I just started to say that I can't imagine love without truth, because my almost 22 year old relationship with my much beloved husband is based on complete and total honesty.
But then I remembered my youngest daughter, who lies quite often. And, somehow, I still manage to love her.
I don't think it's an either/or thing. I think that if you have love, then truth just enhances the bond because it increases the level of trust. My man and I are VERY much bonded at this point in our lives, to the point where this morning he sensed that I was troubled before I was even really aware that I was bothered by something. And he's not really a very sensitive guy, really. If personality types mean anything to you, he's an ISTP.
He asked me what was wrong. I said, "Errrrrrrrr....." He said, "No, really, I'm getting a weird feeling from you." I said, "Well, there's this thread on Board77 that I wanted to reply to, but you and I have this confidentiality agreement about sex.... so I couldn't. But it's a pretty good story.
" And I reminded him about it. And he laughed. And I laughed. And I'm still not telling anyone about the weirdest place we ever had sex.... but it's a pretty good story!
Anyway! The point is, we are always truthful with each other, even in little stuff like that. I could have easily said nothing was wrong and changed the subject. But, no, since he asked I had to say, and we both felt better afterwards. I: because I was no longer *keeping* something from him, him: because he then knew what his weird feeling was about.
My youngest daughter--- I never know what she's thinking or if she's lying. Lots of times I have to go with the evidence, not her word. This creates resentment on my part, because it makes it so difficult to learn what the real situation is and to respond appropriately. If she would just TELL THE TRUTH, she'd get in a lot less trouble. But, no. She doesn't. And, somehow, I love her anyway. In a depressed sort of way when she's in trouble.
*sigh*