board77

Just never let any guy tell you you need to be thinner...I Hate the trend towards tiny women...all it does is make it look like you'd break them in half if you were energetic in bed...

talking about skinny, we've had a presentation in social studies today about Boulimia and Anorexia. This girl who was presenting it confessed bravely she had had anorexia herself. Slowly two other girls raised their hands and confessed they had eating disorders themselves. One of them had been in a clinic for it.

This worried me especially with this trend of skinniness going on. The pictures i saw were terribly scary! why would anyone want to model themselves like these skeleton models you see on the catwalks?

but to get to the point made by sharkey, if any boyfriend would say that to his girl it can't be love, at all! no guy would tell his love she's ugly, stupid etc. that's just...wrong.

the point of love is caring and accepting someone for *who* they are not for *what* they look like. alot of people are forgetting that these days. Looks are the rule now.

I've always had an issue with my body. I think it stems from the fact that I'v e never been as thin as anyone else in my immediate family so it was always something they picked on me for. I used to think I was a very big girl, but recently I looked back at pictures from over the years and I realize that I am pretty much alright. I'm not skinny, but I am not as huge as my parents say I am. This is a step in the right direction for me, but I still have many issues. I go to the gym twice a week with my friends and joke around that my motto is 'Fat Girls aren't Pretty'. It doesn't help that my dad told me that I can't go on any family trips until I lose weight because he thinks penalizing me will make me want to not eat. He also always makes comments like 'Wow, you have a lot on your plate.' Sometimes I can't stand my father....

But, DTG, judging your avatar pic - you're really pretty.

And as far as I know there aren't many men who like these skinny flat-breasted models.

okay, my turn.

I hate my hair. They're too fine and too few and during PMS-time they get greasy five minutes after washing them. If I could change a single thing, that would be it.

And my belly. Before I got pregnant with my first child, I had to do a fertility-treatment that involved cortison. Whoops, then I gained 10 kg in 6 months. Then I got pregnant. After my daughter was born, I struggled hard for three years to lose the weight I gained during the pregnancy. When I finally was back to X + 10 kg, I got pregnant again. Now my son is 11 months and I know it will take me three years again to get back to X + 10. And then I want to get rid of the 10 again. *sigh* And it looks like all of this extra weight is hiding at the belly.

DTG, that sucks. I imagine your dad thinks he's helping... that he's motivating you like you said... it sucks but sometimes people just believe what they're doing is right and you can't convince them otherwise.

If it helps, I think you're pretty.

Funny how it is. I would think human beings are egoists by nature, but when it comes to compliments, we find them much harder to believe than criticism.

Being skinny...some people here have called me skinny more than once, which makes me go because I think I've got your good fertile female shape. Has anyone taken a look at that ass??

I'm happy enough. If I were really unhappy with myself I'd probably do something about it- right now I don't think the effort is worth it, so I guess I'm more or less satisfied. I'm neither out of shape nor very much in shape- average.

But to be honest, I often wish I was skinny. I mean really skinny, to the point of being awkward. That's the effect of entertainment for you- I blame media entirely for promoting not only skinny models and actresses etc, but also skinny cartoon characters. Yeah. The prettiest fairies and pixies and princesses are always slender and thin in impossible ways.

That's why I adore Lilo and Stich. Lilo's sister has a real butt !!!!

Thanks RoRo and areanor I am beginning to be better with my body image, but I still find it hard to believe that I am pretty since it has been drilled into my head that if you're not skinny you are not attractive at all.

Ro, I think my dad does believe he is helping, but it's just so negative. I cant count how many times I have cried because of his cutting remarks.

Man, I don't blame you... you've every right to cry about it. But I hope you cry because your dad is being insensitive, and not because you actually believe him. Think about that. It might help.

I know how hard it is to feel pretty... hell, most of the time I think I'm the ugliest thing alive, and no one has ever been telling me so! People are irrational.

It's funny though. I always had a problem with my nose. It's large and has a hump. When I was a kid it bothered me immensely...that's why I loved Ringo Starr so much, I felt like he was the living proof that people with ugly noses weren't losers. And he was able to joke about it!

But I've watched a video from when I was ten recently. I was a PRETTY kid!

So I'm thinking, maybe now I'm pretty too, and I'll only see that in 40 years when I'm old and wrinkled and nothing can save me.

Ro, I used to believe him now it's just a mixture of frustration and hurt. You are too pretty!! I loved the pictures I saw from the Gathering. I wish I could have been there!

DoTheyGandalf wrote:

but I still find it hard to believe that I am pretty since it has been drilled into my head that if you're not skinny you are not attractive at all.

Please stop believing that. You should hear some comment I gather from my husband and his friends when they see a skinny woman...

from:

"look at her, no ass at all, her trouser hangs loose..."

over

"no flesh on the ribs, a man can hurt himself there..."

and

"whoa, nobody seems to feed her..."

to

"gah, if you look at her sharply, she might break in two, what will happen in bed?"

