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Erinhue, if those two women were to start up such nonsense, I think I would be tempted to march right up to them and say something like "Knock it off! You are upsetting my wife, and I would like you to think about HER."

Well, I probably wouldn't, being the non-confrontational type that I am, but their behavior is incredibly selfish. Maybe they will be more restrained in front of your wife than at a funeral. We can only hope.

lol Anthriel.. that's almost exactly what I was going to say.. Including the non-confrontational part..

Erniehue I've missed you, and I just hope that the reunion doesn't cause your wife too much trouble. I have family like that (well, not that extreme), and you just have to learn to say "Well, they're f***ed up.. glad I'm not like that"

*******HUGSSSSSSSSSSS*******

Hue, have you considered perhaps calling those two aunts in advance and having a little 'talk'?

I'd even consider getting them to play off against each other for the sake of peace...

"I know that Aunt X is going to react badly which would really upset Cyn; I hope I can rely on you to keep it all together and not get emotional - maybe Aunt X will take your lead."

Say the same thing to both; hopefully they'll keep one another in line.

I hope it goes well and is an emotionally satisfying experience for you both.

I am in a pretty annoying situation due to a relationship at the moment. It involves a girl who really seems to have 'fallen in love' with me, but whom I don't feel so strongly against. I like her, but I just do not find my life suitable for a serious relationship currently. And I will have to tell her eventually without breaking her heart. I have to be very, very careful, I quess.

Otherwise, I do understand your point. I do not want to ditch her for good - that isn't the case at all - but just to let her know that I want to be friends with her for the time being. A relationship could still form in time -- maybe.

Bah. Why can't I just be alone and be done with it?

Impy, I like your plan. And I so would tell them pretty much what Anthy suggested. I am not very confrontational myself, but I have a strong mother-bear instinct.

Klonkku wrote:

I do not want to ditch her for good - that isn't the case at all - but just to let her know that I want to be friends with her for the time being. A relationship could still form in time -- maybe.

So, let me get this straight, Klonkku. Are you planning to string this girl along for the sake of maybe, which she probably will accept if she is as enamored of you as you say?

Being friends is great and all, if both friends only want to be friends. Otherwise... I can only say that my personal experience in postponed breakups has been rather regrettable.

ETA: I do understand that you are trying to be kind to her (not to mention avoid an unpleasant scene). Relationships can be so messy.

Klonkku, I think it would be best to talk with her kindly but honestly. Letting someone harbour false illusions about a relationship hurts a lot more than telling them that for now, you just want to be friends with them.

BTW, aren't you moving to another city soon to start your studies? I guess that girl is from your home town; is she going to move as well? Because if you move and she stays, the separation will probably help a lot.

Rowanberry wrote:

Klonkku, I think it would be best to talk with her kindly but honestly. Letting someone harbour false illusions about a relationship hurts a lot more than telling them that for now, you just want to be friends with them.

BTW, aren't you moving to another city soon to start your studies? I guess that girl is from your home town; is she going to move as well? Because if you move and she stays, the separation will probably help a lot.

The thing is - I already moved. The girl is from this new place I live in.

I will really have to think about this still...

Klonkku wrote:

The thing is - I already moved. The girl is from this new place I live in.

I will really have to think about this still...

Actually, your situation reminds me of something similar in my youth.

I dated this guy for a while, and thought of him as my boyfriend. Then one day, when we were discussing about going somewhere together the next weekend, the guy said that he'd rather not, and explained that he thought of me as his friend, but not as his girlfriend. It was OK to go to the movies or a party together, but he didn't want anything more binding. I felt hurt, of course - but ended up going totally elsewhere with some other people, and had a great time. That guy and I parted for good soon afterwards, but we parted as friends. Later, when I thought of the situation, I saw it very much as an "Éowyn and Aragorn" thing; I had a crush on the guy just because he represented something that I found very cool at the time, not because of the real person.

As I said, I felt hurt, but got over it rather quickly. If you manage to explain your position to that girl honestly but politely, I shouldn't believe that it would harm either of you. (And I know that it's easier said than done. I've been dumped, and I've dumped someone myself, and it isn't easy either way.)

Bringing this back up to say thanks for the advice about my drama queen aunties. I asked each one separately to help me with the other. I explained that we would like to try and forget about our problems while we were here. EACH one of them agreed that that the break would be just what we needed and that they would be certain to keep an eye on the other one because SHE was a bit too emotional at times and was sure to upset Cynthia, which no one wanted to do.

So thanks a lot It worked like a Ring of Power. BTW the Family Reunion was a grand old time, but I just drove in from Virginia and I don't know what I'm doing still up at 4 am. Good night all.

Now just cross your fingers and hope they don't get together to compare notes.