board77

Well, MacBeth was really Hamlet's Evil Twin, a little known fact I am now proud to share with you all. They used to send telepathic hints to each other.

laureanna, you were a good friend to your friend.

I didn't know Mike at all but the Memento thread is one of my fondest memories (and backwards memories at that!) from TORC. It was such a clever idea and it got a lot of different people posting together.

I'm sorry to hear about his troubles and his untimely passing.

******IMPORTANT EDIT 1/21/06********
In late 2005 I learned that Mike/aka. Lucy is still alive. The person who emailed me in August telling me that Lucy had died was, in fact, Lucy himself. For my part, I would not wish him "dead" again for all the world, but I appreciate that this news may meet with a wide range of emotions. For the time being, I am going to leave all my posts exactly as they were, but with this disclaimer and update.

Ax, thanks for the back there.

I finally received a message back from Mike's friend.

Hi [Edit],sorry I didn't answer your first
email--haven't checked back since I wrote you. Mikey
didn't want any service. He had a lot of friends
scattered all over from Sicily to Japan and he was on
the outs with his familh back in Ohio. He donated his
body to UCSF Medical school and his will said if
anyone wants to do something in his memory they should
help a cancer patient in need. His friend the
franciscan nun is having a mass said for him which I
KNOW will super piss him off wherever he is.

Go well and be well.

[Name Removed for Privacy]

I feel horrible right now. When I've collected myself a little more I'm going to look into charities that aid cancer patients -- esp. those with little funds.

Actually, I don't think the mass will piss Mike off nearly as much as his friend fears. Mike had no use for God (the closest he got to organized religion was Zen Buddhism), but he knew that I was Catholic, and he always tolerated me praying for him.

I just found this thread.

For once, I have no words.

Just

I am very sorry to hear this -- he was one of the very special m00bies folks that finally tipped me over the edge from lurker to poster.

I've gotten PMs and emails from several people who were upset by the excerpts I originally posted in this thread by Mike, and/or the short post I made at TORC. One of Mike's exerpts was a completely over the top diatribe about TORC management being Satan incarnate, or something to that effect. I posted it to show how OTT Mike could get, and to show the depth of hurt he was feeling. I certainly did not endorse what he was saying. Feelings are neither right nor wrong. They are gut reactions to how we perceive the world. You can't tell a person "don't feel that way" or "you have no right to be hurt". Perceptions, on the other hand, can be way off base. The world as Mike perceived it sucked. He was seeing it through the distorted lense of bipolar depression, a horrible childhood, and the pain of terminal cancer. And so he lashed out in his pain. I certainly do not share his opinions on various people in TORC and B77. I only wanted to let others see the depths of his pain, so that they could better understand his actions.

Instead, I've had several people write to me accusing me of stirring up anti-TORC sentiments. That was not my intent. I'm sorry if it made anyone angry about TORC, or B77, or me. That's the last thing I was trying to do. It actually never crossed my mind that people would see it that way. Yes, I was that clueless. I was trying to share what I knew of Mike, and share my frustration that the medium in which we communicate could not accomodate him. Please forgive me for stirring up anti-board feelings. And to those of you who wrote privately, thank you for showing me how it looked from your side.

Edit

Laureanna, if it was not for you, I never would have had correspondence with Mike. For that I am very grateful. Although I had never posted with him, he knew exactly who I was. Me myself and I wish there was a service for him. I only spoke with him a short time but I really looked forward to his emails. I did not realize until I came here that he was bi polar. He was always very very kind to me, but I noticed around the time he stopped emailing me that people said they were uh, getting uh...unsavoury emails from him. I always supected that he did not want to do that to me, since I was so young and naive, and really only started to email him because Laureanna asked me to (since I thought he wouldn't know me). I am so glad I listened to her. Also, being depressed and bi-polar can really cause you to do things you wish you hadn't. I am saddened that he was under-medicated. I too could see he was still hurt from being banned, but he seemed to feel a little consoled that he could still read TORC.

At the M77t Ang and I even discussed the momento thread.

Also, I am a little saddened that people still do not understand mental illness. Cutting yourself off from friends is exactly what you do when your depressed. Although that is the time when you need your friends the most.
Also, the whole irrational thinking deal. I guess people who have been thorough depression just don't understand.

Laureanna, thank you so much for doing everything you have done. Really. If it wasn't for you, I never would have corresponded with him. I had never thought of anything you were doing as trying to stir things up. I refuse to believe anyone from B77 would write such a horrible message to you, after all you have done. No one on B77 is that cowardly. We are upfront and talk things out. Even if it may hurt.

******IMPORTANT EDIT 1/21/06********
In late 2005 I learned that Mike/aka. Lucy is still alive. The person who emailed me in August telling me that Lucy had died was, in fact, Lucy himself. For my part, I would not wish him "dead" again for all the world, but I appreciate that this news may meet with a wide range of emotions. For the time being, I am going to leave all my posts exactly as they were, but with this disclaimer and update.

[Snipped by request]

But your insight into Mike's perception of the world in the post above is very accurate, Laureanna.

...and a nod of respect from me, for times gone by.

******IMPORTANT EDIT 1/21/06********
In late 2005 I learned that Mike/aka. Lucy is still alive. The person who emailed me in August telling me that Lucy had died was, in fact, Lucy himself. For my part, I would not wish him "dead" again for all the world, but I appreciate that this news may meet with a wide range of emotions. For the time being, I am going to leave all my posts exactly as they were, but with this disclaimer and update.

Whistler wrote:

...and a nod of respect from me, for times gone by.

I was hoping you'd show up here, Whistler. Thank you for doing so.

Thank you Tinsel, for passing on the news of Mike's death. And my thanks to Laureanna, too, for giving me the push I needed to finally get in touch with him. I'm very glad I was able to correspond with tdl a little.

I'm just he's gone.

While I didn't know him, it always saddens to hear news like this.

May he rest in peace.

Tinsel, I lost two on-line friends this year, both far too young, and I completely understand the odd disconnect you feel. Mourning someone you have never met, but have developed a close friendship with, is something many people don't understand.

Keep Mike in your heart, and remember him, as I do my friends.

RIP, Lucy.

Shit...




*E*