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Texas School Suspends 9-Year-Old For Terrorism Because He Brought Imaginary Hobbit Ring To Class
Author: Stephen D Foster Jr February 1, 2015 1:55 pm

A nine-year-old boy has been suspended by officials at a Texas school because they believe bringing an imaginary Hobbit ring to class is an act of terrorism.

When Aiden Steward watched “The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies” earlier this week with his family, he naturally wanted to pretend to be a character from the film. Specifically, he pretended to be Bilbo Baggins, the hesitantly brave hero who acquires a magic ring from the creature Gollum in the first movie in the trilogy, which is based on a book written by J.R.R. Tolkien.

Forged at the fictional location of Mount Doom, it is “the one ring to rule them all,” giving the wearer the power of invisibility. The power of the ring aided Bilbo during his journey. So, Aiden brought a ring of his own to Kermit Elementary School and told his friends that they, too, could become invisible by using his ring. Again, the ring had no powers whatsoever, because this is reality.

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Unfortunately, this isn’t the first time Kermit Elementary has punished Aiden for things that seem to only bother Texas.

Aiden once brought his favorite book to school to impress his teacher, but school officials freaked out because “The Big Book of Knowledge” had a section about pregnancy and included an illustration of a pregnant woman. In another innocuous incident, Aiden referred to a black student as black, which drew yet another suspension from the school.

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It's been known to happen to short people from rural areas.

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Return of the fairy-hunters
An eccentric English tradition acquires some new academic firepower

If like me you get all your news from the Cornish Guardian, you may have spotted an article announcing that the Fairy Investigation Society is conducting a survey. They’re seeking information from anyone who has seen any pixies, elves or sprites. . .

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Marjorie Johnson, eventually secretary of the society, encountered an elf in her bedroom as a child and grew up to be a committed fairy-hunter. In the post-war years, she assembled a remarkable archive of sightings — including a family of gnomes in Wollaton Park who were observed driving about in small racing cars. Miss Johnson intended to publish her magnum opus but was undone by some unguarded comments to a tabloid. ‘It has taken me years of study to win their friendship and discover the secrets of their sex life,’ she told the Sunday Pictorial

Jude wrote:

Sewage sludge contains millions of dollars worth of gold, other metals
$13M in metals flushed away each year in a city of a million people, researchers say

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The National Weather Service says a North Central Texas radar site is offline, and a rattlesnake is to blame.

The NWS put out a message saying "due to complications involving a rattlesnake" the site in Granger will be down overnight Tuesday and possibly into Wednesday afternoon.

The NWS tells NBC 5 a technician went to the site Tuesday to upgrade software and when he opened a cabinet containing some computer equipment he discovered a rattlesnake. The technician quickly left the building.

The NWS says animal control will remove and relocate the snake Wednesday

Frelga wrote:

See Dodger by Pratchett.

Jude wrote:

Frelga wrote:

See Dodger by Pratchett.

For that matter, see any Pratchett book where Harry King makes an appearance

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Mark Oberholtzer wasn't following the Syrian militant group Jabhat Ansar al-Din on Twitter. So when they tweeted a picture of a Ford pickup in December with an anti-aircraft gun blazing from the truck bed, he probably missed it.

Until someone mentioned to him that it was his truck. Or rather, it was a truck previously owned by his plumbing company. The jihadists hadn't bothered to remove the decal from the door for Mark-1 Plumbing, complete with his phone number, before sending out the action shot on social media.

Oberholtzer says he traded the truck in at a Texas dealership in 2013. From there, it went to an auction house and was bought and sold until it ended up with its Twitter-happy new owners near Aleppo.