention of High Elves, and already there is a sense of dimming and lessening compared with the old glory days (though no mention of sailing, yet).

As for being revengful and uncaring - remember how the Woodking drops everything to help out the Lake Men? And how many human rulers would say, as Thranduil did when faced with an advancing war party from the Iron Hills, "Long will I tarry, ere I begin this war for gold."

Here's one of my favorite bits, from the seige of the Lonely Mountain:

Tolkien wrote:

There was sound, too, of elven-harps and of sweet music; and as it echoed up towars them it seemed that the chill of the air was warmed, and they caught faintly the fragrance of woodland flowers blossoming in spring.

Not exactly a waste of immortal lives, learning to make music like that. Some may think these Elves foolish, but that, as Tolkien tells us, is a very foolish thing to do.