Hard for the skinny ones sometimes.... . as my husband says...
"A man needs a handful" :mrgreen:

DTG, if you really really think you're fat or ugly (which you're not), just get a smaller avatar.

Voila! Problem solved.

When I was young, I thought I was unattractive and avoided all cameras. Now that I am 41, there are very few pictures of me when I was young... but when I look back at those few that exist-- I can finally admit that I was pretty back then.

Getting this picture taken this evening for an avatar was probably the first time in my life I've EVER asked anyone to take a picture of me.

The only things I wish to change about myself is my weight, and my feet. I'm too heavy and it's getting uncomfortable - if I could just get down to 150 lbs, I'd be about right. And my feet have cracks on the skin of the heels. Comes of years of barefooted-ness, I guess. The cracks are a pain. I wish they would not happen. Nothing I try seems to help.

I don't wear makeup, ever. I never wear dresses anymore, just t-shirts, jeans, and flat leather slip on shoes. I don't even wear jewelry. I just don't like it.

I wish I could reassure all you younger folk out there that you DO look just fine as you are now. Appreciate what you have now, because it will change as you age, and probably not for anything closer to any odd societal ideal.

Enjoy being YOU. Differences from the "norm" are cool! Who wants to be clones of everyone else???

MariaHobbit wrote:

I wish I could reassure all you younger folk out there that you DO look just fine as you are now. Appreciate what you have now, because it will change as you age, and probably not for anything closer to any odd societal ideal.

Thanks from another 41 year old!

Thanks Lids, I'm sure that will fix everything

Maria, that is very good advice that I should listen to

Maria, I was telling myself that last night as well. I'm getting there with believing it.

I think the first time I thought I was fat was when I was about 10 and decided my belly was too podgy. I remember being 16 and so nervous wearing a bikini because I felt fat. I was a (UK) size 8 for goodness sakes! Now I look back at pictures of myself them and realise I actually looked good (although without the confidence that would have set my figure off!)

I've always thought my knees were too knobbly and so I hide my legs under long skirts. My legs themselves aren't too bad - no more cellulite than is common to most women and they're a reasonable shape and in proportion with the rest of me - but those knees are hideous. :P

And of course I've always hated my breasts. They're too small, always have been and always will be (unless/until I get pregant I guess!).

This summer I'm going to be on a beach holiday for the first time since I was 21 and I am determined to enjoy it without feeling self-conscious! So that'll mean a padded bikini top, possession of a sarong and six months of sit-ups! :roll:


Iavas, it was my ex who made those comments to me. And my father too had done the 'you've put on weight round your middle' line, when I was about 20. Sadly, it's all too easy to believe negatives. And of course women do and should round out between the ages of 18 and 21! I guess that's a little hard to comes to terms with for the ex who had pulled a skinny 18 year old and ended up with a 22 year old wife, two trouser-sizes bigger and with an attitude to match.

Would you believe it if I said that you (and Matrim) were the first people I can ever recall telling me I was attractive (at least, I think it was you, and I'm going to look bloody silly if I've got that wrong!). So that was all of two and a half years ago.

Thankfully I'm now with a good man who tells me I'm beautiful far more times than he ought to, and I am increased in self confidence in leaps and bounds. :mrgreen:


Somedays I think we ought to just book a B77 nudist holiday and spend a week getting over these stupid issues!

I vote Florida.

Our place.

Nudity of B77s is not only practiced, but actively encouraged.

Leoba, I know it sounds like I'm just saying this cause it's a nice thing to say and all but:P I mean normally I wouldn't say it cause it sounds freaky but this thread is all about telling people how gorgeous they are and ...well I won't tell you you're gorgeous but I will tell you whenever the question of 'what would you like to look like' comes up it's your face and body that pops up in my mind.

*ding*





I love the way your hair is blondish and just...exists.

:oops:

Thanks Ro. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side isn't it.

My hair is a pig - dry ends, greasy roots, so many split ends and all different lengths. Plus £40 a pop to have it cut! But yeah, it just 'exists' - I only had it styled for my wedding - the first and last time!

Watch it Lidless, or it might just come true.

LOL you're right about the grass!!!

I like hair that just exists. Mine seems to have new ideas every morning. And a persisting will to style itself punk without my permission.

When I was 15 I used to wear hats all day round. Sometimes even to bed.

I like your hair though Ro. It looks arty and very personal.

One day I will consent to having my photo taken when I'm just out of bed. It's the Medusa effect. I get mad rabid curls going in every direction and enough knots to make a boy scout proud. It involves much tugging at with a brush and much dunking under the shower before it transforms from 'ready to riot' to 'existing peacefully'.

Then the only thing to worry about is whether it will decide to regain wild waves in the wrong direction during the course of the day or whether it will loose any attempt at body and just go Ker-Splot and stick to the sides of my head!

I bet you still look a lot less scary than you would with hair curlers.

Me, I have to get myself to a hairdresser's some day. Someday soon. It will be my first time though so I'm reasonably terrified.