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Dear Chuck Norris

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cemthinae
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Posted: Fri 31 Mar , 2006 9:25 pm
TTBK's cemmie
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I saw Chuck Norris at Fazoli's, and I was, like, really really happy for, like, myself!

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Lady_of_Rohan
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Posted: Fri 31 Mar , 2006 9:28 pm
A maiden young and sad
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Did he give you a forehead kiss?

:LMAO:

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cemthinae
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Posted: Fri 31 Mar , 2006 9:31 pm
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No, because that would require him to have a bit of tenderness and passion. He gave me a roundhouse kick to the face instead. :P

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Lady_of_Rohan
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Posted: Fri 31 Mar , 2006 9:35 pm
A maiden young and sad
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Oh, a souvenir. How nice.

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cemthinae
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Posted: Fri 31 Mar , 2006 9:42 pm
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Close encounter of the Norris kind.

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*E*V*E*N*S*T*A*R*
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Posted: Fri 31 Mar , 2006 9:54 pm
I've cried a thousand oceans, and I would cry a thousand more if that's what it takes to sail you home.
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Did you get a cast made of the imprint in your face? Imagine what it'd go for on eBay.




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Riverthalos
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Posted: Sat 01 Apr , 2006 8:08 pm
bioalchemist
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Chuck Norris can just walk into Mordor.

Sorry. That just had to be said.

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Lady_of_Rohan
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Posted: Sat 01 Apr , 2006 9:32 pm
A maiden young and sad
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River has inspired me.

Chuck Norris does not simply walk into Mordor: he roundhouse kicks Sauron in the face, takes the Ring for himself, and sets up shop in Barad-Dur.

On second thought, Chuck Norris doesn't need the Ring, the Ring needs Chuck Norris.

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Ithilien, the garden of Gondor now desolate kept still a dishevelled dryad loveliness.

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vison
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Posted: Sat 01 Apr , 2006 11:00 pm
Best friends forever
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Precisely.

He is The One Chuck.

One Chuck to rule them all. . . . .
Only no binding in the darkness, eh? Just a few roundhouse kicks and Middle Earth is toast. :D

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Riverthalos
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Posted: Sat 01 Apr , 2006 11:47 pm
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:LMAO: :damnfunny: :LMAO:

That, LoR, was beautiful. Just absolutely beautiful.

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Lidless
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Posted: Sat 10 Jun , 2006 5:07 am
Als u het leven te ernstig neemt, mist u de betekenis.
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yovargas
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Posted: Sat 10 Jun , 2006 2:11 pm
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Apparently, reading is not included amongst Chuck Norris' many abilities.


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vison
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Posted: Fri 18 Aug , 2006 12:02 am
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Did yaz know that there is a new bridge somewhere in Hungary that could be named "The Chuck Norris Bridge"?

I'd thot the Chuck could just, like, lay down with his hands on one side of the river and his feet on the other and people could, like, drive over him. :D

Here's a linky thingy: http://news.com.com/2061-10786_3-6100780.html

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Eruname
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Posted: Fri 18 Aug , 2006 1:15 am
Islanded in a Stream of Stars
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Nope...it won't be. Stephen Colbert just passed him up. :D

http://www.nofactzone.net/?p=132


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Lady_of_Rohan
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Posted: Fri 18 Aug , 2006 1:52 am
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I've already cast my vote.

Mwahaha, Colbert Nation cannot be stopped!

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Estel
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Posted: Sat 20 Jan , 2007 1:33 am
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Stolen from another forum.... :cool:


http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/cornwall/6278295.stm

Quote:
Horrors of sea rescue revealed

Royal Navy helicopter rescues Napoli crew. Picture: AFP/Getty Images
The helicopters had to hover in gale-force winds
Royal Navy rescuers who saved 26 men from a life-raft after they abandoned their ship have described the conditions they endured as horrific.

Crewmembers from the MSC Napoli were rescued by helicopters from RNAS Culdrose after the ship was holed in storms 50 miles (80km) off Cornwall.

Giant waves rose higher than the helicopters as wind and spray lashed the rescuers and the sailors.

One helicopter broke two lines trying to get a winch line to the raft.

The seamen were suffering extreme seasickness and hypothermia by the time they were hauled to safety.


They had only been there for a few hours, but they were in quite a bad way
Petty Officer Jay O'Donnell

The container ship was en-route when it sent out a distress call at about 1030 GMT on Thursday.

When they arrived on scene, the helicopter crews knew they were in for a tough operation.

The sailors were brought onto the aircraft individually after a diver, Petty Officer Jay O'Donnell, was lowered to the raft.

PO O'Donnell, 33, from Camborne, said: "The conditions were quite horrific when we got on scene.

"The life-raft was really rolling; and we had low visibility, low clouds and it was very stormy.

"The first aircraft broke two lines trying to get communications with the raft.

"The second aircraft got me down to it in the water in full diving kit.

"I got on board to assess the situation and check casualties."

Rescued Napoli crew - Picture: PA
The rescued crewmembers were taken back to RNAS Culdrose
He then spent 90 minutes securing each of the crewmen to a line so they could be winched to the helicopters.

He said: "They had only been there for a few hours, but they were in quite a bad way.

"They were quite shocked and suffering from hypothermia, extreme vomiting and sea-sickness."

The crew included two British cadets, plus seamen from Bulgaria, Ukraine, Turkey, India and the Philippines.

Despite the life-raft being able to hold 32 people, the freighter's crew said they still endured cramped conditions.

British deck cadet Nicholas Colbourn, 20, from the Scottish Highlands, said: "There was not much space at all, no leg room and we were cramped like sardines.

"The conditions were quite actually hot in there because we all had immersion suits on. It was pretty awkward and not very nice."

MSC Napoli - Picture: AFP/Getty Images
The Napoli was en-route to Portugal with 2,400 containers on board

Helicopter commanding officer Lt Chuck Norris said the continuing storm also hampered the rescue.

He said: "We were hovering 40 to 60 feet throughout it and some of the waves were actually coming above the helicopter.

"So we were going up and down with the waves and, unfortunately, occasionally the life-raft would go down while the helicopter was going up, making the winching extremely difficult. It was very, very rough."

The vessel is now under tow. British and French authorities are debating where the ship should be taken to.


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The OG Borry
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Posted: Sat 20 Jan , 2007 12:18 pm
The best things in life are not things
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Im confused Eru. Stephen Colbert is cooler than Chuck Norris because he had a bridge named after him?? Im sure you forget the fact that people invented bridges to get away from Chuck Norris.
Borry


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*E*V*E*N*S*T*A*R*
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Posted: Sat 20 Jan , 2007 12:32 pm
I've cried a thousand oceans, and I would cry a thousand more if that's what it takes to sail you home.
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Votes for Colbert surpassed votes for Norris at the time she posted that, I think.




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Angbasdil
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Posted: Tue 20 Nov , 2007 10:44 pm
The man, the myth, the monkey
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Chuck Norris has endorsed Mike Huckabee for President.
Huckabee and Norris made a really funny campaign commercial together.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjYv2YW6azE

There's a whole lot I don't like about Huckabee, but it's nice to see a politician with a sense of humor.


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LalaithUrwen
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Posted: Wed 21 Nov , 2007 4:11 am
The Grey Amaretto as Supermega-awesome Proud Heretic Girl
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:LMAO: :LMAO: :damnfunny:

That's awesome!!!!


Lali

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