Why are we all of a sudden instituting a form of invitation? I understood that the overwhelming consensus was to move away from that way of doing things?
My understanding of that forum was that it was to spare the blushes of those who weren't interested in finding out the intricate details of their fellows' sex lives. If the forum is a separate request-only one that 'protection' remains. So why the need for 'sponsorship' (or 'invites' by another name)?
That's what ToE is for me too- but then, I don't post there. Others who do, however, want to have some sort of control over who can see what they wrote. I understand their worry
but I think that having such control is impossible. I think we ought to think of ToE exactly like Leoba just described it, otherwise we're making ourselves vulnerable by posting there. It won't ever be a private place.
Estel, you mention SJ. I know what you mean (heh). I'm not sure he would know how to behave in such a forum either. But then, that's because I know him fairly well...so the people that I don't know at all get my trust free- but how do I know they will behave? And...he, like anyone else, can get banned from it if he acts irresponsibly. And also I think if the sensitive nature of that forum is explained to everyone very very clearly and stressed to the applicant by his friends, it will be okay.
What I'm trying to say is, you are able to pinpoint SJ as a possible problem. But you'll never be able to spot every other possible problem. I know how you feel, believe me, but I really think that's just an illusion of safety you're proposing. You know I don't say that to be mean or anything, it's just that you can't be sure of anyone. We both know SJ so we know to be careful with him, but if another problem poster comes along we might not even notice. And then we'd be screwed, because all along we'd be thinking we have control. We don't...it's impossible to have it.